By WYNNE GRAY at the World Cup
As Australia beat its World Cup chest this week, the nation also indulged in a televised IQ test.
There was only one question missing: how do you stop Jonny Wilkinson from winning the final for England?
It is the sort of inquiry that has transfixed opponents
for some seasons.
There was a mid-tournament glitch during which Wilkinson had a few misfires before he kicked the Sweet Chariot home in sudden-death matches against Wales and France. Instead of goading England to change their style as David Campese did with telling effect when the Wallabies beat England in the 1991 final, there have been more subtle attempts this time to incite the Six Nations champions.
All manner of former Wallabies have been prised from their couches to question England's style and its effect on the world of rugby.
Others have debated the merits of rugby's points-scoring system in a dig at the dropped goals and penalties Wilkinson sends between the posts.
Columnists from both hemispheres have traded jibes on the topic. England have been warned to brace for a further sporting curse that has plagued the nation since it last won a World Cup, in 1966 in soccer.
Australia has been told that any Pom-bashing campaign is a sure sign of the Wallabies' insecurity, that dour and boring equals winning, certainly at this tournament.
The jokes keep coming like this:
An Englishman takes his dog to the pub to watch the World Cup and the dog backflips when Wilkinson kicks a goal. The impressed bartender asks what the canine does when England score a try.
"Dunno," says the owner, "I've only had him for five years."
There have been accusations that Wilkinson is to rugby what Jardine was to the Bodyline series.
None of this will deter England or their coach Clive Woodward.
He acknowledged the Pom-bashing as nothing more than lively banter after winning the semifinal.
Woodward has been on his World Cup mission for six years, and no amount of talk will dissuade him from his path. He has left nothing to chance.
England's hotel in the Sydney beachside suburb of Manly was swept again this week for bugs by the side's security expert, plastic sheeting shrouded the team's training field and the minders alongside Wilkinson were doubled.
God help the team chef if any of the squad shows signs of tummy upsets.
Rival coaches Woodward and Eddie Jones, aka Fighting Harada, the legendary Japanese boxer, have called a truce to their usual patterns of claims about the other's illegal tactics.
No mention, yet, of England's illegal rolling maul or the Wallabies' decoy runners in midfield.
Instead we had Woodward insisting that the Wallabies would make the final and being proven right in the tournament upset against the All Blacks.
Australia, said Woodward, had produced the best spell of rugby at this fifth World Cup.
Jones was in a similarly generous mood the day after as England beat shocking conditions and France to advance to tomorrow's conclusion in Sydney.
"They dominated the setpieces," Jones said.
"They put enormous pressure on France through their domination of the possession, gained good field position and turned those opportunities into points."
He only felt the selection of Mike Tindall instead of Mike Catt suggested that England would try a mixed pattern of attack as they had when they beat the Wallabies 25-14 mid-year.
About the same time, most of the Australia media began gulping down massive portions of humble pie, pulled out their jingoistic phrasebook and rolled in behind the Wallaby wagon.
They chipped at England with the conviction of a sprat facing a white pointer.
Any ideas had been rather shortcircuited by Wallaby captain George Gregan, who said he would make any choices needed to win the final even if it meant risking the wrath of spectators demanding to be entertained.
"If the decision is to go for goal and the crowd thinks we should go for a try, well, the crowd aren't on the field competing."
His response to a query about England's boring style brought a "who cares" reply, "they're in a World Cup final".
Touche Woodward and his massive captain Martin Johnson.
The England lock grinds away throughout matches and then invariably puts a deal of effort into answering media questions once he has showered.
Both have repeated that this World Cup is about winning.
"You take the points that are in front of you. Australia kicked five penalties on Saturday and scored on an interception," said Johnson. "They did what they had to do to win the game.
As for the secret formula to stop Wilkinson? By common consensus, it is a case of trying to reduce his space and supply of possession.
All Black skipper Reuben Thorne acknowledged Wilkinson's matchwinning prowess. The best method, he said, would be to disrupt England's pack, but he doubted the Wallabies had that capability, at least in the scrum.
It would fall to the twin-pincers Phil Waugh and George Smith to harass the English pivot all evening.
* THE FINAL - Live on TV One, kick-off 10pm.
Full World Cup coverage
Trying to topple the sweet chariot
By WYNNE GRAY at the World Cup
As Australia beat its World Cup chest this week, the nation also indulged in a televised IQ test.
There was only one question missing: how do you stop Jonny Wilkinson from winning the final for England?
It is the sort of inquiry that has transfixed opponents
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