Counter Attack

Hang on. The All Blacks lost and there is no public meltdown. No recession and no crisis of confidence. How can this be? Perhaps it's because this is just the latest of a series of heartbreaks since the last World Cup - five of them being the gut-wrenching America's Cup races just eight months ago. Could it be that, desensitised, like kids growing up in a war zone, we've learned to get on with our lives.

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Herald columnist Jim Hopkins' Jolly All Black Jokes To Cheer The Country Up: Q: Who was the best player in the All Blacks backline last Saturday night?
A: Stirling Mortlock
Q: What is the most redeeming feature of the All Black coach?
A: It's got comfortable seats.
Q: What's the difference between a modern All Black and Osama bin Laden?
A: None at all. They both vanish when they're really wanted.
Q: What's the difference between the All Blacks and a Kiwi sheep?
A: The All Blacks get roasted on Saturday.
Q: What did John O'Neill say to the All Blacks before the World Cup final?
A: "Let me know if you'd like better seats."

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Oh, how they are enjoying themselves in England. The Daily Telegraph wasn't happy simply basking in the All Black's abject loss, it had to take a potshot at our solitary cup victory in 1987. "Even in the first World Cup everything was stacked in their favour - home advantage and essentially a professional team in a supposedly amateur era when most of the opposing teams were combining rugby with a holiday." The New Zealand team's media shy approach also drew the cutting observation: "Frankly, just for a couple of days, we do not want to talk to them."

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If you felt your life draining away during the closing minutes of our World Cup dream spare a thought for Byron Kelleher. After another doomed last minute surge for the Aussie line, the halfback looked up into the smiling face of evil genius George Gregan. "Four more years boys," was all he said. That's gotta hurt.

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England has already fired the first cheap shots in what should become a bitter slanging match up to the final. Surprisingly it hasn't come from the rabid tabloids, but respected magazine the Spectator. "Being good at sport is about the only thing which alleviates Australia's enormous inferiority complex; take that away and there's nothing left. We think fondly of the Australians as a nation of informally attired spring-heeled Jacks ... a people excelling at drinking and all manner of organised sports but not necessarily capable of following a line of print without slowly and painfully mouthing the words to themselves."