Paul Lewis: British critic Stephen Jones' swipe at Dan Carter embarrassing

For decades, rugby writer Stephen Jones of The Sunday Times has been the wind-up king of Kiwis but his latest effort, a swipe at Dan Carter, only emphasises how Jones' old outrage generator is wheezing and clanking these days.

One of the great pleasures of The Times going all paywall on us is that most Kiwis don't see Jones' anti-New Zealand rugby stuff. Little matter, these days; those who live by the sort of bluster Jones has summoned up during his career inevitably end up speaking to the wall.

He's had a captive audience of British rugby followers, licence to indulge in a bit of Kiwi-baiting which earned him extra points when Kiwi knees jerked. But once the click-bait, attention-seeking, motivation behind the stinging words is understood, the sting is drawn.

He is largely an irrelevance these days, although still a reminder of the curious phenomenon of British isolationism (how's that Brexit thing going?) typified by that apocryphal heading in The Times years back: Dense fog in channel; continent isolated.

Dense fog, indeed. The old boy did a number on Carter this week, questioning his ability and harking back to his drink-drive conviction in Paris, re-surfacing a quote that Carter had developed a new skill: the ability to enjoy a party.

Our Dan is playing his last European game in this weekend's Champions Cup between Leinster and Racing 92 (Dan's lot, in case you didn't know). Jones seems to be trying to use present-day Carter to illustrate that former Carter wasn't a true great or, if he was, only because the rest of the All Blacks were so good – something that seems entirely unnecessary and undermining...a bit like me saying Jones has controversial opinions but a face like a melted candle.

"Carter was a great player for the All Blacks but it is important to note the platform on which he played," Jones wrote. "It would be too much to say that your old grandmother could have played fly-half for the All Blacks, so dominant were they throughout two World Cups, and Carter was sublime at each end — in 2005 against the Lions and a decade later in the World Cup final — if inconsistent in between.

"It is a good few years since Carter has truly been in his pomp - in the 2005 series against the Lions, he appeared to be walking on water and it probably took him until 2015 to regain those heights."

Unable to break wind in the general direction of the present-day All Blacks, Jones contented himself by saying Carter was not alone when it came to All Blacks under-delivering on overseas assignment: "It is quite remarkable how variable in performance All Black imports have been. Sometimes, the greater the All Black, the worse they have fared."

Dan Carter is 36. He hasn't been in his pomp for some time and anyone who expects him to be is living on Planet Lulu. If you employ All Blacks at the end of their career – players seeking retirement money and a diverting social end to their rugby lives – there may be some measure of disappointment.

Carter's 1598 test points (including 29 tries, just outside the top 10 in All Black history) is 300 points clear of Jonny Wilkinson's next best effort. It is a world record that could stand forever, given the increasingly brutal pace and physicality of the game.

He has been, in my view, the most complete rugby player in history. He could win a game for you by running, passing, kicking, goalkicking, defending and the masterly split-second judgement granted the greats.

If Carter had been British, Jones would never have questioned greatness. There would be genuflections galore and praise without end – no half-compliments laced with references to grandmothers. His Carter comments reveal only an archer with an empty quiver; a rhino with no horn.

In the end, we must rely on a former international first-five and former Lions coach, Ian McGeechan, writing in the Daily Telegraph, heralding Carter's departure in quite a different voice from Jones': "...the hallmark of a great player; the impact he has on those around him. Carter had that in spades. A great defender, he was brave, skilful, quick, a machine with the boot. To average 14 points a Test (1598 points in 112 games) is remarkable, however good your team-mates are."

There speaks a rugby man not affected by national interest, click-bait and dyspepsia.
Jones was in Australia, watching the All Blacks demolish Wales in the quarter-final of the first Rugby World Cup.

Welsh lock Huw Richards attempted to discipline Gary Whetton with a few blows. Skipper Buck Shelford arrived and introduced Richards to the third best sleeping pill known to man (behind sex and the sound of waves crashing on the shore).

The referee waited until Richards regained consciousness and then sent him off, somehow neglecting to address Shelford. An apoplectic Jones boomed a mock headline in the general direction of the New Zealand writers: "Kiwis' Day of Shame".

Sitting next to me was Phil Gifford who shot back one of those quick comebacks you always wish you'd said: "Welshman Woken Up To Be Sent Off".

Now, all these years later, Jones has woken up to send one of the most revered All Blacks off – but simply revealed the void where his judgement should be and how his old wind-up tactics have wound right down.