Uncertainty facing global sport has forced Lima Sopoaga to ponder life after rugby and the flimsy fabric of everyday living.
Eleven years Sopoaga has played professional rugby. He emerged through the Wellington ranks, helped lead the underdog Highlanders to the Super Rugby title and played 16 tests before joining Waspsin 2018.
Elite athletes often feel defined by what they do and, thus, contemplating what next can be a scary prospect.
The suspension of rugby throughout the world has, however, forced many Kiwis at home, and abroad, to consider what their lives suddenly look like without the day-to-day routine and security the game provides.
As borders close, social distancing and isolation measures become the new norm, everything takes on a different light in the wake of the coronavirus pandemic.
"For a lot of us for a long time we've been told rugby goes so fast and to think about the future. As a young guy coming up you think you'll play this game forever," Sopoaga tells the Herald from his home in Coventry. "This time out has given me time to reflect on what I would do and how would I feel if rugby finished tomorrow.
"I'm in the same boat as a lot of rugby players who are probably a bit anxious, a bit nervous. Now is the time to really do something and find out what you want to do post rugby."
As much as Sopoaga, 29, would love his podcast to reach Joe Rogan interest levels, he knows it's more of a hobby. He's instead heeding advice from his brother, Tupou, who played for the Sharks, Panthers and Highlanders before transitioning into the business world, about seizing the chance to build connections before it's too late and relevance fades.
"I really wanted to be a police officer when I was a kid so that's always an option if I come home. Apart from that, I'm not too sure at the minute."
Sopoaga notes examples set by former players including Ben Atiga, Dan Leo and Hale T-Pole of how to establish careers post playing.
"Those guys have transitioned well but then there are others who have done well in rugby and haven't used that platform to further their careers and that stalled their life. I don't want that to happen. Once rugby is done, it's done. I want to hit the ground running."
All Blacks Lima Sopoaga, TJ Perenara and Ardie Savea during the national anthems, in the Rugby Championship test match between the All Blacks and South Africa. Photo / Brett Phibbs.
English rugby, other than the top flight Premiership competition, has been cancelled for the remainder of the season.
The Premiership is suspended until at least April 20 but, given the stringent government-imposed restrictions on mass gatherings and general life, few expect professional rugby in England to resume before July.
Sopoaga's club, which also contracts Brad Shields, Malakai Fekitoa, Jeff Toomaga-Allen, Jimmy Gopperth and Jacob Umaga, are among those imposing 25 per cent wage cuts, adding to the uncertainty.
"It's a crazy time. You've seen football have canned their games until April 30 at least for the Premiership. The way I look at it, football is life in this country so if football isn't playing there's no way rugby will be playing.
"Clubs need these games for sponsorship and broadcasting deals. It's going to be interesting to see what happens.
"At the end of the day it's given people time to sit and reflect on what's actually important. For me that's my family, my health, having good people around and making sure those relationships are strong.
"If this whole thing blows up and the world ends tomorrow all we really have is each other. That's what I've taken from it, to slow life down a little and check in on those that I care about.
"We did have thoughts of heading home but then what? We still have to pay rent over here and we end up living in two places. For us we'll just sit tight."
In this holding pattern, all Sopoaga and fellow players can do is attempt to maintain fitness through home workouts and runs in the hope the situation improves.
With daughters, Milla, 2, and Isla, 11 months, running around, time at home has quickly given Sopoaga a new appreciation for the all-consuming challenges parenting entails.
"It's been good connecting with them more and seeing what mothers go through on a daily basis. It's hard work. When people say they are stay at home parents that's a proper job. I've got so much respect for women especially who raise kids because after being at home for three days I'm wanting the rugby back on.
"I'm lucky to have a very loving partner, Miriam Morgan, who has done a great job in raising our kids so I'm very grateful."
Grocery shopping has led to a state of disbelief at the behaviour of locals, which emulate many in New Zealand and Australia.
"It's disappointing to see the way people have reacted. Obviously people get scared when they see stuff on the news but you don't need 5000 rolls of toilet paper. It's embarrassing."
In a recent supermarket visit Sopoaga watched one man reach the counter with 40 canned food items, only to be told he was allowed to buy four.
"It's sad. You see some old people and they're visibly upset when they get into the supermarket because those people are panic buying."
Such instances are yet another sign that any form of normality seems a long way off.
