He's not quite Nigel no mates but Kane Williamson sure could do with some help.
New Zealand's unhealthy reliance on Williamson at this World Cup has come to make their captain resemble the lone pupil left to eat his peanut butter sandwich while the other kids try to match his bat down top score.
The more this tournament progresses, the rougher seas have become for the man dubbed steady the ship.
Too often Williamson has been left holding a sawn-off milk jug, attempting to bail his side out.
The Black Caps' boat is leaking – someone else needs to help plug the hole.
On the eve of New Zealand's semifinal with India at Old Trafford, Williamson is not, of course, about to throw any added scrutiny at his teammates. Instead, he will try to inject some confidence for this fresh-start opportunity.
Yet while there is a sense New Zealand's bowling department could test India, especially if conditions assist in exposing the potentially vulnerable Indian middle order, faith in the Black Caps' batting performance in Manchester is limited.
Scores of 157 and 186 in the last two, heavy defeats to semifinalists England and Australia, leave plenty to prove as Jasprit Bumrah, Mohammed Shami and the Indian spinners loom.
Led by Lockie Ferguson's firebrand aggression and Trent Boult's repeat efforts, with Matt Henry, Colin de Grandhomme, Mitchell Santner playing frustrating restricting roles and Jimmy Neesham nabbing the odd wicket, New Zealand's attack seem unlikely to shock India but are more than capable of building pressure and digging in for a fighting chance.
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Accuracy, selections and execution haven't always gone to plan but, on the whole, the bowlers deserve a pass mark. Only once have they conceded 300 or more – in their last, 119-run defeat to England in Durham when strike weapon Ferguson rested his injured hamstring.
Batting wise, it's almost been Williamson or bust.
Almost, because Ross Taylor has complied 261 runs and his man-of-the-match 82 helped push the Black Caps to their shaky victory over Bangladesh, when Santner's 17 from 12 was also influential.
Neesham continues to prove his growing resilience, too. His unbeaten 97 against Pakistan, in a record sixth-wicket partnership with de Grandhomme, saved an embarrassing collapse.
Yet without Williamson's two centuries, the Black Caps were dusted against the West Indies and South Africa, and would therefore not be around to scrap at this knockout stage of the tournament.
Even the best world-class players need help.
"There's been a number of other contributions that have been really important in order for us to get where we are right now," Williamson said. "Whether that's a lower score in terms an individual, it's still been very significant chasing totals down, which we've done very well in the earlier stages of the competition.
"From my perspective I try do my role as best I can to help move the team forward. That doesn't change going into tomorrow. You're always wanting to contribute more – you never put a number on it but that's why we all practice so hard make those contributions bigger and better."
The opening win over Sri Lanka in Cardiff, where Martin Guptill and Colin Munro cruised to 137 in the 10-wicket win under no scoreboard pressure, becomes more an anomaly with each match.
Four golden ducks from Guptill and Munro – three more than all previous World Cups for New Zealand combined – has forced Williamson into pseudo opener and, thus, thrust more pressure to perform.
With his late, soft hands; wristy flicks and temperament, Williamson never shirks or flinches in adversity. He's used to it.
Only in a global context can we appreciate his esteem.
Averaging 96.2 at this World Cup – not aided by a freak run out last innings – Williamson sits top to outrank the other three remaining captains, Virat Kohli in 10th with 441 runs at 63; Aaron Finch (15th 507 at 53.3) and Eoin Morgan (29th 317 at 39.6).
Grant Elliott's match-winning strike in the last of eight New Zealand World Cup semifinals is etched in folk law. Williamson's defiant blow to defeat Australia in the gripping group match of that tournament at the same Eden Park venue will similarly stick long in the memory.
Three weeks ago Williamson replicated those feats against the Proteas, his six sailing into the heaving Edgbaston stand to snatch victory with nine balls to spare.
It's great entertainment but not fair such acts are demanded so often of one man.
A return to Manchester offers a new day, with nothing to lose, for New Zealand's struggling batsmen.
Taylor was in a mood to swing, connecting more often than not, in the nets today facing the test left-arm off-spin of Ajaz Patel, and may hope to now carry that approach through.
It's now or never that support acts assume ownership and shoulder the Williamson burden.