Kiwi FC football players in London, complete with All Whites shirts with the silver fern, are playing at amateur level but take the game, and winning, seriously.
Kiwi FC football players in London, complete with All Whites shirts with the silver fern, are playing at amateur level but take the game, and winning, seriously.
A football team for New Zealanders (and some interlopers) a long way from home has lofty goals, writes Liam Napier.
The hint is in the name. Kiwi FC, a home away from home.
New Zealand's only dedicated London football team has offered that welcoming place for the past 15 years. Sport, at the amateur level especially, should always represent more than the game.
It's about bringing people from all walks of life together; breaking down stereotypes, forming friendships and, of course, helping keep that threatening puku at bay.
Such sentiments embody the heart Kiwi FC, this makeshift club that has evolved into something of a rite of passage for New Zealand footballers in London.
Formed in 2004 by Stephen McGroggan and Kent Barnes - after efforts to source a local team proved fruitless - Kiwi FC began as a bunch of battlers.
The original 15-man squad blended footballers, rugby players, friends of friends. Anyone with a pair of boots was welcome.
That rag-tag bunch promptly joined the Wimbledon and District League, founded in 1898 and once home to the likes of Wimbledon FC, and did the best they could.
The have since morphed into a rather competitive unit.
As the years progressed, the calibre of player improved. Titles have followed. There was an inner-city World Cup triumph, beating a Ghanaian side in final. And last season, they gained promotion to the second of four divisions; the Henry Marks Championship.
Not bad for an outfit whose training consists of two five-a-side teams in another casual kick-about league.
Kiwi FC old boys include former All Whites Daniel Ellensohn and Adam McGeorge; Beijing Olympians Cole Tinkler and Shaun van Rooyen, former Phoenix midfielder Tom Biss and New Zealand age-group rep Joel Mathews, now the team coach, chief executive, gaffer (manager), and sometime goal provider.
Saturday's are for the boys.
Mathews is the typical story. He joined after moving over eight years ago, knowing few people in London at the time. Almost by default, as others shifted home, he has grabbed the reins as longest serving member left standing.
"The last five years are unrecognisable from early on," Mathews says. "We've won a few titles and had a lot of good times off the pitch as well.
"The football is really a place for us to meet up and get together. When we cross the white line for 80 minutes, we compete hard, but then after the game, it's all about getting to the pub and having a few beers with mates.
"It's great way to stay connected with Kiwi lads and have a bit of fun and banter along the way."
The United Kingdom's two-year visa stipulations for New Zealanders force a 30 per cent turnover each season.
This year's squad of 25 features eight new faces, many originating from Hawke's Bay.
Although difficult to come to terms with at first, three English imports have been embraced; all now considered adopted Kiwis.
Sam King is one. Football was a staple from the age of 12 to 20 in Essex, playing for a team he describes as "no less than savages".
"It kept me protected as the less abusive, shy, 16 stone [101kg] lad on the left wing with good feet," King says. "But there was no team spirit; no post-match, no antics in general. It was just something to do on the weekend in a town where there's little else."
Rob Johnson, the fiery ginger centre back, offered King an avenue in. The pair struck up a friendship while working together in London.
Despite many discriminatory objections, King was offered a trial. His initial showings were poor, owing much to his pre-night preparations.
One weekend, he eventually came good and has never looked back. Not only named last year's MVP, King has also graduated to head of international relations.
"Since that day, I've barely missed a Kiwi FC Saturday. Why would I? I'm half Kiwi now. It's a true love story, one I'd never change. The puzzle comes together season in, season out. It wouldn't be possible without the gaffer but there's multiple roots to the tree and everyone contributes. I dreamed a Kiwi FC dream and I got it. Kia kaha."
Kiwi FC are unmistakable. Donning a traditional white shirt with a fern on the chest, accompanied by black shorts and socks, one could be forgiven for thinking they are an official New Zealand export.
Former New Zealand Knights professional Cole Tinkler anchors the Kiwi FC backline.
Their Raynes Park, pot-holed pitch is a giveaway, though. This is proper grassroots, park footy.
In the coming winter months, grounds drastically deteriorate. So, too, sideline support diminishes.
On this fine day, there is a sprinkling of wives, girlfriends, babies and a dog - all perched on the same log.
Over the course of a season, grounds drastically deteriorate. So, too, does sideline support.
"We're proud Kiwis, so we thought we'd shuck a fern on and annoy a few of the English lads as we go," Mathews says.
"We get a lot of messages from Kiwi guys moving over every year wanting to join the club. I think the name attracts a lot of players.
"The tackles can be flying in and there's not a lot of structure to the game but it's all part and parcel of it all."
"Come on Kiwi" chants intertwine Tottenham-Liverpool updates.
Riley Morris, usual starting keeper, runs rolling subs from the sideline with a beer in hand.
Mathews, making his way back from another knee surgery, suggests he will only play "if needed".
Kiwi FC target former Glenfield Rovers and Waikato FC bigman Richie Beard from their set plays.
Running a 4-4-1-1 formation, Kiwi FC are down 0-1 early in the second half against Partizan Wandsworth, rallying resiliently to prevail 3-1 and start the season on the right note.
By the finish, injuries and fatigue mount. Mathews plays the final 30 minutes, setting up one goal with a ball into the box that is headed in. This time, he walks off unscathed.
Regular expletives from the opposition keeper express the competitiveness many amateurs will recognise.
Last year, one local team hired the official England coach (bus) and rocked up in full suits for their final.
That's some effort, but Kiwi FC aren't to be outdone post-match. Here, they really come to play.
Down the local, gin and Tabasco shots are dished out to the four debutants, all of whom must also knock back a pint and say something nice about themselves.
Small monetary fines are directed elsewhere for various infractions ranging from running late to not bringing the Australian-themed beer of the week to changing relationship status in the shower last night.
These are the sort of antics which bring teams together.
"It can be a long, tough winter over here," Mathews says. "If you don't have mates to hang out with, it can get really lonely, so it's a great vehicle to build friendships through football."
In the age of professionalism, so often we overlook sport's inclusive power.
Kiwi FC are but one example of this ethos.
They just happen to be achieving it for New Zealanders on the other side of the world.
