Desperately alone, dateless and wondering why everybody can find love except you?
No, this isn't a casting call for Married At First Sight, it's more of a public service announcement to ease your pain.
You might be eating ice cream straight from the tub while watching Love Actually for the 13th time on a Friday night but don't despair — you've got more in common with an Olympic gold medallist than you might think.
We can't confirm skiing legend Lindsey Vonn's Friday night habits involve the above activities, but one thing we know for sure is the glamorous American can't score herself a date.
It's pretty remarkable considering what she brings to the table. The 33-year-old is attractive, articulate, famous and an Olympic icon.
Perhaps that's too intimidating a task for single guys to tackle right now.
Fresh from winning bronze in the ladies' downhill at the recently completed Winter Games in PyeongChang, Vonn was the toast of America. She won gold in the same event at the Vancouver Winter Olympics in 2010 and Bronze in the Super-G program.
That she was able to medal in what was her final Olympic campaign was a seriously impressive effort — but not impressive enough to win her a boyfriend.
Vonn's list of ex-partners includes golf star Tiger Woods and NFL assistant coach Kenan Smith (they broke up in November), while she was also married to fellow skier Thomas Vonn for four years.
But she's going through a dry spell.
Vonn was vocal about her desire to find a man in South Korea, hoping Twitter would get the job done.
It didn't, and neither did appearing on the red carpet at this week's Oscars.
Vonn attended Hollywood's night of nights with her sister Karin but while some actors left with a little gold statue, she left without even a phone number.
A despondent Vonn revealed not even the after-parties provided her with any luck.
"I didn't (meet anyone)," Vonn told US show Access Live. "They were all either married or dating or not available.
"I haven't really had any offers. I didn't have one guy talk to me that wasn't married or taken at the entire night, all the after parties, not one guy at the Oscars."
And so started a segment where hosts Natalie Morales and Kit Hoover went through celebrities to find who would be the best fit for Vonn. They couldn't believe no man would want her so made it their mission to find Vonn a partner.
Vonn said Mad Men star Jon Hamm was "doable, in the mix" and, unsurprisingly, gave two thumbs up to Brad Pitt.
"Yeah, sure, you guys want to facilitate that? Why not, let's go. Brad's everyone's type," she said.
Rapper Drake wasn't really up her alley though. "He's good looking. I've met him a few times, but he's dated a few people that I know. I'm not sure. He can make a rap song about me and I'm totally fine with that," Vonn said.
If Drake was a soft no, Vonn rejected New England Patriots NFL star Rob Gronkowski by shouting it from the rooftops.
"I love Gronk, but that is never going to happen," she said. "I can say never! It's never going to happen."
Funnyman Chris Pratt sounded like he was in with a shot, even though Vonn let out an ominous "oohh" when his name came up. It sounded like a match with Pratt would make Vonn's sister Karin happier than her, because she believes the skier needs more "funny" in her life.
"Oohh. I like Pratt, I like Chris. He's very funny. Karin says I need more funny in my life," Vonn said. "I have not (met Pratt). I went to his premiere of Jurassic World but he was married at the time."
We said at the start this had nothing to do with Married At First Sight, but if you watched Vonn's appearance on Access Live, you could be forgiven for thinking the talk show had turned into a reality dating program.
Think cult favourite If You Are The One only the available partners aren't there to have their say. Instead, they appear on a screen and the hosts do the matchmaking for them.
If you don't know what that show is, then chances are you're not alone on the couch at 11pm eating those tubs of ice cream while watching late night SBS.
Of all the contenders, Vonn was most enthusiastic about Black Panther star Michael B. Jordan. The pair share the same stylist, and Vonn is hoping to use him to set up a first date.
"He's very cute," Vonn said. "My stylist — he's trying to facilitate (dinner). I'm trying to get the ball rolling on this one, but it hasn't happened and he's already shooting his next movie."
Beautiful and talented but bang out of luck — that's not really how many people would think the world works for someone like Vonn.
It prompted a revelation you'd never expect to hear from someone with her profile. "I don't know if I can compete (with other women)," she said.
But don't worry. There's no chance of Vonn giving up on love, locking herself at home and becoming a crazy cat lady. After all, she's got dogs.
"I've got three dogs," she said. "Who needs a guy when you've got three dogs?"