Sport's most overrated World Cup is nearly upon us. Can't wait for the good bits though.
Cricket's one-day tournament isn't a real World Cup, it's an excuse for one. It is more irrelevant than ever, now that 50-over cricket is the poor relation among the three forms of the game. One day, the World Cup will get beaten up by T20 free-for-alls such as the Big Bash, and disappear.
The tournament is a tiring march and the lead-up a long run-in. New Zealand's multitude of warm-up games versus Sri Lanka and Pakistan hasn't exactly thrilled the masses. New Zealand's final fine tuning involves park-rules games against South Africa and Zimbabwe.
Cricket's World Cup is full of holes. It is a long haul but the final is too short. A true World Cup would have a best-of finale akin to baseball's World Series, but by that stage everybody wants to go home. The winner of the tournament might be the best team in the world, but winning it doesn't automatically announce you as the best. Worse still, any upset draws a match-fixing cloud so - sadly - becomes a PR nightmare rather than a fairytale.
Rugby naysayers point out how few teams are in genuine contention for the Webb Ellis Cup, but even less can win this cricket World Cup. South Africa and Australia are roaring favourites, with New Zealand a distant third. No one else has much hope. The field includes the United Arab Emirates, which is more bizarre than playing a football World Cup in Qatar.
The reliable highlight, from a parochial perspective, will be New Zealand's clash against Australia at Eden Park, a ground which doesn't heave with excitement too often.
Eden Park's last big moment was the 2011 Rugby World Cup final, when most of the crowd were too nervous to enjoy the game or make more than a squeak. Some spectators described it as a horrible experience, although Richie McCaw loved the excruciating final stanza. No wonder he is so good.
Cricket has given Eden Park some of its finest moments, particularly when the one day game was rising and Richard Hadlee was king. Those BYO days resulted in fabulous mayhem now and then. The crowd would chant Hadlee's name, a stirring business never to be forgotten.
The atmosphere at New Zealand's game against Australia on February 28 will rock because the ground is sold out, the transtasman rivalry will kick in, and New Zealanders don't care about cricket like rugby. They will feel free to scream and shout, unburdened by history. And Australia has the most controversial and exhilarating player in the game - little Davey Warner.
The other thing the tournament has going for it is the amazing New Zealand batting lineup. The top order are capable of almost anything. Kane Williamson, on the cusp of greatness, can go better than a run a ball in such an effortless way you hardly notice.
There has also been a huge shift in technique such as the rise of the reverse sweep. Once-extravagant shots are no longer condemned as irresponsible. Another winner is the replays of previous World Cups on Sky TV including the 1979 final, when West Indian fans danced over Lord's while their team danced over England. This game featured the finest of collapses, the last seven England batters contributing a total of nine runs against the feared Windies attack.
The final man, Mike Hendrick, appeared more interested in grabbing a keepsake stump than protecting it from Colin Croft's bowling. He made an excited run, his trophy gripped tight, through the invading fans. It wasn't the response of desperation and dejection you would expect to see in any genuine World Cup final.