"Apparently Auckland Transport could find nothing wrong with this window cleaner parking his van on, and blocking, this Parnell pedestrian crossing for more than three hours last Saturday," declares a reader.
Cat whisperer wanted
A cat sanctuary in Greece is looking for a committed cat fancier. God's Little People Cat Rescue has advertised a paid gig on the island of Syros to look after all 55 of its cats. The job comes with an undisclosed salary; a small, semidetached house with fully covered utilities; and a private garden with views of the Aegean Sea. You will be responsible for feeding the cats, giving them their medicine, and handling all the general duties that come with running a cat sanctuary. The ideal candidate has some veterinary training, is 45 or older, and can drive the cats to the vet in a manual-transmission car if necessary. The job also requires you to handle feral and/or non-sociable cats at times, so it's best if you have some "cat-whispering skills". (Source: Mental Floss)
Flubbed small talk
A reader writes: "I once wandered into a cycle shop in Britain looking for mudguards for my bike as I was tired of getting splashed with dirt from the back wheel. Once in the store I said to the shop keeper: 'Do you have any of those things that keep the whole street from coming up my bum?' He literally bit his lip and grimaced trying to contain his laughter while his assistant at another counter spat out the bite of the sandwich he had just had. I left red-faced and without mudguards."
Shocker of a moniker
What's the funniest name you've ever come across?
1. "I was at school with a Theresa Green (yes they are)."
2. "I vaguely knew a guy called Russell Sprout back in the 90s."
3. "A recruitment woman I dealt with was called Jean Pool."
4. "Dr Dick Feast - structural engineer, now deceased, absolutely insisted he could not be referred to as 'Richard'." (Via The Poke)