The main names have been changed to protect the innocent but you know who you are, writes Alan. "Grandson's Catholic baptism at 5 years of age created a bit of a situation for the youngish priest doing the honours.
"I baptise Maximus David Robert [family name] in the name of ... "
"Robot," corrects his mum, interjecting.
Priest hesitates trying to suppress his laughter. "Robot? Did he name himself?"
Mum replies: "His 9-year-old cousin did ... I mean, what little boy doesn't want to be called Robot?"
Unicorn inflates ocean rescue statistics
Instagram is filled with thousands of #inflatableunicorn pictures from foreign climes, while the England football team were photographed racing them in the hotel pool ahead of their game against Panama.
But the giant inflatable unicorns are proving less popular with coastguards after a woman was blown out to sea and had to be rescued from one of the world's busiest shipping lanes.
A helicopter was scrambled when the woman drifted into the Solent, a major shipping lane used by passenger, freight and military vessels. She was one of 15 people rescued along the south coast of England on Monday by the Maritime and Coastguard Agency after their inflatables, including a pink flamingo and a swan, veered off course.
The agency said rescue teams were also wasting time checking abandoned inflatables.
"Some of the inflatables were collected by our teams, some will have made their way over to France," it said.
Landscapers a bit potty
Following the item yesterday about the intern who loaded the still wrapped photocopy paper ... "Our local daycare employed landscapers to put in new gardens and were concerned a year later when a row of hedging plants did not flourish. When one was dug up to investigate, they found they'd been planted still in their pots."
Historic Paralympic scandal
In the 2000 Paralympics, 10 out of 12 players in Spain's ID Basketball team were non-disabled, who pretended to have intellectual disabilities. The scandal was exposed after the Paralympics, when one of the players was revealed to be an investigative journalist…
"How to Dad" humorously explains the differences between France and New Zealand.
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