Sideswipe: September 13: Carrot country Ohakune

Missing parcel inquiry infuriates

Andrew had a parcel he sent to China go missing in 2016. "NZ Post keep going round in circles with me in their investigation. The crux being, they will only investigate via the same method you used to send the item concerned - internationally is a different method from domestic. So because I posted an item, NZ Post will only investigate and try to verify the recipient's address via letter to the intended recipient. None of the NZ Post letters they are sending are getting through either. So surely this means something is wrong? NZ Post will not phone or fax, or accept him contacting them via email to say he is real, that it is the correct address, to verify non-receipt, and more importantly to document NZ Post paperwork, etc. They will only keep trying to send him letters. So I clarified with NZ Post that if I paid for an old-school telegram, and the recipient didn't get it ... They confirmed that they would only investigate the issue via telegram. Wowza!"

Bootleg booze on tap

"Many years ago I went to a three-day music festival, at which we camped," writes Gareth. "It was a booze-free event, however while we sat sipping our 'special cordial' we noticed the group opposite us would wander over to their ute. One would stand casually at the front bumper, the other open the driver's door. There'd be a short hum, then they'd return to their camp. This happened with regularity before we worked out what was going on. To smuggle their booze in they'd cleaned out the window washer reservoir, filled it with bourbon, and rerouted the hose out to the front grille. To top up one would hold their cup under the hose, the other activate the window washer lever on the steering wheel column for bourbon on tap!"

Bootleg booze revisited

"Arriving at the Police concert in the 80s, a friend of ours, Jerry, had a winning way of sneaking it in," writes Shelly. "He was disabled, walking with a very noticeable gait... one leg not working like the other. When on the grog, he always required one crutch ... He'd worked out if he took the filled balloon out of a wine casket, and tucked it up the back of his trenchcoat (the Dexys Midnight Runners fashion then), it made him look like a hunchback. How many security guards want to pat down a disabled man's hunch? Entered ... one full casket of cheap plonk."