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Opinion
Home / Entertainment

Sideswipe: September 12: When flowers just aren't enough

Ana Samways
Opinion by
Ana Samways
Sideswipe - ana.samways@nzherald.co.nz·NZ Herald·
11 Sep, 2017 05:00 PM3 mins to read

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When flowers just aren't enough, send some cash to really seal the deal. This bouquet of roses includes 24 roses each individually wrapped in $50 notes, created by Roma Blooms.

When flowers just aren't enough, send some cash to really seal the deal. This bouquet of roses includes 24 roses each individually wrapped in $50 notes, created by Roma Blooms.

Buried Booze No1

"The concept of burying supplies of alcohol for later consumption isn't new," writes Roger from Taupo. "Way back in the 1950s, when compulsory military training was in vogue, at Hunterville there were conscripts who trained at Waiouru. Some of the local lads decided to re-position essential crates of beer and bury them outside the camp fence beside SH1, where they could be easily accessed.

"Pondering that memory reminds me of another ... At one of the regular dances in the Hunterville area around the same time a small group gathered outside for refreshment. Unnoticed was the local traffic cop, who had parked down the road. He walked along and asked each one at the gathering if the opened crate of beer was theirs. All denied ownership - because drinking outside a public gathering was an offence. So the cop said, 'Well, if it belongs to no one I might as well have it'. He drove his car up, loaded the crate in his boot, and left."

Buried Booze No 2

"My friends and I did this for many years in Auckland in the late 80s and 90s," writes Doug. "We used to sneak in two weeks before a big gig and bury a few bottles of bourbon or rum. We never shared the secret for obvious reasons, but as I no longer need to consume that much alcohol at concerts, it's time to brag a little. Western Springs was always the easiest as there were pine trees at the back and access was simple via private properties and over the wall. The Stones concert in '95 was especially fun to do, as they had a Colditz-style security spotlight going around and around, so we had to act like escaping prisoners and lay flat every cycle of the light. Mt Smart was trickier. We used to use the concrete block scoria-filled retaining wall and count the blocks, but sometimes the hidden grog ended up inside special areas, so diversion scenes had to be made to get us in. Other concert goers just couldn't understand how we did it. We thought we were legends."

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Sexist humour from the 80s! A bbq grill plate found in a Whangarei op shop.
Sexist humour from the 80s! A bbq grill plate found in a Whangarei op shop.

Is nowhere free of criticism?

Miss Texas was asked if Trump handled Charlottesville badly. She replied with this.

It's a sign

The deaf weren't heard by TVNZ over the lack of a sign language interpreter for their leaders debate this week, which is just undemocratic...But this guy would liven up any Labour vs National talk fest. According to "facial expressions are exaggerated in order to clearly convey the emotion and tone of the speaker. You see a lot of interpreters with exaggerated expressions while they are signing. Facial expressions are an integral part of the grammar of ASL. They can completely change the meaning of a sentence."

Why is Tem riding a cow?

Well it's for a Vodafone thing, but it's a really cool idea to teach Google Maps how to correctly pronounce Maori place names, so do what Tem says...

Got a Sideswipe? Send your pictures, links and anecdotes to Ana at ana.samways@nzherald.co.nz

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