Spotted at the Arrowtown Autumn Festival. (Via

Gold-plated plumbing

"It's not just taxi fares that are a rort," says Chris. "How about plumbers? Monday night, 9pm at home in Meadowbank, we trace the dull roar in the house to a ruptured hot water hose in the ceiling of the garage below the house. The electric sockets are being sprayed, the garage workshop is flooded and the floor is 4 inches deep in water. Emergency call to a plumbing outfit elicits a very grumpy response. Not only will there be a $180 call-out fee, but we will be charged $50 per 15 minutes, the charges starting from the time he leaves his home (45-60 minutes away), until he drives back on to his property. We shut off the mains, dispensed with showers and hot drinks and got a local plumber round in the morning."

Keep off the grass, please, or else ...


A reader writes: "In Porto, Portugal, there were 'no standing on the grass' signs in the parks. My father never has liked being told what to do so he decided to stand on the grass to see what would happen. Nek minnit two security guards appear and let him know in no uncertain terms that it really is not okay to stand on the grass. We couldn't understand the Portuguese but the semi-automatics pointed at him made the point well."

Unexpected hazard on motorway

"Since when is it ever appropriate to dump a large shopping bag full of vomit on a busy motorway fast lane in rush hour traffic?" asks David. "At 8am Wednesday morning, northbound on the southern before Khyber Pass. Yes driver ... many cars have video cameras now, and yes I filed a police and council report. Oh, and you also owe me a carwash."

Coleslaw bandits on the loose

Police are hunting for thieves who made off with 42kg of mayonnaise from a business in South Australia. Two 21kg tubs of the condiment disappeared from a refrigerated warehouse in Whyalla, north of Adelaide. Officers say they are puzzled about why anyone would want to take 42kg of mayonnaise. They issued an urgent media alert asking anyone hearing of people making large quantities of coleslaw or potato salad to call the cops.

See you there

NZ Film: 'What We Do in the Shadows' is a New Zealand comedy about three vampire flatmates coping with the modern world. Directed by Jemaine Clement (Flight of the Conchords) & Taika Waititi (Boy) it looks bloody good...

NZ Herald app users click here for today's video.

Got a Sideswipe? Send your pictures, links and anecdotes to Ana at