He ate my bloody prawns!
Comedian David Baddiel wonders what were the real reasons why people broke up with exes (as opposed to reasons given at the time) and these were the confessions:
1. I once broke up with a man because he tiptoed gingerly over a puddle.
2. I knew someone who broke up with his girlfriend as he didn't like the view from her kitchen window.
3. My ex ate food off my plate in a restaurant and when I remonstrated with him said, "Well I paid for it". That was it — he was gone. He ate