Nobody likes the voice of reason if it means you're being the fun police.
So get your rotten fruit ready to hurl in this direction because it's time we addressed the public availability of fireworks.
Not public displays, they're fine. But fireworks sold to the public to let off in their backyards from now and, most infuriatingly, most weekends throughout summer.
Firefighters attended 56 fires nationwide caused by fireworks last weekend — and November 5 had not even arrived at that point.
Today, we will no doubt learn of more incidents around the country after Kiwis have had cracker night.
Every year somebody is badly burned, fires are started and countless numbers of pets are terrorised. Many go missing. Some never come home.
Every year is the same.
Opposition to readily available fireworks has grown steadily in recent years. Many people are ready for new legislation and a change to controlled displays only.
It will take a politician with a moral backbone to change the law. Sadly all seem shackled by the need to remain popular in the hope of re-election.
But that's what leadership is about — making often unpopular decisions. It should be part of the job description.
As for the fireworks manufacturer who reckons we Kiwis should train our pets to love fireworks – well, I think we all know how realistic that suggestion is.
If you are lucky enough not to live in a neighbourhood with serial firework nuts letting rockets off all summer, perhaps you will not understand the angst they cause those who live in those neighbourhoods.
Kids trying to get off the sleep, removing the debris from your property in the morning, hoping your house is not one of the ones to go up in flames.
We love fireworks because they are fun. Any links to Guy Fawkes and his plot to blow up the British Parliament have long ceased to be anything than an excuse to party.
So how about we pick a new day – a New Zealand day – to celebrate with fireworks. And have those at public displays where safety is taken care of.
And the fireworks are bigger, too — and often choreographed to music. Way more fun.
Of course, that means Whanganui will need to re-think why it does not hold a public display any more, although Oceanview Speedway has partly filled that gap.
But all the time fireworks are available for general sale is not helping.
Please peel the bananas, they're softer when they hit.