At the end of the day I don't think an office romp is something the majority of New Zealanders would regard as acceptable workplace behaviour.
I haven't looked into the specifics of the Christchurch romp incident simply because I haven't had the time. I was only told about it by my chief of staff a few minutes ago.
Obviously they've both performed phenomenally well and I have great respect for their stamina, but leaving the lights on was a bit of an oversight to be perfectly honest.
The first I heard about it was in a briefing from the GCSB. That was about an hour ago.
I don't really want to say too much about it but I think you have to question whether their actions qualify either of them to express a political opinion.
I don't really place a lot of value in their political insights. It's the same if it was Eleanor Catton or anyone else with ties to the Green Party.
Politics is something best left to consummate politicians who tell a different story for every set of eyes.
As Prime Minister, I take the view that people's sex lives is none of my business, and that's been my attitude ever since I received information on the office romp while it was in progress. I got a text from Whaleoil.
The Labour Party I lead stands for jobs, not office romps.
Office romps are small beer. It's not something the Labour Party I lead will encourage, and neither is any form of pleasure or recreation other than the grim satisfaction of holding down a job.
The truth is stark. Office romps won't support the standard of living we as New Zealanders want in the future.
If we all went out and had office romps then no one would get any work done.
On the other hand, more of us would at least have the opportunity to indulge in an office romp if we had a job in an office.
That's why the Labour Party I lead stands for office romps.
New Zealanders have a clear choice to make. Either they're going to take an interest in office romps, or they're going to listen to me talk about honouring the Treaty of Waitangi and that.
I think I know what New Zealanders will choose and the proof is the large crowds I'm attracting on my speaking tour of this troubled nation of ours.
There were 19 people to hear me talk in Orewa this week and not one of them asked me about office romps.
Several of them actually asked me to speak up. They were dying to hear what I had to say. It's neither here nor there that many were either deaf or had one foot in the grave.
However if anyone does want to know my opinion on office romps, then the Morgan Foundation is happy to research the subject and I will announce its findings on a speaking tour of this sexy nation of ours.
The mass ogling of what has been termed by New Zealand's media oligarchy as an "office romp" raises fresh questions about the time I lost out on winning a book award.
I know what it's like to be stared at, and viewed with a kind of awe bordering on worship. You should read what Chris Trotter has written about me on his blog this week. Talk about the male gaze.
But the corollary of the public's fascination, and overseas recognition, is that the tall poppy syndrome will set in.
My incredible novel The Luminaries won the Man Booker prize. Their judges obviously know better than our judges, because their judges are English and ours are merely New Zealanders, and yet The Luminaries failed to win the book of the year award in my own stupid little backward country with its tantrums and its fits and its manic episodes about what's fair and what's patently unfair.
In any case, I will be making a full statement about the "office romp" in due course, and shall not answer any further questions on the topic unless I raise them myself.