Writing helps mother to cope with loss

By LOUISA CLEAVE

When Hua Dai woke up from a month-long coma she sent a text to her 10-year-old son, asking him to visit her in hospital.

She did not know at that stage that Wonder had died while she lay unconscious.

A savage attack by her estranged husband last September had left them both fighting for life in Auckland Hospital.

"I said [to the nurses] I missed my son so much, will he come to visit me in the hospital? One night I sent him a text on the cellphone ... saying 'please come to see me, I miss you so much Wonder'.

"Then I asked for the nurse to give me a phone so I can ring my son and ask him to come and visit me. They were panicked so had a meeting with the doctors and social workers and decided to tell me the truth."

When she was told Wonder had died, Ms Dai said, "It was like my heart was in the centre of the ocean, and the news started from the edge of the water.

"When the waves bring the news to my heart it just softly touched my heart instead of hurting me."

She remembers her son by the name Wonder, though in the first reports of his death he was called Wenda. Ms Dai says that Wenda is the Chinese translation of Wonder.

Police feared Ms Dai would not survive her injuries but she amazed them with her recovery, which included learning to walk again.

"I think mainly it's the drive of life in me that made the effort, that moved me forward," she says.

Today she lives alone and immerses herself in writing poetry and a book to cope with the traumatic events.

Zhen Huan Li has admitted murdering Wonder and attempting to murder Ms Dai. He will be sentenced on Friday.

During his trial, Li said he deeply resented Ms Dai for withdrawing her support for his New Zealand residency application.

A few days before the attack he told a member of his church how he had abandoned a plan to beat Wonder to death with a table leg in front of his mother and, when she phoned the police, to kill her.

But he went ahead with the murderous plan.

Ms Dai said in evidence that she was on the phone to a friend when Li called out to her from behind to turn around. He was blocking the exit to the stairs and holding a table leg above Wonder.

Ms Dai told the court she did not want to say anything, or plead or cry, and turned away.

She remembered Li hitting her once very hard on the back of the head, but the Crown said Li inflicted several blows with the weapon.

She fell to the floor and drifted in and out of consciousness. Ms Dai says she did not see Wonder being attacked but heard him cry out.

She decided to speak about her son's murder after the death of Coral Burrows in Featherston.

Until now, she has poured out her grief on paper and discussed the trauma only with counsellors, police and friends.

"Another child had got hurt and I cried for her. And for a long time I hadn't cried. But that day I cried.

"I want to say a child is so precious to us. They are dependent on us and they are entrusted to us. They are not our belongings or possessions. They are beautiful souls entrusted to us. So we are going to look after them."

Ms Dai is working as a volunteer for Coastal Care and learning about nature, a world away from the academic career where she worked as an English tutor.

She received a scholarship to study for her doctorate at Auckland University before the attack, and expects to return to study at some stage. "The scholarship is still available but I need a lot of rest. I'm very tired and get fatigued easily."

Ms Dai describes Wonder as her "joy, my everything" and she is determined to "learn all the lessons I need to learn" from his death.

She wears a kakapo brooch he bought her and says he taught her about native trees like the pohutukawa.

She wants to publish a book of her poems and one about her life, and will use money she saved for Wonder's education if necessary.

Ms Dai says she felt like a slave in the marriage to Li.

He had contacted her in the late 1980s after reading a poem she had published in an Army newsletter.

Li married a girlfriend in 1990 and Ms Dai married Zhi Hong Zeng, with whom she had Wonder in 1991. The marriage ended in 1996.

Li made contact with Ms Dai, who moved to Sydney and graduated as a top MA student. Back in China, Li divorced his wife and in February 2000 he and Ms Dai married.

"He was very bad to me ... He just wanted me to make money and have no joy in life."

Ms Dai says Li was not interested in the marriage. He wanted residency and used the union as a disguise. "I did not want to cheat on my own heart, nor the system. I withdrew my support."

She says Li visited China and told her mother he wanted to kill Ms Dai.

Her mother wanted her to stop Li returning to NZ but she thought it was unfair to not give him a chance.

"I did not know it was a chance for him to murder."

Ms Dai says she is not angry at Li and does not have any feelings about his sentence. "He will get what he deserves and that will come from the nature or the universe, or God or the divine, or society. Not me."