She was now wheelchair-bound with paralysis in each leg.
Jarman said she was 98%paralysed in her right leg and about 65% paralysed in her left leg. She now had to wear a colostomy bag to compensate for the lost function of her bowel and bladder, and no longer had any feeling around her pelvic area.
Tracy Jarman has strived to find a way through grief and depression after her life was turned upside down four years ago when she emerged paralysed from her fifth surgery for spinal cysts. Photo / Mike Scott
The grief and despair had only recently started to fade, as Jarman learned to grasp at straws of hope, including her wish for accountability.
The private hospital where the surgery took place said it could not comment on any ongoing investigations by the Health and Disability Commissioner.
“Moreover, we take our privacy obligations towards patients very seriously and, therefore, cannot comment on any matters related to our patients,” a spokesperson told NZME.
‘I’ve really struggled’
Jarman said her worst moments, physically trapped in a body that no longer worked as it once did, made her feel terrified and alone, like a goldfish thrown into a vast ocean.
“I’ve struggled - I’ve really struggled with grief. It’s like I’ve lost the life I had and I’ve had to try and readjust to this new norm and it’s been really, really hard, especially when I’ve always been so active.”
She said her family had also struggled to come to terms with a mum and a nana no longer able to do the things she always had.
Jarman said she was grateful for the love and support of her understanding husband, and her wider family of children and grandchildren who had rallied to adapt to what had been a cataclysmic change.
The first signs of a problem in her spine emerged in 2012.
“Basically, I had cysts growing in my lumbar spine.
“It happens just randomly, and the only way really to stop any pressure on the spinal cord was to remove those cysts, or fuse those bones so they didn’t grow back again,” Jarman said.
She went in for procedures known as laminectomy and discectomy to relieve pressure on the nerves and spinal cord.
Jarman said the same surgeon had operated four times previously on her lower-level spine.
She was anaesthetised for what she said should have been a four to five-hour operation but, allegedly, ended up much longer.
She came around in the intensive care unit and was then transferred to a high-dependency unit.
Jarman claimed she told the surgeon the next morning that she couldn’t feel anything and “things weren’t right”.
She has obtained her medical notes that record the conversation that transpired, and alleged she was told her concerns were “anxiety related”.
Jarman said the grief she now suffered stemmed partly from thinking there was a chance the situation might have been reversed, if action had been taken sooner.
Her symptoms turned out to be what she said were crushed cauda equina nerves, which send and receive messages to and from the lower limbs and pelvic organs.
The condition was described in medical literature as occurring during lumbar decompressive surgery and while it was a relatively rare complication, it had “severe consequences”, including lower back pain, sciatica, loss of sensation in the perineum, lower limb paralysis, and bowel/bladder incontinence.
Medical literature suggested that quick surgical treatment may prevent permanent complications.
Tracy Jarman was left wheelchair-bound after spinal surgery. Photo / Mike Scott
“If the surgeon goes back in and releases them [nerves], you’ve got a chance of being 80% better off,” Jarman said.
An MRI was performed but Jarman alleged that specialists struggled to see anything because of the swelling and scar tissue from the previous operations.
Farewell to the life she knew
Jarman has bid farewell to the life she knew, which revolved around a busy career as a chief financial officer for a specialist poultry enhancement importer firm.
“I was a runner, a gymnast, a tennis player – anything and everything.
“I was still doing duathlons and triathlons. I was running right up until this operation.”
Jarman said she strived to accept her situation but, despite her strong will, there were some very dark times, including a phase of not wanting to live.
“I didn’t realise that I’d actually locked myself into that position.
“The struggle was worse because I couldn’t understand how I’d got myself into that position.”
She said for the first two years, she hoped for some form of recovery, and then realised it was not happening.
Despite the prognosis of likely further deterioration, Jarman had chosen to shove that aside and focus on her options, including one that involved fitting a mechanical leg.
She was also grateful to ACC, which had provided her with some independence through the provision of wheelchairs and a van.
“ACC has looked after me because I was on a very large income. I’m still getting 80% of it, but that will stop when I hit 65.
“I guess I was sort of a little bit lucky that this happened when we were in a later part of our life, that we’d established ourselves, but you’ve still got to watch the pennies.”
The wheelchair has in a small way allowed Jarman to relive a shred of her former sporting life. She has taken up hand cycling with an “add-on” attached to the front of her wheelchair.
Tracy Jarman on an outing in Auckland with her grandchildren before she was left paralysed. Photo / Tracy Jarman
It was a small step out of the darkness, she said.
“It’s taken four years for me to get to where I want to be in respect of grief and everything else, and going through the whole tragedy.
‘A new way of life’
Jarman’s complaint to the HDC has helped her to process what’s happened because of the amount of research required in forming the statement.
In her search for new opportunities, Jarman had found a “few bright spots” including that she had taken up offering peer support for people in the spinal unit.
“So from my tragedy, I’m able to help others.”
“I just have to keep striving for those positives. And one of the biggest positives is that I can help other people transition to a new way of life.”
She knew the value of this, having been largely isolated by Covid and the associated lockdowns during her physical and emotional recovery.
Jarman was also studying for a degree in health and wellbeing, majoring in disabilities, while at the same time challenging ACC to fund medicinal cannabis.
She found that it offered “significantly better relief” from symptoms than other forms of prescription drugs she said “turned her into a zombie”.
Jarman said medicinal cannabis left her with no brain fog, no issues with sleeping, and meant she woke in the morning with more energy when previously she had not wanted to get out of bed.
“I lost a lot of my life over that time of taking those drugs, so I came off them and went on to medicinal cannabis but you’re looking at $500 every six weeks.”
Jarman’s bid to ACC for funding to cover the cost of the cannabidiol products, including CBD and THC, was rejected, and a review of that decision has also been dismissed.
ACC told NZME that applications for cover for medicinal cannabis were handled on a “case-by-case basis”.
In Jarman’s case, the reviewer concluded the medical information presented in support of Jarman’s application for funding was lacking in some areas; therefore she was not satisfied the cannabis products were necessary and appropriate.
But neither was it the end of the road for Jarman. The reviewer said further pain relief options, if any were available, would be investigated and the outcome reported to ACC.
“Further information in support of the funding request will be considered,” the reviewer said.
Tracy Neal is a Nelson-based Open Justice reporter at NZME. She was previously RNZ’s regional reporter in Nelson-Marlborough and has covered general news, including court and local government for the Nelson Mail.
