One's first alphabet. (Source: KK Outlet)
When push comes to shove ...
A reader writes: "I parked the car outside the gym, locked the door and then watched it roll slowly across the Westgate car park towards a row of cars because I forgot to put the handbrake on properly. I madly started pushing the electronic key and yelling expletives - but I kept locking it in my panic - then I swung around and pushed against the front of the car and guided it to a gentle rest against the front tyre of a Toyota 4WD. I calmly unlocked it, got in and reversed into my space. All the muscle men in the gym gave me a round of applause when I walked in."
Seeing the light does driver no good
Brian writes: " I am driving to work at 4am, hardly any cars on the road, in south Auckland and I'm stopped at lights with a straight through green but I have a red arrow turning right. I wait for ages, so common sense prevails and when there's not a car in sight I turn right on a red arrow, but a police unit sees me, pulls me over all lights flashing and I get a $150 ticket. I can attest that a ticket does change your driving behaviour. Within five minutes, at another set of lights, I stop for a left turning orange arrow and the car behind me goes up my bum and abuses me for stopping suddenly when no cars on the road. Go figure."
Something fishy about this review
Wagga Wagga resident Jeremy Sear was browsing DVDs at a JB Hi-Fi store when he spotted a review of Finding Nemo by a staff member. It read: "Like the movie Taken? Check this out! This dude's family is slaughtered by serial killers, leaving only his disabled son alive who then gets kidnapped! So the dude has to travel a great distance with a senile female in a quest to reclaim his son. Finding Nemo is a brutal story of love, family and friendship."
Not quite as it sounds
Browsing holidayhouses.co.nz for some accommodation at Mt Maunganui, Mike found an ad for a Bayfair holiday beach house. It reads: "This is a house nestled on a cutler sack street in the bayfair Mt Maunganui area."
By the left, quick ghost
Aaron Kennaway says he was in the NZ Army in the 1980s and often used the term ghosting to refer to someone avoiding work; often by walking around with a clip board (no one asked what you were up to). "Experts in ghosting were known as ninjas and those who were airborne and involved with ghosting were 'slip streaming'."
Picture this #1: Matta Napkin - a daily comic on a napkin.
Video: TV guy obviously doesn't have kids...
Video: Goat having dinner...
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