The English spin-doctor accused of conjuring tall tales of imaginary Iraqi weapons of mass destruction is at it again in our own backyard.
This time round, the touring Lions media witchdoctor, Alastair Campbell, has clearly "sexed up" New Zealand's apparent mass obsession with all things rugby.
In a column in
the Times newspaper, Campbell claimed the sport was to our fair land what water was to fish.
"You drive past the headquarters of Weet-Bix, 'the All Blacks' official breakfast'. You pick up newspapers in which rugby is on the front, back and middle pages.
"You get into your hotel, where the waiters, receptionists, cleaners and chefs want to talk rugby. You get into your room, where channel-hopping will usually guarantee rugby on about a third of the local channels available. On one, the Rugby Channel no less, you find a programme devoted entirely to discussing press coverage of the tour. On the Discovery Channel, repeats play of Lions internationals going back to the 1970s."
Campbell was gobsmacked to find one newspaper had issued a large picture of Lions coach Sir Clive Woodward at which readers were encouraged to fling 74 darts - "one for each prick in the Lions party".
Tony Blair's former henchman concluded: "This is a nation obsessed - there is no other word for it - with rugby."
He then lambasted the local media as the All Blacks' 16th man.
Any doubts cast on the tourists' true pedigree, such as former All Black coach Laurie Mains' claim they were the worst Lions squad in history, would only pump them up further while adding to the pressure on the home side, he said.
Still, Campbell all but admitted such a slant was his own creation, a cunning plan to keep dispirited British and Irish stiff upper lips from quivering.
"At least that is the spin, and provided that Clive and the players agree, that means it is spin with substance, which is the only spin that works."
Sports show presenter, Radio Live host and Wanganui Mayor Michael Laws was flabbergasted by Campbell's jibes.
He said anyone wanting to find true obsession needed only to look at how South Americans, the English and Italians treat their football.
"Whenever you mix the crowds at matches you had better have the ambulance ready," Laws said.
New Zealand's passion for rugby was on a par with that reserved for our wedding nights, he said.
"With the British and football, the wedding night is relegated to a distant second."
Radio Sport host Brendan Telfer said it appeared Campbell had headed south without doing much research on his destination.
"Did it take him a trip to New Zealand to discover rugby is our national game?"
He saw no basis for Campbell's hope that media scrutiny would rebound on the All Blacks.
"It's part of our ethos, that every man, woman and child is behind the All Blacks whenever they play."
Alastair Campbell
The English spin-doctor accused of conjuring tall tales of imaginary Iraqi weapons of mass destruction is at it again in our own backyard.
This time round, the touring Lions media witchdoctor, Alastair Campbell, has clearly "sexed up" New Zealand's apparent mass obsession with all things rugby.
In a column in
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