There's drunk and then there's so drunk you urinate in a police car after your arrest.
Mark Ian Cheney was jailed for six months for his fourth drink-driving conviction in 12 years when he appeared in the Dunedin District Court yesterday.
The defendant was stopped on the Owaka Highway in the early evening of June 30, after police had been alerted to his wayward driving, reports Otago Daily Times.
Cheney claimed to have consumed only two stubbies four hours earlier but his breath alcohol reading of 1148mcg - nearly six times the legal limit - belied that.
His conduct on the way to Balclutha police station also made his story less convincing.
The court heard Cheney wet himself in the front passenger seat of the police car, which meant it needed to be groomed by a professional cleaner.
Judge Michael Crosbie asked the defendant if he wanted to revise his estimate as to how much alcohol he consumed.
Cheney told him it may have been six or seven beers.
"Not that beer you get in Spain, that's got tequila in it, is it?" the judge asked.
"Somehow I think that is also a gross underestimate."
Cheney's explanation of his conduct to Probation was succinct.
"I f...ed up," he said.
The defendant explained how his children were living overseas and he would have "a few drinks" most nights.
Cheney confessed he would usually take a couple with him just to walk the dog.
The fact there was no injury or death attached to the defendant's driving conduct was down to good fortune, Judge Crosbie said.
"Essentially you're playing Russian roulette," he said.
Defence counsel Brendan Stephenson said Cheney had engaged with Alcoholics Anonymous since the June incident and his attitudes towards alcohol had changed.
His client claimed not to have had a drink since his arrest and Mr Stephenson argued a home detention sentence would be the appropriate outcome.
The judge disagreed.
"Enough's enough, Mr Cheney," he said.
The defendant was disqualified from driving for 28 days after which the alcohol-interlock protocols would apply.