The solution to the traffic problem lies in mass homeschooling. We can clear the air, the streets, the bullying, the cliques, the coolness and the pyschosocial hierarchy all at once. No more smog. No more screeching brakes. Just hermetic peace. In other words, parents need to become teachers.

Our traffic at this moment is a killer, a strength-sapper. The city of Auckland is very, very carsick. And it is primarily caused by to-ing and fro-ing our sons and daughters between the home and the school.

Auckland traffic woes second-worst in Australasia - only Sydney fares worse