NZ Herald
  • Home
  • Latest news
  • Herald NOW
  • Video
  • New Zealand
  • Sport
  • World
  • Business
  • Entertainment
  • Podcasts
  • Quizzes
  • Opinion
  • Lifestyle
  • Travel
  • Viva
  • Weather

Subscriptions

  • Herald Premium
  • Viva Premium
  • The Listener
  • BusinessDesk

Sections

  • Latest news
  • New Zealand
    • All New Zealand
    • Crime
    • Politics
    • Education
    • Open Justice
    • Scam Update
  • Herald NOW
  • On The Up
  • World
    • All World
    • Australia
    • Asia
    • UK
    • United States
    • Middle East
    • Europe
    • Pacific
  • Business
    • All Business
    • MarketsSharesCurrencyCommoditiesStock TakesCrypto
    • Markets with Madison
    • Media Insider
    • Business analysis
    • Personal financeKiwiSaverInterest ratesTaxInvestment
    • EconomyInflationGDPOfficial cash rateEmployment
    • Small business
    • Business reportsMood of the BoardroomProject AucklandSustainable business and financeCapital markets reportAgribusiness reportInfrastructure reportDynamic business
    • Deloitte Top 200 Awards
    • CompaniesAged CareAgribusinessAirlinesBanking and financeConstructionEnergyFreight and logisticsHealthcareManufacturingMedia and MarketingRetailTelecommunicationsTourism
  • Opinion
    • All Opinion
    • Analysis
    • Editorials
    • Business analysis
    • Premium opinion
    • Letters to the editor
  • Politics
  • Sport
    • All Sport
    • OlympicsParalympics
    • RugbySuper RugbyNPCAll BlacksBlack FernsRugby sevensSchool rugby
    • CricketBlack CapsWhite Ferns
    • Racing
    • NetballSilver Ferns
    • LeagueWarriorsNRL
    • FootballWellington PhoenixAuckland FCAll WhitesFootball FernsEnglish Premier League
    • GolfNZ Open
    • MotorsportFormula 1
    • Boxing
    • UFC
    • BasketballNBABreakersTall BlacksTall Ferns
    • Tennis
    • Cycling
    • Athletics
    • SailingAmerica's CupSailGP
    • Rowing
  • Lifestyle
    • All Lifestyle
    • Viva - Food, fashion & beauty
    • Society Insider
    • Royals
    • Sex & relationships
    • Food & drinkRecipesRecipe collectionsRestaurant reviewsRestaurant bookings
    • Health & wellbeing
    • Fashion & beauty
    • Pets & animals
    • The Selection - Shop the trendsShop fashionShop beautyShop entertainmentShop giftsShop home & living
    • Milford's Investing Place
  • Entertainment
    • All Entertainment
    • TV
    • MoviesMovie reviews
    • MusicMusic reviews
    • BooksBook reviews
    • Culture
    • ReviewsBook reviewsMovie reviewsMusic reviewsRestaurant reviews
  • Travel
    • All Travel
    • News
    • New ZealandNorthlandAucklandWellingtonCanterburyOtago / QueenstownNelson-TasmanBest NZ beaches
    • International travelAustraliaPacific IslandsEuropeUKUSAAfricaAsia
    • Rail holidays
    • Cruise holidays
    • Ski holidays
    • Luxury travel
    • Adventure travel
  • Kāhu Māori news
  • Environment
    • All Environment
    • Our Green Future
  • Talanoa Pacific news
  • Property
    • All Property
    • Property Insider
    • Interest rates tracker
    • Residential property listings
    • Commercial property listings
  • Health
  • Technology
    • All Technology
    • AI
    • Social media
  • Rural
    • All Rural
    • Dairy farming
    • Sheep & beef farming
    • Horticulture
    • Animal health
    • Rural business
    • Rural life
    • Rural technology
    • Opinion
    • Audio & podcasts
  • Weather forecasts
    • All Weather forecasts
    • Kaitaia
    • Whangārei
    • Dargaville
    • Auckland
    • Thames
    • Tauranga
    • Hamilton
    • Whakatāne
    • Rotorua
    • Tokoroa
    • Te Kuiti
    • Taumaranui
    • Taupō
    • Gisborne
    • New Plymouth
    • Napier
    • Hastings
    • Dannevirke
    • Whanganui
    • Palmerston North
    • Levin
    • Paraparaumu
    • Masterton
    • Wellington
    • Motueka
    • Nelson
    • Blenheim
    • Westport
    • Reefton
    • Kaikōura
    • Greymouth
    • Hokitika
    • Christchurch
    • Ashburton
    • Timaru
    • Wānaka
    • Oamaru
    • Queenstown
    • Dunedin
    • Gore
    • Invercargill
  • Meet the journalists
  • Promotions & competitions
  • OneRoof property listings
  • Driven car news

Puzzles & Quizzes

  • Puzzles
    • All Puzzles
    • Sudoku
    • Code Cracker
    • Crosswords
    • Cryptic crossword
    • Wordsearch
  • Quizzes
    • All Quizzes
    • Morning quiz
    • Afternoon quiz
    • Sports quiz

Regions

  • Northland
    • All Northland
    • Far North
    • Kaitaia
    • Kerikeri
    • Kaikohe
    • Bay of Islands
    • Whangarei
    • Dargaville
    • Kaipara
    • Mangawhai
  • Auckland
  • Waikato
    • All Waikato
    • Hamilton
    • Coromandel & Hauraki
    • Matamata & Piako
    • Cambridge
    • Te Awamutu
    • Tokoroa & South Waikato
    • Taupō & Tūrangi
  • Bay of Plenty
    • All Bay of Plenty
    • Katikati
    • Tauranga
    • Mount Maunganui
    • Pāpāmoa
    • Te Puke
    • Whakatāne
  • Rotorua
  • Hawke's Bay
    • All Hawke's Bay
    • Napier
    • Hastings
    • Havelock North
    • Central Hawke's Bay
    • Wairoa
  • Taranaki
    • All Taranaki
    • Stratford
    • New Plymouth
    • Hāwera
  • Manawatū - Whanganui
    • All Manawatū - Whanganui
    • Whanganui
    • Palmerston North
    • Manawatū
    • Tararua
    • Horowhenua
  • Wellington
    • All Wellington
    • Kapiti
    • Wairarapa
    • Upper Hutt
    • Lower Hutt
  • Nelson & Tasman
    • All Nelson & Tasman
    • Motueka
    • Nelson
    • Tasman
  • Marlborough
  • West Coast
  • Canterbury
    • All Canterbury
    • Kaikōura
    • Christchurch
    • Ashburton
    • Timaru
  • Otago
    • All Otago
    • Oamaru
    • Dunedin
    • Balclutha
    • Alexandra
    • Queenstown
    • Wanaka
  • Southland
    • All Southland
    • Invercargill
    • Gore
    • Stewart Island
  • Gisborne

Media

  • Video
    • All Video
    • NZ news video
    • Herald NOW
    • Business news video
    • Politics news video
    • Sport video
    • World news video
    • Lifestyle video
    • Entertainment video
    • Travel video
    • Markets with Madison
    • Kea Kids news
  • Podcasts
    • All Podcasts
    • The Front Page
    • On the Tiles
    • Ask me Anything
    • The Little Things
  • Cartoons
  • Photo galleries
  • Today's Paper - E-editions
  • Photo sales
  • Classifieds

NZME Network

  • Advertise with NZME
  • OneRoof
  • Driven Car Guide
  • BusinessDesk
  • Newstalk ZB
  • Sunlive
  • ZM
  • The Hits
  • Coast
  • Radio Hauraki
  • The Alternative Commentary Collective
  • Gold
  • Flava
  • iHeart Radio
  • Hokonui
  • Radio Wanaka
  • iHeartCountry New Zealand
  • Restaurant Hub
  • NZME Events

SubscribeSign In
Advertisement
Advertise with NZME.
Home / New Zealand

John Lapsley: Is Jacinda the Pink Princess or Red Queen?

Otago Daily Times
30 Oct, 2017 12:08 AM4 mins to read

Subscribe to listen

Access to Herald Premium articles require a Premium subscription. Subscribe now to listen.
Already a subscriber?  Sign in here

Listening to articles is free for open-access content—explore other articles or learn more about text-to-speech.
‌
Save

    Share this article

After being sworn in as the new PM, Jacinda Ardern gives a speech and addressess the public.
Opinion

Satirist John Lapsley, writing for the ODT, muses with his golf club mates on whether New Zealand's prime minister is "raving left or merely pinkish''.

We sages of the golf club put our brains to examining the political bent of our new prime minister.

The question was framed in scholarly, unbiased, terms.

"Jacinda Ardern: Is she Raving Left or Merely Pinkish?"

"I've a source inside the Labour Party who claims they're all worried," announced one of our better connected. "Jacinda's not the smiling moderate she seems. Behind all those teeth, she's left of Lenin."'

Advertisement
Advertise with NZME.
Advertisement
Advertise with NZME.

I raised an eyebrow, and questioned the quality of this "inside source". But it was impeccable - the bloke was so close to the centre of power, he'd worked on the team stuffing pamphlets in letterboxes.

"So what do we call her? Is Jacinda Ardern the Pink Princess, or the Red Queen?"'

They voted for Red Queen. How else do you categorise someone who only seven years ago was president of the Revolutionary Collective of Peasant Students? (Or perhaps it was the International Union of Socialist Scholars? It matters little. You have the flavour, and the taste is recent).

Advertisement
Advertise with NZME.

Reasonable people will shout that a Lapsley golfing group is a badly biased sample. They are correct. Shamefully, all these people are Old White Men, and belong to a club that is miserably unrepresentative of modern society. (This nest of neo conservatives hasn't yet set up a designated safe space. Women joke with men. No member is patched. The old-worldly committee insists that when keeping the score, life offers no Mulligans).

New Zealand politics has been so centrist there hasn't been a genuine Left versus Right battle since flared trousers. This will change now the Labour-NZ First coalition has announced itself in phraseology redolent of old class warfare.

"Capitalism has failed the people - so we're going to change it," was the thrust.

Our own media didn't seem greatly alarmed. But overseas, more than one outlet saw the rise of Ardern as some populist aberration akin to Trump and Brexit. Across the Tasman the country's quality newspaper, The Australian, ran an editorial titled "The Land of the Long Dark Cloud". It commented acidly: "For Ardern to use homelessness to try to litigate the broader argument that the nine highly successful years of capitalism under John Key's and Bill English's Centre Right National Party were a 'brazen failure,' reflects poorly on her".

"Using clapped out Corbynesque rhetoric to deride `capitalism' does little to inspire confidence in her political maturity or her L-plated Government's prospects,'' The Oz admonished.

Ouch.

Agree or disagree, the lesson for PM Ardern is that if you announce your goals using that type of rhetoric, then that is exactly the context in which the policy will be discussed.

This sets groups against groups. It suggests Comrade Socialist Good versus Sir Capitalist Swine. One wing begins muttering that capitalism is God's way of sorting out who's clever and who's a wee bit thick. The other calculates the cost of a mansion on Queenstown Hill is 48 times the price of a two-bunk garage in South Auckland - and by crikey, someone should have their en-suite confiscated.

We'll be looking at New Zealanders who've invested their nest egg in rental housing, and quoting the wisdom of Chairman Mao: "There is a serious tendency towards capitalism amongst the well-to-do peasants."

The housing problem is not the fault of capitalism. If building low-cost homes is unprofitable then, as lunch follows breakfast, capitalism doesn't do it. If the omens encourage housing speculation, then as spaghetti tops a Bill English pizza, mad money happens. It's up to governments, not capitalism and the market economy, to work the very many public policy levers that dicker with the affordability of the family castle. (And here National fumbled.)

Advertisement
Advertise with NZME.

Few will gnash their teeth over putting more cash in the hands of the working poor. But who stumps up? With National, big government was to do this by dramatically shrinking what it lifts from pay packets. Ardern's coalition has punted the cost across the street to capital - I mean employers large and small - who'll pay minimum wage increases that the new Government has set around four times the rate of inflation.

We know our leader has a smiling face - perhaps we're now discovering she has a tin ear for matters economic.

A conservative once remarked: "The trouble with socialism is that eventually it runs out of other people's money." That was the Iron Lady - the demonised Maggie Thatcher. I doubt the Red Queen would have time for her.

Satirist John Lapsley is an Arrowtown writer and former columnist for The Australian.

Save

    Share this article

Latest from New Zealand

New Zealand

'Serious-to-critical': Crash shuts SH1 in Northland, delays expected

06 Jul 08:48 AM
Crime

'No bad blood': Inmate apologises for shanking prison officer

06 Jul 08:00 AM
Wellington

'Exercise caution': Investigation into Kiwi's death in elephant attack

06 Jul 06:58 AM

There’s more to Hawai‘i than beaches and buffets – here’s how to see it differently

sponsored
Advertisement
Advertise with NZME.

Latest from New Zealand

'Serious-to-critical': Crash shuts SH1 in Northland, delays expected

'Serious-to-critical': Crash shuts SH1 in Northland, delays expected

06 Jul 08:48 AM

Emergency services were called to the scene about 7.45pm.

'No bad blood': Inmate apologises for shanking prison officer

'No bad blood': Inmate apologises for shanking prison officer

06 Jul 08:00 AM
'Exercise caution': Investigation into Kiwi's death in elephant attack

'Exercise caution': Investigation into Kiwi's death in elephant attack

06 Jul 06:58 AM
Police respond to assault at pool: One hospitalised, charges laid

Police respond to assault at pool: One hospitalised, charges laid

06 Jul 06:31 AM
From early mornings to easy living
sponsored

From early mornings to easy living

NZ Herald
  • About NZ Herald
  • Meet the journalists
  • Newsletters
  • Classifieds
  • Help & support
  • Contact us
  • House rules
  • Privacy Policy
  • Terms of use
  • Competition terms & conditions
  • Our use of AI
Subscriber Services
  • NZ Herald e-editions
  • Daily puzzles & quizzes
  • Manage your digital subscription
  • Manage your print subscription
  • Subscribe to the NZ Herald newspaper
  • Subscribe to Herald Premium
  • Gift a subscription
  • Subscriber FAQs
  • Subscription terms & conditions
  • Promotions and subscriber benefits
NZME Network
  • The New Zealand Herald
  • The Northland Age
  • The Northern Advocate
  • Waikato Herald
  • Bay of Plenty Times
  • Rotorua Daily Post
  • Hawke's Bay Today
  • Whanganui Chronicle
  • Viva
  • NZ Listener
  • Newstalk ZB
  • BusinessDesk
  • OneRoof
  • Driven Car Guide
  • iHeart Radio
  • Restaurant Hub
NZME
  • About NZME
  • NZME careers
  • Advertise with NZME
  • Digital self-service advertising
  • Book your classified ad
  • Photo sales
  • NZME Events
  • © Copyright 2025 NZME Publishing Limited
TOP