A serial dung-slinger who chucked manure at a sitting judge told police he did it because "these people talk s***, so they get s***".
There's also a lot to be bought in Mangere, where you can get a whole bag for $2, he said.
Sam Bracanov, 80, was today found guilty of assaulting Judge Anne Kiernan on March 10 when he threw a "dirt-like substance" at the bench after pulling it out of his right pocket.
This was not the first time the Yugoslav-born pensioner has slung dung, and he and the judge had history.
Last year, Judge Kiernan convicted Bracanov of throwing horse poo at John Banks, fined him $400 and ordered him to pay $130 in court costs.
At a judge-alone trial at Auckland District Court this afternoon, Bracanov told Judge Stan Thorburn he threw poo at Judge Kiernan because she didn't let him "say a few words" to Banks last year.
The court heard how Judge Kiernan was presiding in Courtroom 16 over an unrelated matter and the prosecution's three witnesses all said they saw an old man who had trouble walking slowly approach the bench.
Constable Nicole McCartney, who was sitting at the back of the courtroom, said Judge Kiernan seemed to recognise Bracanov and told him to stay back.
The 80-year-old then reached into his pocket with his right hand, the other still gripping a cane, pulled out a "dirt-like substance" and threw it at the judge.
McCartney said it looked like "a large amount" made it over the bench and some of it onto the judge's lap.
The registrar at the time, Victoria Hicks, said in her evidence Bracanov muttered something about Judge Kiernan being "that royal judge".
After the dung was slung, Hicks said there was "quite a mess to clean up" so the judge retired to her chambers while police officers in the courtroom apprehended Bracanov.
McCartney said she read him his bill of rights, confirmed he understood and asked him why he threw the manure.
He told her: "I have been waiting a year for this, one whole year. She deserves this, her and John Banks. She's not the people's judge, she's a fascist judge. She talks s*** so she gets s***."
The police officer then asked where he got the manure.
"My pocket and in Mangere. There's plenty, plenty of horse s*** there. You can also buy the whole or half bag for $2 or $1 but I only got half a bucket."
Bracanov, who represented himself, also gave evidence - but was asked by Judge Thorburn to empty his pockets before entering the witness box.
"You might throw something at me - I don't want you to get too close. That's a joke," the judge told him.
Out of his khaki green jacket, Bracanov pulled out a crumpled soda can and water bottle, another liquid container, paperwork, little scraps of metal, his keys and a hat.
After patting down his pockets and promising he would say "no bull" while testifying, Bracanov launched into an explanation more than five minutes long.
He told the court "we are all born tiny babies" who have "two outlets - brain and where you go to toilet".
He said people in power don't have the first, only the second - their bodies - and they had to wait their turn to be somebody special, like the rest of us.
"I say no, use your brain to be special - not just your body. I believe that respect has to be earned and not passed on."
When asked by Judge Thorburn why he threw manure at Judge Kiernan, Bracanov said it was because she didn't allow him to "say a few words" to Banks.
After he wrapped up, Judge Thorburn asked the pensioner if he felt he had let him talk today.
"Respect has to be earned, not passed on," he replied before launching into another rant.
To which Judge Thorburn interjected: "Yes, I've written that down three times."
Judge Thorburn said the "evidence was unequivocally clear" that Bracanov had assaulted Judge Kiernan by throwing manure at her and convicted him of common assault.
"My assessment of his evidence is that there has been no defence raised to the actions that have been described. Curiously, there is a very unusual level of utter transparency about Mr Bracanov."
Bracanov was remanded on bail until sentencing in November.