A burning question ... What does this picture mean? Snapped somewhere in Milford. And it's not toilets (there was no toilet nearby).

Don't look down, Lee

Intimate embellishment gone wrong: A beauty salon vajazzeled the wrong man's name in crystals across a woman's groin this week. Toni Allport of Walsall, West Midlands, decided to have her husband Lee's name written in Swarovski crystals along the bikini line. But after the 40-minute session she discovered the name Len written out. "Thankfully my husband saw the funny side. I'm confident it won't spoil the romantic break we've booked for my birthday. I've told Lee not to look at it."

Green-car solution


"Nine-year-old David had a good answer to understanding the new road rules," writes his dad. "He said we should get a green car because then everyone gives way to you."

Optometrists in for the long haul

Statistically speaking, a non-smoking optometrist who has sons is less likely to divorce. One partner smoking causes more discontent than differences over religion and are 76-95 per cent more likely to get divorced. Couples who both smoke are 53 per cent more likely than non-smoking couples to end their marriage. Optometrists, clergy and farmers have the lowest divorce rates (around 4 per cent) while massage therapists and mathematicians have the highest. Couples with sons are less likely to call it quits. A study of over 3 million couples found that having even one daughter increases a couple's chances of divorce, while having sons lessens them. "One theory is that men are more invested in raising sons and are therefore more likely to stick around." Source: Mental Floss.

Marmageddon on toast

Among the Marmite scalpers on Trade Me was someone selling it on toast, says Mike. It reads: "I smeared a bunch of it on a nice fresh piece of Tip Top super soft white toast bread ... Toaster was a $16 Zip from Briscoes, set on 4.5/6, gives a nice golden toast with even colouring. Also comes with butter under the Marmite [Pams pure butter]." Another has put up half a jar of a "rare" mammoth-sized jar of Marmite with a buy now of $1200. "This beautiful specimen was best before 30/11/06 - but it's still good!". Some are Trevor Mallard-ing it for profit. One seller says: "Why not try and make a buck or two? I have 3x175g jars for a home or cafe needing to ensure breakfast continuity through the Marmite famine of 2012."