Mum of Amberley fatal crash teen Burgundy-Rose Brown's message for other teens

After Burgundy-Rose Brown died, a teenage friend called the 16-year-old's mum.

Then another. And another.

Five weeks after her middle child died alongside her boyfriend of a few weeks, Dexter Barham, in a Nissan Silvia in North Canterbury, Anita Terrell's phone is still ringing.

She wants it to ring.

Burgundy-Rose Brown died a few weeks after her 16th birthday. Photo / Supplied

Terrell knows about new challenges - she's been a student, a nurse and a business owner, as well as raising three kids, latterly while losing their home in the 2011 Christchurch earthquake.

Now the daughter she heaped love and spontaneity and a sense of adventure on has given her another purpose.

"Out of Burgundy's passing, she's given me another job, and it's to look after and be there for the friends," Terrell says.

"Tell them the door's always open."

The role was so important her words at her daughter's funeral were equally for the living.

"It wasn't just all about Burgundy. There were about 700 at the funeral and there must've been 300 or 400 young people. I said they were loved, they were precious and delicately made, and someone is there for them.

"Ring me, I don't mind."

Anita Terrell, left, with her first-born daughter, Burgundy-Rose Brown. Photo / Supplied

The call could be for a safe ride home, or a chat. None had taken up the former, but some had called or messaged to talk.

She wanted all young people to hear her message that it was never too late to get out of a bad situation or decision.

"Go with your instincts. It doesn't have to end badly. You're in control and, if it's not right, your parents would rather have you home than having to deal with what I've had to."

Burgundy-Rose made lots of good decisions in her life — she gathered seeds from her sunflowers to sell for charity, she gave her pocket money to the homeless, she was studying hairdressing and she dreamed of being a flight attendant "because the world is calling me, Mum".

Last month, she made one wrong decision.

Burgundy-Rose Brown, right, with her sister Magenta when they were children. Photo / Supplied

The week before the crash, Burgundy-Rose asked Terrell if she could go with Dexter to pick-up a car in Nelson.

No, she was far too young, she was told.

"I gave her the worst possible outcome for this trip, and that's what I'm dealing with," Terrell said.

They'd always had an open and honest relationship, so Terrell doesn't know why her daughter went anyway, slipping away unnoticed as her mum worked.

But she's forgiven her daughter and had "absolutely no animosity" towards Dexter, who was at the wheel.

Dexter Barham's mangled Nissan Silvia at the scene of the crash. Photo / Broadcast Media NZ

Dexter, 16, and a learner driver, collided head-on with a Holden Colorado after crossing the centre line on State Highway 1, north of Amberley, about 6am on March 18.

Police - who said this week they're still investigating the crash - had told her all three teens in the car were wearing seatbelts and the car wasn't speeding, Terrell says.

Three other people were hurt in the crash, one critically.

She never got to meet Dexter, but her 19-year-old son, Trent, spoke highly of him.

"Our families have been connected now, through the loss of our children."

Dexter's parents didn't want to speak to the Herald.

Terrell's youngest child, Magenta, turned 14 the day after her sister's death.

Dexter Barham was at the wheel when the crash occurred. He also died at the scene. Photo / Supplied via Facebook

This week, Terrell spoke with two of the mums of teens killed in another Canterbury teen crash tragedy.

Cole Hull, Samuel Drost and Lily Moore, all 15, died after the 14-year-old driver of the car they were in crashed at speed on Boxing Day 2016.

She and Burgundy-Rose had spoken about the crash, but the teen was home sick when the trio's parents spoke at her school, Terrell says.

"I knew it was so important for her to hear. I remember thinking 'I want to go along'."

Terrell's most precious memory of Burgundy-Rose is her last, when she saw the teen after nipping home from work to grab a forgotten jacket.

"I gave her a hug and said 'I love you'. I hold onto that."

Sisters Magenta, left, and Burgundy-Rose Brown shared many adventures together and were close, their mum says. Photo / Supplied

Burgundy-Rose's bedroom remains untouched as her mother clings to memories of her.

As determined as she is to help other teens live long, full lives, she is also determined to keep living her own life, Terrell says.

"I have my sad moments and this new reality seems surreal at times, but I go back to the reality that Burgundy is not here and she would want us to keep living.

"She would want us to be happy."