Wellington Live owner Graham Bloxham dressed as a banana to speak to media. Photo / Marty Melville
Despite initially denying the posts were real, he later confirmed the arrest, saying the charge arose because he couldn’t pull over where he was driving.
We’re not really here to talk about the arrest, but that, followed by why he’s dressed as a potassium-rich fruit, are what I’m most interested in.
Bloxham has invited us to the City to Sea bridge by Wellington’s Civic Square for a media standup, though at this point, the photographer and I are the only ones to have shown up.
Another journalist and photographer meander up to the scene as banana-clad Bloxham prepares to speak, so we pivot from standup to individual interviews.
He is wearing a red cap with the words “make Wellington sane again” written on it in black vivid. This is also printed across the front of his banana peel.
A twisted lanyard around his neck bears a sign with the message: “A vote for Blox is a vote for common sense!?” A question or an exclamation? We may never know.
I start by asking about how Bloxham got his well-known tiny car back after being told it would be impounded for six months.
“They [police] filled in the wrong form. Bless. We all make mistakes, and they made a mistake; they admitted it. Said in good faith they would give it back, but it shouldn’t have happened,” he says.
“I think that the policeman did what he had to do. It was a bit over the top, but they’ve got a job to do.
“I think I learned a lesson there about calmness, about calming down. No hard feelings. Much aroha.”
When asked whether the arrest and criminal charge would impact his run for mayor, he agrees it would.
“I think it will sharpen people’s focus on what is happening in the city with crime ... I think half will possibly support me and the other half will want to cancel and be mean, but at least we’re having the discussions for Wellington.”
Mayoral candidate Graham Bloxham appeared to play hide and seek with the photographer. Photo / Melissa Nightingale
He declines to say what he intends to plead at his court date on May 29, but notes he got “a real tune-up from one of my daughters”.
“It’s not a great thing, it’s not something I’m proud of ... that’s in the courts and I’ll just face that on the 29th.”
On to the question of the hour: “Tell us about the banana suit,” I say.
The banana was foreshadowed. A photo texted to an NZME colleague by Bloxham showed him buying the costume earlier in the day to illustrate the point he is now trying to make.
He says Wellington is officially a banana republic. The term is used to refer to countries, often small ones, that are politically and economically unstable, exploited by foreign interests and typically reliant on a single major export, such as bananas.
I ask Bloxham what he believes makes Wellington fall into this category. He says “debt”.
“It’s in a quagmire, it’s just stuck. It’s also got nepotistic groups of politicians,” he says, adding the council needs to cut about 1000 staff members and, bearing mental health in mind, “support those thousand workers into other careers”.
In a now-deleted post by Graham Bloxham, he said he was handcuffed "so hard my wrists nearly bled". Photo / Facebook
I ask him what concrete things he wants to see happen in Wellington. He talks about land in Lyall Bay that Peter Jackson has bought, saying he is going to bring 500,000 people into Wellington.
I have heard nothing about this number but I – foolishly, perhaps – am not up to date on my Peter Jackson news, so I move swiftly on.
Bloxham says he wants to see Wellington bring “AI experts” in and become the “AI centre of the South Pacific”.
“I want to see Wellington start to believe in itself again. I want to see it lead again. It is a compact, biodiverse city that kicks arse.”
“You believe that you’re likely to win against Andrew Little?” I ask.
“Oh, I’ll clean the floor with him,” he says without hesitation, the picture of fruity confidence.
“He’s a very, very candid man. But let’s face it, the guy has got political ambitions; he’s never run a city, nor have I. Yes, he’s got connections and I love the fact that he brings that experience, but I just don’t think Wellington needs another Labour politician, and I definitely tell you now, Wellington does not need to be used in another political fight.”
Bloxham dismissed the other contenders, saying the race came down to him and Little.
At present, councillor Ray Chung, conservationist Kelvin Hastie, cafe owner Karl Tiefenbacher, and former councillor Rob Goulden also have their hats in the ring.
Mulling Bloxham’s assuredness that he will be the next ruler of this banana republic city, I find myself, somewhat unexpectedly, posing for a selfie with him before bidding farewell.
As I drive away, I spot the banana walking past me on the footpath, past the Wellington Police Station, and disappearing out of sight.
Melissa Nightingale is a Wellington-based reporter who covers crime, justice and news in the capital. She joined the Herald in 2016 and has worked as a journalist for 10 years.
