In the 1990s, North Island woman Eleanor was kidnapped by her own father. She speaks to Katie Harris about her six-month abduction and concerns she has for the Phillips children as they re-enter society.
The discovery of the Phillips children last month after 1358 days in the bush felt personal for North Island woman Eleanor.
“It’s been really rough.”
At age 2-and-a-half, she too was abducted by her father.
“I was one of those kids.”
Eleanor, who is now in her 30s and can’t be named for legal reasons, said she spent six months on the run with her father before he was forced to return her.
An old newspaper clipping a month after the toddler was taken contained a plea from her mother for the little girl’s return.
“We just want her back.”
While she was young, Eleanor recalls getting her ears pierced during this time, being at a farm and walking along a beach with her father.
After Eleanor was returned, she said she was taken into state care.
“This Tom Phillips stuff has stirred up a lot of emotion for me, and it’s probably not ever going to change.”
She worries about how the Phillips children will cope as they try to reintegrate into society.
“I’m scared for them, I really am.
“What do you say to someone who’s been through all that? ... I’d just give them a hug, tell them everything will be okay.”
Phillips managed to evade capture for almost four years, but was gunned down by police last month in Waikato after he shot a police officer.
He disappeared with the children from their farm in late 2021.
There were numerous sightings in the subsequent years, but despite this, Phillips remained at large.
Investigations are also under way into whether he received help from people to acquire firearms, different forms of transport and supplies.
Police Minister Mark Mitchell has labelled Phillips a “monster”, while police have condemned Phillips’ actions, saying he was not a hero.
Police warn that those who assisted the fugitive father over the past four years would be dealt with accordingly.
Now in her 30s, Eleanor’s family situation is complex, and her experience in state care has left her with lifelong trauma.
But she believes her childhood, and particularly the trauma from her experience in state care, has shaped her and given her strength.
“The person I have become now is because of all of it. I wouldn’t be the mother I am today if I hadn’t gone through that.”
Right now, she said, the Phillips children would be getting hundreds of questions from the authorities.
After four years in the bush, being back in civilisation and now in state care would be “terrifying for them”, Eleanor believed.
She hated to imagine how the children were feeling.
She felt the children should be given a chance to heal privately and overcome what they had been through.
“They don’t need people’s judgment or criticism; they need to be left alone.”
And she did not want to see the three children destroyed in the same way she was.
The recovery process was not black and white, she said.
“It’s actually really hard.”
Eleanor said she has an ongoing relationship with her father, who knew she was speaking to the Herald. She wanted to tell her story for the Phillips children’s sake.
To the children, she said: “You can do it, you just have to be strong.
“Children are resilient, you’d be surprised at what we can live through, and what they can live through. Because I was a child and I bounced back somehow. I survived and I’m here.”
Katie Harris is an Auckland-based journalist who covers issues such as sexual assault, workplace misconduct, media, crime and justice. She joined the Herald in 2020.
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