Jealousy led man to kill former partner

A man murdered his partner of 25 years before killing himself because he could not accept she had met someone else.

Denise Brame's family said that at lunch just over a week ago, she told Richard Barnham, 50, her ex-partner of 25 years, she was never coming back but was starting a new life with her new lover.

But it seems the news was too much for Barnham to take. That Friday night, as Brame, 41, told her mother she wouldn't return, Barnham made a final call to his sister who said her brother seemed fine.

"There was nothing there that would intimate what was about to happen," she told the Herald on Sunday.

The next day, said Brame's family, Barnham lured her to his house in Te Atatu, West Auckland, on the pretext of needing emotional help. When she arrived he strangled her to death. Moments later he went to the garage. The two bodies were found a couple of hours later. Police are not seeking anyone else in connection with the deaths.

"I think he was a very jealous person and he just couldn't accept that she left him," said Brame's aunt, Jean Jarvis.

Brame's parents, Dennis and Janice, lost their only other child, Terry, in a car accident 13 years ago.

The Brames are furious at Barnham. At their daughter's funeral on Thursday, he was described as a man who had destroyed her self-confidence. Her life changed when she met her new partner, whom she moved in with three months ago.

But Barnham's family said he was no monster. His sister, who did not want to be named, said the couple had been very close and were together "99 per cent of the time".

"They travelled overseas together, they travelled around New Zealand together and they went to concerts. They dined out a lot - all the things you would expect from a normal couple."

But when Brame left him he took it extremely badly and didn't tell his family for a long time. "Did it come as a complete shock to him? Absolutely,' said Barnham's sister.

Despite walking out, Brame still regularly saw Barnham - they would meet almost every Friday for lunch. It appears he hoped she would come back.

"It wasn't a clean split - they were still very close. This wasn't a case of 'I don't love you anymore I'm gone,"' said Barnham's sister.

That final lunch appears to be the moment he realised she had left him forever. His family, while deeply sympathetic to the Brames, see things differently.

"From the Brames' perspective he's the worst person in the world and I would think he's the worst person in the world if I was in their shoes. But he's not as bad as they would portray him."

Police spokesman Kevin Loughlin said the deaths were subject to a coroner's inquiry and police were unable to comment.