It's a love affair - with work

Your job can be an enriching part of your life instead of a daily grind. JULIE MIDDLETON reports.

You are probably doing at least 40 hours a week. You spend more time with colleagues than with your family. So you might as well enjoy it, right?

Don't groan. Ben Renshaw reckons even the most jaded and cynical can develop what he calls the joy of work - even the love (in the compassion/joy sense) of work.

As Englishman Renshaw says in his book Successful but Something Missing (Random House, $29.95), we have put the words "work" and "love" into separate compartments.

Language reflects that, too: the daily grind; golden handcuffs; "Oh no, oh no, it's off to work I go."

But the most successful people in life, says Renshaw, tell him that accompanying their ascent has been a genuine love of their work.

"What they do is an expression of their values, their beliefs, what they're about and what they stand for. Work is an extension of their lives."

The opposite? A nasty-sounding condition he dubs "role decay". That's what happens when you are at work but no one's home; you may know it as presenteeism.

"You are missing certain elements of your personality," says Renshaw. And that can allow the rot to set in.

Renshaw is a pedlar of change-inducing good vibes - a therapist, trainer and writer. He calls himself a "success coach" and has had American training in interpersonal relationships.

With business partner Robert Holden, he set up The Happiness Project, a multi-limbed talkfest of psychologists, coaches, ministers, business leaders, teachers, authors, poets and the like, all of whom can apparently inspire people to change with words alone.

The project gained headlines all over the world after it featured in a BBC documentary, How to be Happy.

Being happy and successful, says Renshaw, who was in New Zealand over the holiday season with his Kiwi wife, Veronica, and three-month-old India, is a state of mind rather than an achievement.

It needs to come from within rather than without.

"You've got to make the commitment; be willing to change your attitude," he says.

"What is the price you pay for being cynical? Vitality, enthusiasm, excitement. At the end of the day it will backfire on you."

Renshaw advises taking a good hard look at how you work, using the following filters: love (giving and getting); integrity (how straight up and down you are); compassion (caring for others); creativity (observing how to bring more of it to your job); service (the desire to help others); vision (dreams of possibilities); purpose (why do you do it?); appreciation (the valuing and recognition of others).

And finally, authenticity - as in how much you are yourself at work. In what Renshaw calls our current "relationship economy", where you buy a relationship as well as a product, it is assuming increasing importance.

"It comes back to priorities; that you're going to be yourself. You've got to be bold and do it. Most successful people have been willing to go out on a limb."

Associations with work, of course, are often negative, and Renshaw has identified the five most common mantras that can defeat people before they start.

They may sound familiar:

* The source of happiness in work lies outside myself.

* Work has to be hard, stressful, a struggle, even a sacrifice. (Bring out the birch twigs.)

* Your work defines who you are.

* The accumulation of money and financial survival are the major reasons for work.

* Competition and scarcity rule the workplace.

To pinpoint how you regard work, he suggests writing down 10 words that you associate with it.

"Since these beliefs create your current reality," Renshaw says, "outlining them is the first step in letting go of unhelpful conditioning."

He suggests you list what you enjoy about work, no matter how apparently trivial.

"When I ask this of audiences, there's a stunned silence. But there are many factors: a sense of belonging, your contribution, making a difference, gossip ... all the elements you enjoy but don't recognise as an important part of work."

Employers often fear that "encouraging a workforce to enjoy what they do will make them slack off and take their foot off the pedal".

Evidence runs against that, says Renshaw, citing a Sheffield University study that found a happy workforce is productive.

He suggests choosing an item on the "things I like about work" list every morning before you leave home for work.

"Think: 'I'm going to make this part of an agenda for the day.' That could be having five minutes for a good conversation - but you give yourself permission to do it.

"It's going to aid your productivity, make you feel more focused. That may require a shift in attitude where you will need to change your thinking." Renshaw suggests that programming in some fun is a good team exercise.

"What you're looking at is co-coaching ... to focus on the enjoyment factor."

He admits there can be obstacles to a change of heart, the most unhelpful of them ingrained cynicism.

"That comes about as a result of old wounds, when you've been burned before," he says. "You've become defensive but that cynicism doesn't help you.

"I often ask audiences how many of them were born a cynic. I'm yet to meet a cynical baby.

"Part of the natural state is to be optimistic. Cynicism is a learned behaviour - it's something you can change. It starts with decisions."

The "wait" problem, he says, is another block: "Waiting for things to get better."

Fear is another, "because we're in a culture of uncertainty".

"But living your life driven by fear prevents you from spotting opportunity."

Renshaw notes that career success is a journey, not a destination, and reckons that establishing criteria for enjoyment every day stops you getting hung up on the expanse of time until the weekend/new job/promotion/whatever. These are among his guidelines:

* Seeing every day as a new opportunity.

* Being kind to yourself.

* Touching the life of at least one person.

* Having the attitude of service within your work.

* Practising compassion.

* Committing to self-acceptance.

* Saying a genuine thank you to someone.

* Eating something delicious.

* Working to the best of your ability.

* Taking time for silence.

* Having some fun.

The list is, he says, very different from the one that was once his yardstick.

It was all about sweat and strain: achieving everything on his "to do" list, creating opportunities, pushing himself as hard as he could, and having a punishing workout in the gym. He has ditched that one, and reports he is a lot happier for it.

Happiness