That Guy: Grassroots wisdom from the kebab shop

Opinion

I have had a lot of readers' mail over the past couple of weeks, and although I don't get a chance to read most of it I certainly appreciate it, especially the letters from the solo mum in Takanini, who implied sexual favours could be up for grabs if I was ever in the neighbourhood or stuck in traffic by the Takanini off-ramp.

You must appreciate that, as a married man, in most cases I am unlikely to follow through with any such liaisons but, as Sean Connery once said, "never say never" and photos can certainly sway the decision either way. Had Tanya in Takanini not sent in those photos of herself, she may have been in with a chance.

The editor has just told me that as a direct result of my column last week a record amount of piano stools were for sale on Trade Me, and three of the largest piano tuning businesses have gone into receivership.

This was obviously a direct result of my credit crunch financial advice column in which I suggested that people could save money by tuning their own pianos rather than have a professional come in and do it, and by selling their piano stools as, in most cases, any old chair of an average height will do the job just as well.

As New Zealand's most-read columnist it is fantastic to be in a position to help, and to quite literally change people's lives.

It is a responsibility I don't take lightly, but I wouldn't go as far as to say I lose sleep over it.

I have been asked by the editor to offer some more financial advice this week but, to be honest, I would prefer to send it to you as a package in my audio tape series: The 12 steps to financial security and living with alcoholism.

The reason I prefer you to get the advice as a package is because each new piece of financial advice is just a small piece in the jigsaw puzzle.

Alone, snippets of advice can be useful but their real strength is when they are combined, as one package, with the teachings of the entire programme.

Much like a fitness programme, there are many factors, including exercise, that ultimately determine how successful it will be. There are no magic bullets when it comes to getting your finances in order.

However, if I was going to give a standalone piece of advice that would save money instantly it would be: do more illegal downloading of music and step up the video piracy.

Many people write asking questions like, "Hey, should I fix my mortgage? Should I fix my cat? And can I get away with wearing these corduroy loafer shoes to a wedding?"

Obviously I don't have all the answers but I have most of them, and you can be certain that if I don't know the answer I will give you the fax number of somebody who does.

Not all the questions are financial or footwear-related. On Tuesday a couple of people wrote and asked where they could get a good value-for-money kebab. Naturally I wrote straight back and said Eden Kebabs, of course, on Dominion Rd.

Admittedly, it is my local but it is my local only because I bought a house down the road after trying one of its lamb kebabs. You could probably say that I bought a house in a good kebab zone as opposed to school zone.

Eden Kebabs has recently refurbished its interior, so if you decide to eat in one of its booths the whole experience is that much more hygienic and pleasurable.

I was the official MC for the opening of the new booths and what a fantastic night it was.

Most kebab outlets will give you a choice of three sauces, but Eden Kebabs has gone a step further in offering four at no extra cost, and that seems to be the way it likes to do business.

It seems the business under-promises but over-delivers, and that is the kind of approach you need to take if you have any hope in hell of getting through this global credit crunch of massive proportions.

My kebab is just about ready, so I will leave it here. Have a good weekend.