Not only is Severe Acute Respiratory Syndrome (Sars) "severe", it's also "acute". Hang on, doesn't acute mean severe anyway? Is it because the alternative would be Acute Respiratory Syndrome (Ars)?
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So the Auckland Regional Council has come up with a solution to the problem of increasing demand for the city's buses: put the fares up. Well, here's a solution for the problem of rising council rates and declining council services: abolish the ARC. Maybe then we'd get rugby league back to its true home of Carlaw Park.
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Anyway, according to City Scene, the good news machine of Auckland City, there is no problem. In bold headlines on page one - "Clear bus lanes keep city's traffic flowing" - the spin-doctors say law-abiding drivers threatened with huge fines are keeping the bus lanes clear and giving the smoky beasts a head start and the chance to finally meet their timetables.
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Anchor were somewhat miffed when we had a dig at the 0800 What's Up youth counselling service advertised on cartons of Meadow Fresh (formerly Tararua) milk. Letters and emails arrived to advise that Anchor, not "that other brand", set up the service for youngsters wanting someone to listen. Trouble is, the latest Anchor cartons we've seen make no mention of it. The number (0800 942-878) still works, though.
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People whose views on how to run New Zealand's electricity system should be taken with more than a grain of salt: Max Bradford, John Luxton, Doug Kidd, David Caygill, Richard Prebble, Graham Scott, Mike Lear, David Butcher, Bill Birch, Terrence Currie, Jim McLay, Doug Heffernan, Keith Turner, John Belgrave, Mike Underhill, Ralph Matthes, whoever's speaking for Comalco, anyone from Mercury Energy, Greenpeace or Coal Corporation, David Russell, Barrie Leay, Rod Deane, Phil Pryke, Paul Anthony, Drew Stein and, now, Pete Hodgson. Funny how many of them still have plenty to say on the subject. Will the fixit gang of Michael Cullen, Jim Anderton and Helen Clark avoid that list? Don't count on it.
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