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On International Women’s Day - and in support of Hawke’s Bay Today’s “Out of the Shadows” fundraising campaign - Mitchell Hageman hears first-hand from someone who has used the vital services of Hawke’s Bay Women’s Refuge.
Hawke’s Bay client *Cindy explains her journey from darkness to light and shares a powerful message about why women shouldn’t just be celebrated and supported on March 8.
WARNING: This article discusses domestic violence
*Cindy was “scared as hell” when she rang Hawke’s Bay Women’s Refuge for the first time.
Like thousands of others who suffer in silence across the region, she’d been a victim of domestic violence for years and endlessly felt like there was no escape.
Her worry soon turned to relief when she was escorted to one of the Women’s Refuge safehouses, a key source of support that the agency uses to help those fleeing volatile situations.
“They got us into the safehouse in Hastings; my children and I walked in with a single bag each of clothing,” Cindy recalls.
She was greeted with an environment unfamiliar to her and her children.
“The house was warm and felt homely. We felt safe for the first time in a long time.”
*Cindy believes events like International Women's Day could put a spotlight on the amazing work done by Women's Refuge in Hawke's Bay. Photo / Hawke's Bay Women's Refuge
It was six months of security in the safehouse before eventually being moved to “Triple S” (Safe Secure Short-term accommodation).
Women’s Refuge accommodated all of this and offered wrap-around support services for Cindy and her whanau.
“They were amazing. They gave me emotional support and financial support by helping us with things like kai and clothing.
“They are consistent, and the communication is great.”
She described the Women’s Refuge staff as “like a new family” for her and her kids, saying they are now thriving thanks to making that one phone call.
“Once you make that first step, the caring and love are amazing. It’s so important because being able to make that first step is huge.
“You feel like there is a better future for you and your babies.”
Her advice for those struggling was, most importantly, to make that first call and reach out.
“There is help out there, and it’s not just temporary, it’s for life.”
For International Women’s Day, Cindy said there was no better way to show ongoing support than to help Women’s Refuge, an organisation that doesn’t just support women, on March 8.
This year’s theme is “Inspire Inclusion‚” and Cindy said it is about highlighting the excellent work of those at Women’s Refuge.
“It promotes Women’s Refuge and the support systems that are out there. To be able to be seen and read about puts that seed in a woman’s mind, when they are so vulnerable, and when they need it the most, that thought comes forward.
*Cindy spent time in one of Hawke's Bay Women's Refuge's safehouses after fleeing from a severe family violence situation. Photo / Getty Images
“Out of the Shadows, that just says it all.”
*Name has been changed.
Hawke’s Bay Today is partnering with Women’s Refuge in Hawke’s Bay to help it build a new public office to move the organisation out of the shadows and into the spotlight.
How to donate
QR code - Train your phone camera on the graphic above
Phone the police via 111 or ask neighbours or friends to ring for you.
Run outside and head for where there are other people.
Scream for help so that your neighbours can hear you.
Take the children with you.
Don’t stop to get anything else.
If you are being abused, remember it’s not your fault. Violence is never okay.
Women’s Refuge: A free national crisis line operates 24/7 - 0800 Refuge or 0800 733 843. Website: womensrefuge.org.nz.
Mitchell Hageman joined Hawke’s Bay Today in January 2023. From his Napier base, he writes regularly on social issues, arts and culture, and the community. He has a particular love for stories about ordinary people doing extraordinary things.
