Pets are increasingly being subjected to sadistic abuse in family violence cases — a level of cruelty frontline workers say they have never seen before.
In recent rescues, a dog was almost killed after being dragged behind a car. Another was kicked to death.
Other pets were starved, kicked, terrorised, beaten and bullied.
Pet Refuge, the country’s only dedicated safehouse for animals caught in family violence, has described the violence as “disturbing” and “out the gate”.
The charity is now overwhelmed — receiving up to 10 referrals a week and running a waitlist for the first time.
“I’ve honestly never seen anything like it,” founder Julie Chapman told the Herald.
“Need is so huge… and the level of referrals and the types of referrals that we’re getting are pretty like, out the gate in terms of the level of violence and sadistic nature of it.
“And that, that seems to have increased over the past six months... It’s not slowing down. When you think about the level of family violence - 100,000 callouts for police last year, and then I think it’s 65% of New Zealand households have a pet... it makes sense we’re at capacity.”
Chapman said construction had recently started on a second refuge but will take around two years to complete.
So, a major fundraising appeal was underway to help pets on the current waitlist.
New Zealand has the worst reported rate of domestic violence in the developed world. In recent years, research has revealed that the abuse is not just between humans in these dangerous relationships.
Animals are routinely beaten, tortured, threatened and killed by abusers in a bid to exert dominance and power, to demonstrate force, to manipulate, and to induce compliance.
The Family Violence and Animal Abuse Survey 2018 found that of 1000 domestic violence victims who had experienced a partner abusing or threatening a pet, 53% of them delayed leaving the relationship because they feared what would happen to animals left behind.
As well, 41% said they or their children had been made to watch their pet being harmed by their partner.
Chapman said animals were one of the reasons victims gave for delaying their escape from abusive and unsafe homes - or staying.
The refuge was set up to remove that barrier for some people, enabling them to get to safety and start new violence-free lives without having to worry about their beloved pets.
Since the refuge opened in July 2021, 734 animals from 431 families have been housed or helped.
A fundraising appeal begins tomorrow to help pets who are currently waiting for safe shelter.
Six women who turned to Pet Refuge during their journey through domestic violence shared their stories with the Herald.
Their names have been changed to keep them safe from abusive ex-partners and protect their privacy.
For a long time, Liz thought she could not leave her abusive partner because she did not think there was anywhere for her to go with her beloved dog.
“She’s been through so much. She’s loyal and affectionate, but she’s also been shaped by some awful experiences,” Liz explained.
“She was often on the receiving end of my ex’s temper. He terrorised her, constantly kicking her, and on one occasion, he broke her tail. She became very protective of me, especially around men. She was constantly on edge.
“She also saw our other dog killed by my ex. He kicked [the dog’s] head in. [She] saw it happen, and she was never the same after that. She stopped eating for six weeks. It was like she’d lost not just a friend, but her sense of safety.”
Liz said the dog was “so traumatised, to the point where I thought I might have to put her down”.
“I thought she’d been through too much to ever recover from,” she said.
“I was so afraid to send her to Pet Refuge… but the minute she met the team, he wanted to go with them. It was such a relief to know that while we didn’t have a home and we were living in transitional housing, that she was somewhere warm and safe and she was so well cared for.”
Liz has been reunited with her dog, who came home “calmer and more trusting”.
“I know there are so many people out there whose animals have been through trauma, and because of that bond, they can’t imagine sending them away,” she said.
“I felt the same, but sending (my dog) to Pet Refuge turned out to be the best thing I could have done for her.
“I want people to know they don’t have to stay in their situation because they’re afraid for their pet… I know what it’s like to feel trapped by that fear.
“But you don’t have to stay - there is a place where your pets will be safe, loved, and cared for, so you can find your way forward.”
Sasha left her violent partner and moved into emergency housing. The property didn’t allow pets but she could not leave her cat and dog behind so she was hiding them outside in her car.
“Then my ex-partner found me. He assaulted me again and stole the car – with my cat still inside and the dog chained to the tow bar. He didn’t unhook him. He just took off, dragging my boy behind the vehicle," she said.
“The damage was horrific. His claws were scraped down to the bone, and his belly was all torn up. He couldn’t walk. For a while, I didn’t think he was going to make it.”
Sasha was referred to Pet Refuge and was put up in a dog-friendly motel for two months.
“When I say they saved me – I mean it. I had no resources, no voice and no safe place to go. Pet Refuge gave me all of that. They were the only people who cared about my wellbeing and my dog’s. They gave me the space I needed to breathe and to heal," she said.
Staff also helped Sasha navigate the court process. Her ex was jailed for abusing Sasha and her dog.
The dog made a full recovery and was reunited with Sasha when she found a new home.
“He’s healed completely. He’s strong now. He’s happy. And he’s still by my side,” she said.
“He is my kaitiaki – my protector. And having someone step in to protect him, to care for him, that meant the world to me.”
Rose was heavily pregnant when she escaped her partner. After a violent assault, she knew she “needed to get out fast”.
She went into emergency housing and her cat and dog went to Pet Refuge.
“I’ve had my dog for years…... He’s been my PTSD support, my mental health companion. He’s an awesome dog. I love him so much, and being separated from him has been so hard.
“My cat has been with us since he was born. We had his mum, and he’s grown up alongside my dog… they’ve been best mates (and) he’s also incredibly close to my young daughter. They are inseparable.”
Rose said her pets had also been impacted by her ex-partner’s violent abuse.
At times, he would not let her feed the cat. When he assaulted Rose the dog would run off and hide, terrified.
“I don’t know if my ex had hurt him before, when I wasn’t around. In the past, my ex had tried to pressure me to have (the dog) put down,” she said.
She said the level of care and attention Pet Refuge had provided was “incredible”.
“I’m blown away by how well they’re doing,” she said.
“ It means so much to know they’re not just being looked after – they’re being loved. I’m so grateful to the whole team at Pet Refuge.
“They have taken care of (my pets) when I couldn’t… I’ll never forget it.”
Amelia’s son was in an abusive and “spiralling” relationship, and she was constantly worried about his dogs.
The abuse began with control and over time, escalated to verbal and physical attacks.
Amelia said the dogs were “caught in the middle of it all”.
“They were exposed to the shouting, the tension, and the fear every day,” she explained.
“When tensions flared in the house, the dogs often bore the brunt of it.
“It was a toxic, stressful environment, and it showed... They were in rough shape – skinny, anxious, and constantly on edge.”
Pet Refuge took the dogs in and housed them for four months before helping to rehoming them.
“They supported us to find a home for the dogs where they would be happy and loved. The outcome couldn’t have been better - (they) were rehomed together into a home where they’ll get the love, attention, and active lifestyle they need,” Amelia said.
“They’re safe, happy, and still side by side – that’s all I could have hoped for.”
Ashley had to move fast. Her abusive ex was due for release from prison, and she had to get away so he could not find her again.
Emergency housing was available for her, but not her cats.
She turned to Pet Refuge and handed the cats over for seven months while she rebuilt her life.
“The day I handed the cats over to Pet Refuge, I cried. I couldn’t even put them in their carriers – it was too hard. But the day they came home was incredible. I was so happy, it was awesome,” she said.
“They sent me weekly updates and photos. I could see how well all three cats were being looked after. It was a weight off my shoulders at a time when everything else was uncertain.”
Ashley said she and the cats were now settled in their new home.
“I know the violence affected them too. Back in the old house, they used to run and hide whenever things got bad. They were always on edge,” she recalled.
“Now, you can just tell they feel safer. They’re more relaxed, more affectionate, and they know this is home. We’re all calmer now.
“I love my cats so much. I’m so grateful to Pet Refuge – they made it possible for us to leave and start again.”
Gemma had never been away from her cats but she knew she needed to put them somewhere safe while she escaped her partner.
“I was in a very emotionally abusive relationship. He controlled everything I did and I had to plan to leave without him knowing. The night he found out, he got physical, and I called the police,” she said.
“I knew I couldn’t take the cats with me, and I knew they wouldn’t be safe with my ex... the cats were extremely stressed. They could feel the toxicity I was living in, and I could see it affecting their behaviour.”
She said the day Pet Refuge took the cats was “awful” but she soon realised it was the best thing she could have done.
“You’re essentially handing over your babies,” she said.
“I was starting over in a really tough situation, with hardly any money, and knowing I didn’t have to worry about them for a while was such a relief. The biggest comfort in this awful situation was knowing my cats were safe.
“Getting them back was the best thing I’ve ever experienced. They’re happy, they snuggle up together, and they’re thriving. Trusting someone else with the things you care about most is terrifying – but the love, care, and constant updates gave me what I needed to get through.”
Since opening in 2021, Pet Refuge has provided more than 65,000 safe bed nights to more than 750 pets – including dogs, cats, small pets, and farm animals. Every one of those safe nights was made possible by the generosity of people who believe no pet should be left behind.
A monthly donation of $25 through Pet Refuge’s Safe Beds for Pets programme provides shelter, veterinary treatment, and rehabilitation for pets affected by family violence.
For more information or to make a donation, visit www.petrefuge.org.nz.
Anna Leask is a senior journalist who covers national crime and justice. She joined the Herald in 2008 and has worked as a journalist for 19 years with a particular focus on family and gender-based violence, child abuse, sexual violence, homicides, mental health and youth crime. She writes, hosts and produces the award-winning podcast A Moment In Crime, released monthly on nzherald.co.nz