Gloomy undertaker belongs in pages of history books

Like it or not, a funeral home is the one place we will all end up.

But the role of the funeral director - and the things people request for their last service - have changed markedly.

Wayne Lyons, president of the Funeral Directors Association of New Zealand, says funeral directors were once simply undertakers, preparing the body for burial or cremation, liaising with the clergyman and family, fulfilling legal requirements and placing a notice in the paper.

These days they are also function organisers, often providing personalised service sheets, a venue, music, sound or video recording, a recommended celebrant or priest, as well as catering.

"Until a few years ago, death was the last taboo - the one thing that no one talked about in social conversation," says Mr Lyons. "Today, it holds great fascination. The Six Feet Under TV programme and big changes in the ways funerals are commemorated are obvious signs that attitudes have changed."

So much so that the association, which has 180 members, has been running open days to encourage people to come and see what funeral directors do. An estimated 8000 people visited 81 premises last Sunday.

After 25 years on the job, John Duncan, association vice-president and owner of the Ninness Funeral Home in Porirua, has become used to public expectations that a funeral director should be a sombre character.

At dinner parties when he was younger he used to "fudge it a bit" when people asked him what he did, but he has long since got over that.

His parents and grandparents lived next door to funeral directors, so it seemed relatively normal as a career choice.

"I used to think they had flash cars and didn't have to work unless someone died, so it seemed easy," he laughs.

"I couldn't be more wrong about that."

In addition to being one of two Porirua funeral directors on call to pick up bodies for the police at all hours, he handles 220 to 250 "clients" a year.

Each takes about three hours to prepare, which can involve washing, shaving, cleaning, closing the eyes and mouth, arterial embalming, dressing and cosmetics.

For an average adult, embalming involves replacing the blood with eight to 10 litres of fluid pumped into the carotid artery. The fluid is a disinfectant, preservative and has a cosmetic purpose.

Gone are the days of the "shroud" or funeral gown - families usually provide a favourite outfit, which can be anything from "the casual, most-loved weekend clothing or a two-piece Armani suit".

The changing face of funerals has brought much more individualism, says Mr Duncan. Fewer services take place at churches, more at home, the RSA, marae, or even the bowling club.

Aspects of the service and even the coffin have become personal. "One client said, 'You can't eat flowers' so he had a spray of vegetables on his coffin."

Another had his coffin hand-built by the construction firm he worked for and was known to try it out for size while he was still in the hospice.

Mr Duncan enjoys the job and says it is a great way to be involved in the community.

But most funeral directors have their own "hot buttons". For him - as a father of three - it is hard to embalm a child, and he is also reminded of his own mortality when he prepares someone who has died around his own age of 46.

The business of dying

* Each year in New Zealand there are 27,000 funerals

* Consumer magazine (April 2002) says the average cost of a burial is $5165 (funeral director's fees $2050, local government burial charge $1150, coffin $900, catering $500, service sheets $160, minister/celebrant donation $125, flowers $110, newspaper ads $90, organist $50, death certificate $30)

* The average cost of a cremation is $4590, says the same magazine

* 125 funeral homes are registered with the Funeral Directors Association New Zealand; 40 to 50 are not

* 180 funeral directors are registered with the association and there are 130 qualified members of the New Zealand Embalmers Association