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Satirical UK website The Daily Mash puts it this way: "Dame Helen Mirren last night threw up all over a coffee table and then urged everyone to have a good look at it."
The Oscar-winning actress, according to the spoof write-up, then picked through the contents of her
stomach, drawing attention to a light lunch of pasta with mushrooms, as well as a medium-sized Scotch egg that had clearly been swallowed whole.
Not a bad summary of what no doubt is a harrowing time for outspoken Mirren, who let loose in a magazine interview about her former cocaine snorting and in which she also made some dubious and controversial comments about date rape.
Mirren came under a frenzy of criticism in Britain - Guardian commentator Julie Bindel described Mirren's logic as twisted - and the story is still reverberating around the world.
The published comments are actually some of the juicier bits taken from a yet to be published full interview with GQ magazine. Mirren has apparently issued a statement saying while she does not dispute their accuracy, she does ask people to read the article in its entirety before drawing conclusions.
If people do so their conclusions will likely be "far less sweeping and sensational than those drawn by some in the popular press. She does not wish to qualify any of her remarks, she just wants to avoid having them presented in inflammatory language," said a spokesman.
Too late for the Dame, really, given her comments have already whizzed around the world via the internet.
This is what she is reported to have said: "I was date-raped, yes. A couple of times. Not with excessive violence, but rather being locked in a room and made to have sex against my will.
"If a woman voluntarily ends up in man's bedroom with her clothes off ... it's such a tricky area, isn't it? Especially if there is no violence.
"I think she has the right to say no at the last second. But I don't think she can have that man in court under those circumstances. I guess it is one of the many subtle parts of the men/women relationship that has to be negotiated and worked out between them.
"I was polite and didn't have the courage to say that to men who wouldn't accept 'no' for an answer. I was very innocent when I went to college in London. I went to a convent school and had never spent a night away from home or gone to parties or any of that."
Though some of the responses around the world have hardly been measured, Kathryn McPhillips, from the Auckland Sexual Abuse Foundation, was. She said that while it's a bit hard commenting on half an interview, some of what Mirren said seemed to make good sense. But some of it didn't.
"The way I read it was she said that if you choose to go back to a man's bedroom and engage in kissing and cuddling but you say no to intercourse that's okay, that no should stand and that it's rape if someone proceeds to intercourse when you've said no.
"So we totally agree with that. It was just the next bit I think when she said that that kind of situation shouldn't end up in court or doesn't end up in court."
The reality is, the kind of date rape Mirren describes doesn't get to court - but it should because when the woman says no and the man continues, this is rape and he is breaking the law.
But Mirren's attitude is not out of sync for a woman of her generation, says McPhillips. And she doesn't think Mirren's comments have put the rape issue back decades, as some in Britain have suggested.
Our Government has set up a Taskforce for Action on Sexual Violence and McPhillips is hopeful the rape law will be changed to include a clear definition around consent.
Because no means no, she says.
The law already states if a woman is so drunk a man cannot get consent from her but has sex with her anyway, that is rape. But the law does not contain the man having to prove consent.
"What happens at the moment is the reasonable belief defence, so if a guy can go into court and say 'well, I thought she wanted it' at the moment it's automatic, so he doesn't have to have any proof that he did anything to check that out."
Mirren's comments have incited anger in others in New Zealand.
Deborah Joy, of the Courageous Women Charitable Trust, says it is these kinds of comments which lead women not to report date rape.
"In New Zealand up to 90 per cent of rape and sexual abuse goes unreported. We need to see more women reporting such instances to police and a few stiff sentences being handed down by the courts to change attitudes."
There are those, however, who applaud Mirren's comments.
A male Herald Online reader had this to say: "To get to the final gate, so to speak, and say no, please, come on.
"A male libido is not something that can simply be turned off like a water tap. It would be 'nice' to think life works like that but you are dealing with a human being here. It is all fine and well to hold the high ground that No is No! However, when alcohol or drugs are involved, common sense flies out the window. Reality!"
McPhillips says she would remind that reader that he has a cortex and frontal lobes, thus the capacity to think and thinking can override other neural systems at play here.
"We want to hit someone, we don't go round and just do it. There are many, many physical processes that feel strong and automatic that we are able to override and that's the difference with human beings."
As for the alcohol factor, if the man uses his brain and decides to get drunk, then date rapes, he is responsible for that decision. "The same as if you drive drunk and kill someone."
