The man is defending physical and sexual violence allegations made by five former partners.
The man is defending physical and sexual violence allegations made by five former partners.
WARNING: This article details allegations of sexual abuse and family violence which may upset some readers.
The final complainant in a trial that has exposed an alleged pattern of abuse by one man against multiple women has given evidence of the relentless tactics he used to exert control over her.
“I would be berated for hours, sleep deprived, physically assaulted, every weapon he could use until I did it,” she claimed of his alleged daily demands for sex.
She alleged not only physical abuse but psychological entrapment at his hands.
The woman told the court that within three weeks, the relationship went from loving to abusive.
“That first couple of weeks, it was the classic hooking you in and full-on love bombing; it’s amazing, we’re together, he was saving me because I had been going down this terrible path,” she said.
But at the three-week mark, she recalled her happiness turning to terror.
She claimed it began with threats of “if you f*** me over, I’ll f*** you over”.
The woman alleged she was verbally and physically abused almost daily for the next five years.
During that time, she alleged, the sexual assaults occurred every night.
“[The man] is a very cruel person. He is quite sadistic and enjoys being in control and also, just being violent,” she said in her evidential interview.
The woman said the defendant was “insane” and, when he was in one of his manic phases, would berate her for hours.
“He just had such control of me mentally and emotionally that he would be physically and sexually violent towards me, and I would just take it.
“I wouldn’t be fighting back cos he’s just too terrifying,” she said.
Justice Rebecca Edwards is hearing the judge-alone trial at the High Court in Whangārei. Photo / Mark Mitchell
In her evidential interview, she recalled being in a state of survival, and that there were multiple reasons she could not leave the alleged abusive relationship.
“When you’re living with this on a daily basis you’re just trying to survive. Sometimes, leaving is not an option, you can’t figure out how to do it.”
The woman said her ex was fixated on her not being a virgin, constantly berating her that she was a “whore and a slut”.
She alleged she was physically assaulted by the man on numerous occasions, including two occasions he allegedly restricted her airflow, multiple threats to kill her and a black eye that forced her to take a week off work.
She told her friends the injury came from their baby throwing his head into her.
The woman would look after their children all day, work evenings and return home at 11pm, to then allegedly be harassed for sex throughout the night.
“He would stay up and berate me, and then he would sleep during the day while I looked after the children, so he got sleep but I didn’t,” she told the court.
Defence lawyer Martin Hislop put to her that his client persuaded her to have sex, and she was never forced.
“That’s not a word I would use,” she responded.
Hislop also told her there were often arguments in the evening which would result in make-up sex.
“It wasn’t normal arguments, it was being accused of cheating, being abused, being told I was a whore, a slut, but in particular if he wanted to start an argument, it would be an accusation of cheating,” she said.
Hislop claimed it was the woman who would lose control during their relationship. However, the woman said that provoking her to lose control was part of the man’s strategy to maintain dominance.
The man, who has been seated behind defence counsel throughout the trial, interjected vocally while the witness was giving evidence.
It was the second time he had done so in the past two weeks, leading Justice Rebecca Edwards to order that he be placed back in the dock.
The judge-alone trial continues.
Shannon Pitman is a Whangārei-based reporter for Open Justice covering courts in the Te Tai Tokerau region. She is of Ngāpuhi/Ngāti Pūkenga descent and has worked in digital media for the past five years. She joined NZME in 2023.
