Strewth. Can you imagine it, cobber? The All Blacks singing Advance Australia Fair before kick-off and then throwing a few prawns on the barbie at the after-match?
As Andrew Little flew to Australia yesterday to address politicians today about Kiwis' lack of rights in their adopted country, an Aussie senator made a suggestion that would likely make the average bloke in his stubbies choke on his tinnie.
Ian Macdonald, who chaired the parliamentary committee that recommended a new law leading to the detention and deportation of NZers, said New Zealand could become the country's seventh and eighth state.
He said Labour leader Little's calls for, among other improved rights, access to citizenship for Kiwi expats would not be controversial to most Australians.
"The issue of closer ties with New Zealand is one beyond any limited expertise I might have, but as an observer ... I would love to have New Zealand join us perhaps as the seventh and eighth state. And what a wonderful country it would then be - and I wouldn't need a passport to get across to Queenstown with the wineries. It would be great."
The Australian Constitution already names New Zealand as one of its potential states - its 1901 constitution listed New Zealand with existing Australian states, meaning it could join the Commonwealth with the others under an act of Parliament - an option New Zealand has already rejected. But the option is still open in the constitution.
Mr Little and fellow Labour MP (and recently-confirmed Auckland mayoralty candidate) Phil Goff will appear today before two committees in Canberra, as well as meet Australian Opposition leader Bill Shorten and Immigration Minister Peter Dutton.
The primary purpose of the trip is to highlight the lack of rights an estimated 250,000 to 350,000 Kiwis living in Australia on "non-protected" visas have - including few welfare safety nets, and no automatic path to permanent residency or citizenship.
Mr Little will also talk to Mr Dutton about a new law, introduced last December, that enables the deportation of non-Australians who are sentenced cumulatively to a year or more in prison, or who are judged to fail character tests.
He will ask for better discretion to be exercised at the point of revoking a visa.
Mr Macdonald, a Liberal senator from Northern Queensland, said that, in his view, any appeals to significantly change the policy would be unsuccessful.
"There has been a feeling building up in Australia for a long period of time that people who are not Australians and who break our laws should go back to their country of origin.
"From my knowledge of [Mr Dutton] and what I have seen of his public comments, I don't think he is going to take a [different] view."
Asked if it was fair for Australia to deport people who had left New Zealand at a very young age, Mr Macdonald questioned why they had not become citizens.
"If they are so embedded in Australia, why the hell haven't they taken the step of becoming ... citizens?"
Despite calls from advocacy groups such as Oz Kiwi and both the National Government and Labour for a clearer path to citizenship for Kiwi expats, Mr Macdonald said the issue was not one he was aware of.
"My impression has been that they [citizenship criteria] are never terribly arduous for anybody."
Five reasons it would be good for the Aussies:
• They would finally win the Rugby World Cup again.
• Auckland's house prices would make most of theirs look cheap.
• They could enjoy the delights of a flag referendum.
• They could pick cricketers Kane Williamson (and Ross Taylor).
• They would no longer all sound like drunk early settlers.
Five reasons it would be good for New Zealand:
• We can't think of any.