Brownlee finds targets with brilliant banter

Gerry Brownlee's acerbic wit never disappoints. Photo / Greg Bowker

Too rarely does Gerry Brownlee allow his acerbic wit to run riot during the take-no-prisoners general debate in Parliament on Wednesday afternoons.

Humour is the most potent weapon in this weekly verbal brawl. Some MPs given the call to speak who try to be funny end up failing miserably. Brownlee never disappoints.

He tagged yesterday's contribution as "The Dance of the Deputies". He pondered why Tracey Martin's hold on the deputy leadership of New Zealand First had been under threat. "The question is what has Tracey Martin done? The answer is nothing. Which is probably why she is in this situation."

He described Ron Mark, the MP poised to replace Martin, as "New Zealand's answer to George Speight" - the jumped-up Fiji coup leader.

Brownlee then canvassed potential candidates for Labour's deputy leadership which is temporarily in Annette King's hands. Spotting Labour's Christchurch-based MP Megan Woods across the chamber, he accused her of undertaking a "Kardashian-esque makeover which screams ambition".

"Oh Gerry, you're so kind," Woods interjected.

But Brownlee's focus was now on King.

She might well be keeping her seat warm for someone else. But Labour leader Andrew Little might end up finding he was keeping his seat warm for her. "All I can say is ... hang in there baby, soon you'll be Queen."

For once, Brownlee had some competition in the sarcasm stakes in the form of Labour's chief whip Chris Hipkins. He questioned the priorities of a Government which was flogging off state houses yet seemingly could afford to fork out millions on a luxury New York condominium for New Zealand's representative to the United Nations.

Tongue firmly in cheek, Hipkins suggested the PM sack Housing and Building Minister Nick Smith and replace him with Foreign Minister Murray McCully.

After all, the latter had sorted out New Zealand's New York housing crisis. Fixing Auckland's ought to be a doddle - even more so for someone who was about to bring peace to the Middle East as a result of New Zealand's month-long chairmanship of the UN Security Council. Or so everyone had been told.