Beehive Diaries: Simon Bridges' confessions, MPs' wayward texts

National leader Judith Collins on the government's announcement for combatting gangs and organised crime. Video / Mark Mitchell

This week, Minister Ayesha Verrall got into a slippery situation, Simon Bridges wrote enough words to make a book, and Herald journalists got some wayward texts.

Sunday: Associate Health Minister Ayesha Verrall in a slippery situation

Ayesha Verrall turned up at a cervical smear clinic in Lower Hutt for her first pre-Budget announcement: funding for self-testing for cervical cancer.

Ever diligent, she scanned in on her Covid-19 app and headed for the hand sanitiser bottle, pumping a good dollop on to her hands.

After rubbing and rubbing, she said, "Wait. This isn't sanitiser."

It was lubricating gel.

The moment Ayesha Verrall realises she has not put sanitiser on her hands. Photo / Jason Walls

Monday: Bridges' book. Do unto Judith as Judith has done unto you

Just as Prime Minister Jacinda Ardern started her post-Cabinet news conference, news also landed from National MP Simon Bridges. He had written a book and even convinced a publisher to publish it.

I’m excited to share with you about my new book, National Identity. An open, honest and at times intensely personal memoir about race, fatherhood, marriage, masculinity, fitting in, and the things that shape our national character. Out in bookstores 18 August. pic.twitter.com/A1mwxmYh8v

— Simon Bridges (@simonjbridges) May 10, 2021

He insisted the book, National Identity – Confessions of an Outsider, was not a political memoir. It even said "not a political memoir" on the cover.

He insisted it was not a leadership bid – he claimed the 'confessions' within it were not those anybody who wanted to be leader would share.

Nor was it any form of revenge against leader Judith Collins, who had written a book and published it while Bridges was leader. Collins had at least alerted everybody to the fact she was writing the book.

Both Collins and Bridges have insisted Collins was told of the book before Bridges tweeted about it.

Nonetheless, Collins insisted she was "delighted" for Bridges, and pleased that her caucus was capable of churning out books.

Wednesday: From the 'it could have been much worse' files

NZ Herald Press Gallery staff have been the lucky but accidental recipients of a few mis-sent texts from politicians of late.

A few weeks ago, Napier MP Stuart Nash sent an urgent message to Jason Walls demanding to know the results of a police unit's gang focus work in Hawke's Bay. "I'm getting hammered in the bay and need to respond urgently," he wrote.

The message was intended for his adviser, Jason.

National MPs had just held a community meeting on gangs in his 'hood and will be delighted to know he was feeling the heat from it.

Minister Stuart Nash. Photo / Mark Mitchell

This week also delivered National MP Paul Goldsmith's text trying to solicit some business out of senior political correspondent Audrey Young. Goldsmith's text advised that his daughter was now offering babysitting services, should Audrey require them.

Young replied she was not in need of a babysitter. "Wrong Audrey," Goldsmith texted back.

Anyone named Audrey in Auckland who requires the services of a babysitter should apply directly to Goldsmith.

Tweet of the week:

Beehive Diaries' favourite, Jimmy Barnes, is back delivering up treats on social media, this time a rendition of Dave Dobbyn's Beside You. This time the family singalong included a brand new Kiwi grandson, Teddy.

feeling lucky & thankful for this Trans Tasman bubble. Here we are with our whanau in New Zealand enjoying time with our @ejie @jimmymetherell and our first Kiwi grandson wee Teddy. Nowhere else I’d rather be right now (beside you) @ pic.twitter.com/PFejxNyuTA

— Jimmy Barnes (@JimmyBarnes) May 13, 2021