Coast broadcaster Toni Street and her daughter, Juliette, 9. Photo / Tony Nyberg
The beloved broadcaster shares her fears for her eldest daughter Juliette and how she's preparing her for the future.
When Toni Street was growing up in New Plymouth back in the '90s, life seemed pretty simple. She kicked around in rugby shorts and T-shirts, plans were made by landline, and her beauty regime consisted of a lick of sunblock and a hairbrush through her thick blonde mane each morning.
"It was a simple time," she laughs, welcoming Woman's Day into her new beachside home
in Auckland, which she shares with her husband Matt France and their children, Juliette,
9, Mackenzie, 6, and Lachie, 3.
"I look at young people today and feel like my experience growing up was a world away from what they're dealing with. No internet, no selfies… I didn't even get a mobile 'til I was about 15! Social media can be great, but it can also bring huge pressure and, as a mum, that worries me."
It's perhaps no surprise then that Toni, 38, has lent her voice to a campaign highlighting the impacts of digital distortion on Kiwi girls.
Teaming up with Dove, the Coast radio star is talking to us today about a recent survey of women in New Zealand that showed half of respondents aged between 10 and 17 had started using filters to change their images by the age of 10.
It also revealed our young wāhine are spending an average of 101 minutes a day on social media sites such as TikTok, Snapchat and Instagram.
"I find it incredibly distressing that girls are too scared to upload a picture of their real selves – that they feel they have to change their own image to look 'better' or to chase this totally unrealistic idea of beauty," says Toni.
"If they're doing that at 10, where are they going to end up at 18? It shows me something
in our society has gone wrong. Something isn't right if our girls feel they're not okay as they are."
Joining her mum at our photoshoot is Juliette. At 9, she's a little way off the world of social media, but she's happy to get involved to help highlight Toni's work. When asked if
she can imagine ever trying to change her face for a photo, she looks incredulous.
"I think we should all be happy with our own faces," she says, grabbing a piece of homemade caramel slice out of the pantry and settling down on the sofa. "I don't choose my friends because they're pretty. I choose them because they have good personalities and because they're nice to me – that's what's important."
Toni says Juliette's childhood innocence is a blessing and she hopes her daughter can hold on to that for as long as possible.
"She's really quite sweet and naive still, which I love," smiles Toni. "But I also know she's
a sensitive girl and she feels things deeply. It's a real balancing act – you want to protect your kids from the world, but you also know that's not possible. So I guess it's about preparing them and making sure they know they can talk to you about anything."
And with Juliette nearing double digits, her devoted mum knows it won't be long before her eldest is asking for a phone of her own, and selfie culture will be hard to avoid.
"It fills me with dread the idea that, in just a few years, she'll be on social media and managing all the pressure that comes with that," tells Toni. "Even though it's tempting to just say no to phones, I don't want to be the parent who bans their kids from connecting with their friends.
"Instead, we need to arm ourselves with the right tools and information. I ask her, 'Who are the people you look up to?' It's fine to follow international celebrities – we all enjoy that – but we also have such awesome role models here and I'll be encouraging her to look at them for inspiration as well."
With almost 80,000 followers on Instagram, Toni is no stranger to social media. In fact, it's a vital tool for not only promoting her work, but for connecting with the fans she's amassed throughout her stellar broadcasting career too. But she takes a very deliberate approach when it comes to choosing which images to share and how.
"I feel like I have a responsibility to share a range of photos where it's not about my looks, but rather to reflect my real life," she explains. "I post plenty of pictures where I'm sweaty, with no makeup, or covered in cake mix, baking with my son.
"I want my feed to be an accurate representation of my life, not a fake version. That's not to say I don't share the glam moments too, where I've had my hair and makeup done to head out to an event, because I do love all that stuff and I like to look my best, but I think it's important to show all sides of my life."
Toni admits sometimes it's not always easy posting the less-than-flattering angles, but it's something she's determined to fight against.
"I made a little video the other day of me working out and when I watched it back,
I thought, 'Oh, no, that's not a great look.' But I posted it anyway because, let's face it, I'm a 38-year-old mum-of-three – why would my tummy be perfectly flat? That's just
not realistic."
Toni remembers once interviewing a Kiwi cosmetic doctor who told her women were turning up with photos of themselves with filters applied, saying that's what they'd like to look like. She grimaces, "I'm not saying filters should be banned, but we should be pushing back against them, encouraging girls to be themselves and to be comfortable in their own skin."
And she believes there are plenty of things parents can do to help safeguard their children's self-esteem, such as steering conversations away from appearance. She points to Dove's newly launched Body Confidence Kit for simple tips and ideas.
The sports-mad star adds that keeping children active is her guiding force. As coach of Juliette's netball and cricket teams, Toni sees first-hand the benefits of keeping youngsters busy and engaged in sport.
"Young people need other things going on so they're not sitting in front of their phones all day," she says. "Encouraging other interests is super-important. I look after this big group of 9- and 10-year-old girls, and I just love being part of their little worlds.
"They're so innocent right now – they don't care at all about how they look or what they're wearing. I know all that will change at some point, but I hope that if we lay the groundwork now, they'll be well-placed to cope with it."
With 2022 now in full swing, Toni has a busy calendar ahead – as we speak, she is set to be "groomswoman" at radio co-host Sam Wallace's wedding in Russell and she has a special family weekend away planned to celebrate her parents' 40th wedding anniversary later in the month.
She's hosting the New Zealander of the Year Awards on March 31, her new show Game Changer airs on TVNZ in May and Toni is also busy making a wellness podcast called We Need To Talk.
While she'd love to take the kids on an overseas holiday later this year, making firm plans is something Toni has had to let go.
"If Covid has taught us anything, it's that planning is a waste of time," she laughs. "So we'll just cross our fingers and see what the year brings. So far, so good!"
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