It has come to my attention that some people on the internet believe they can mix balsamic vinegar with sparkling water to get what they describe as "healthy coke".
I'm about two weeks late to the party, mostly due to not having TikTok but also due to forgetting to buy sparkling water every time I've been to the shops.
I've been a Coca-Cola snob ever since, at the tender age of six or seven-years-old, I aced the Pepsi vs Coca-Cola blind test they were doing at an amusement park. The dude hosting the challenge was really good at hyping up the fact that I, being but a small child, got it right and, because of that, I have since felt weirdly smug about being able to tell apart two beverages that taste completely different.
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Anyway, over the years, and through all the dentistry bills, my commitment to Coke never wavered. As a Coca-Cola connoisseur (a... cokenoisseur? No, nevermind) and someone who's sort of committed to trying to stay in touch with the latest trends (plus or minus two weeks), it feels like a civic duty to try this thing out.
According to TikToker Amanda Jones, who earlier this month went viral with the "healthy Coke" video, the recipe is so simple even I can follow. You get a glass with ice, pour a splash of balsamic vinegar on it, then add a sparkling beverage of whatever flavour on top, stir and drink. "I am not joking you, it tastes just like a Coke," she says.
I am not joking you, it does not.
I followed the recipe (except, budget queen that I am, I used Pams sparkling water instead of La Croix).
Amanda was right in that, when you mix the ingredients together, it does look like Coke. But you only have to be within a couple of kilometres radius of the glass to be able to smell the vinegar.
Still, despite my nose telling me not to, I persisted. I tried the thing. Heroically, I did not vomit. I did say something I can't quote on here without having to use a bunch of these *****.
I don't think the fact that I used budget-friendly unflavoured sparkling water is the issue here. The real issue here is the fact that, after so much money spent on my education, I survived a pandemic and got to 2022 only to drink vinegar with water because someone on TikTok suggested I should.