How many times have you wondered why he isn't messaging you? Calling you? Sweeping you off your feet?
Too many, I'm picking.
Lord knows how easy it is to get lost in the world of romance. When being with someone feels like warmth, happiness and heaven on Earth you forget they are human and have faults and may not always treat you with the respect you deserve.
But never fear, my loves!
I have the answer.
Recently I was dating a guy, I nicknamed him Mr Tall, Dark and Handsome (for obvious reasons). Anywho, Mr Tall, Dark and Handsome was everything you'd want in a boyfriend until about two months in and then he decided to drop off the radar for days at a time.
Sure, life gets busy, we all forget to stay on comms 24/7, but two months in is still the honeymoon period. I smelt something fishy. On this particular weekend when he disappeared, we hit a record of five days of no comms, and when I finally did hear from him much later in the week, he said he had been sick.
Okay, fair enough.
Until he followed up by saying despite being sick, his (unlikeable) friend had dragged him out for a night on the town with "da boys". Cue the eye roll, there is no cult worse then the one who constantly recites "Saturdays are for the boys". I immediately sent the screenshot of his message to the girls group chat, AKA Boyfriend Court, and they sentenced him to the red-flag summit quicker than I could blink.
I mean, how hard is it to update your kind-of-sort-of girlfriend on what you're doing?
From that day forward – after listening to Shania Twain's That Don't Impress Me Much, I decided, if Shania can tell the world that not even Brad Pitt is worth the drama, I can tell Mr Tall, Dark and Handsome that I deserve better than being second best (and so can you, queens).
I implemented what we will refer to as the three-day rule and I think you should as well. The three-day rule means that instead of um-ing and ah-ing about your lover and how they may (or may not) feel about you, you need to forget all of that and think to yourself, how do I feel about the way he's treating me? Because any man who can go three days or longer without talking to their boo is not the man for you, I'll tell you that for free (literally, my column isn't premium).
As an intelligent, gorgeous, smart woman who knows her self-worth, it's important to put boundaries in place with the men you date. If you don't make it clear from the start that mediocre behaviour is a no-no, said men will see that you don't see yourself as a priority and in turn, not treat you like one (like Mr Tall, Dark and Handsome did with me).
A weak man will assume you're a b-word for putting him in his place but block your ears, recite the hot girl summer lyrics, and trust me when I say it's a blessing in disguise. In no world do we have time for men like that. We want the real men, the ones who know how to make a woman feel like the only girl in the world.
So, from one queen to another, three days is too long without comms.