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Home / Lifestyle

The cost of dying: Crowdfunding funerals, rising costs and finding alternatives

Emma Gleason
By Emma Gleason
Lifestyle and Entertainment Deputy Editor - Audience·NZ Herald·
19 Jul, 2024 05:00 PM10 mins to read

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Julia Maree Maggs (nee Steenson) and husband Dave, who wants to give her the burial she asked for. The Steenson family has turned to Givealittle to raise money for the funeral, as many Kiwis struggle with the cost of dying in New Zealand. Photo / Getty Images, Givealittle

Julia Maree Maggs (nee Steenson) and husband Dave, who wants to give her the burial she asked for. The Steenson family has turned to Givealittle to raise money for the funeral, as many Kiwis struggle with the cost of dying in New Zealand. Photo / Getty Images, Givealittle

With burial costs in some regions rising 48% since last year, and many New Zealanders turning to Givealittle pages to crowdfund funeral fees after an unexpected death, how can Kiwis manage the hard price of passing on during a cost-of-living crisis?

A Kiwi family seeking help paying for the burial of their relative have taken to Givealittle this week in hopes of fulfilling the 46-year-old’s wish.

Julia Maree Maggs (nee Steenson) died suddenly, in hospital, after spending years struggling with physical and mental health issues. Husband Dave, who lost his job earlier this year, is desperate to give her the funeral she wanted.

The Steensons, from Auckland’s North Shore, set up the Givealittle page to raise money ($15,000) for the funeral expenses, so they could give her the send-off she wanted – burial rather than cremation - which she’d joked “in true Juls style” was so she could “come back as a zombie”.

“It’s a little tongue in cheek,” says Julia’s sister Debbie in a phone call to the Herald, taking time to explain the situation amid the family grieving.

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A cremation was suggested – the family was quoted a price of $2800 – where “you get the ashes and nothing else” Debbie says, but Dave wants to respect Julia’s wishes. “He’s grieving and he’s just so adamant.”

Julia wanted a burial. “They’re not cheap,” says Debbie. “It’s bloody expensive, it’s crazy,” she says of a burial.

Depending on the plot, she says they’re looking at between $18,000 and $20,000 for a burial and funeral. Julia will need a custom coffin; a larger size with more handles for pallbearers. “We don’t know how much we’ve got to work with, which is making it really hard.”

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Debbie is trying to withdraw some of the money in her Kiwisaver, in addition to the funds they hope to raise from donations.

“We’ve had to embalm Juls and postpone the funeral until we know how much money we’ve got,” she explained. Embalming helps preserve the deceased, giving the family more time to plan and find the money. “It’s all so damn hard.”

Adding to the family’s emotional and financial strife, Debbie also spent $11,000 on her mother’s funeral only two years ago, their brother passed away at the age of 45, and now they’ve lost Julia.

“Dave, my sister’s husband, and I are the only two it’s really fallen on,” she says. “He wants to give her her wish.”

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How much do funerals cost and why are they so expensive?

Death comes with considerable admin, and many parts of the process are non-negotiables.

Legally you have to alert the authorities, register the death – which requires a cause of death certificate, and filing notification of death documents – and then organise a burial or cremation.

A basic cremation service is the cheapest option; with Auckland Council, it will set you back $650 for an adult at a council crematorium.

Burials are more expensive, and they require a plot – this is compulsory and has to be secured at least 24 hours before the intended day of burial – and internment fee, which vary in price.

The Funeral Directors Association has updated its costs guide, and compared 2024 council costs for burial, ash burial and cremation from around New Zealand. The cheapest is in Taupō, where the plot and interment fees come to $1170; Invercargill and Whangārei are $2915 and $4061 respectively; Auckland’s North Shore Memorial Park and Manukau Memorial Gardens are both $6400; New Plymouth, the most expensive, is listed at $7207.

There are digging fees. Caskets and transportation via hears come at a cost. So too do death notices in papers (like the Herald), catering a funeral service, printing funeral programmes, and headstones.

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Professional services fees (which go to funeral directors) can range between $3000 and $6500.

Depending on the funeral, there can be venue hire, clergy or celebrants, and live-streaming to consider.

It can all add up to a sum that is eyewatering for some families.

How are we paying for them?

Kiwis are finding all sorts of ways to cover the costs of dying: savings accounts, trusts, insurance and third-party assistance.

Funeral Insurance is offered by several providers (though not Southern Cross), including AA Insurance, which offers Funeral Cover for up to $30,000 (tax-free) for Kiwis aged between 50 and 79.

The need for dedicated financing for death also came to the attention of First Union – a New Zealand trade union that represents workers in industries like transport, textiles and retail – which set up its own Funeral Insurance after the burden of cost was brought to its attention.

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“This came absolutely from our members,” says Dennis Maga, general secretary of First Union. “[They] were telling us that funerals nowadays are very expensive.”

Members who elect for Funeral Insurance do so to make sure that if anything happened, their families would be okay, he told the Herald. Dennis says claims are lodged around once a month.

Deaths from terminal illness or old age are expected, and can be prepared for. Sudden death is a different matter, be it accidental or at an untimely age.

ACC provides a tax-free funeral grant of up to $7793.13 (not a fixed amount) for the cost of a funeral, memorial or burial and associated expenses, if a death is the result of an injury, and families of homicide victims can access an additional grant of up to $10,000.

Many Kiwis have cash set aside for the inevitable.

“A lot of families are already organised,” says Michelle Pukepuke, co-owner of Haven Falls Funeral Home. “They’ve got funeral insurance, or they’ve popped the money off the side, or the kids have sorted it out.”

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But not everyone does.

READ: Auckland funeral director urges Pacific families to save for funerals to avoid going into debt

She’s noticed Givelittle pages – like the Steensons – have become more common since the pandemic.

“And a lot of whānau are actually giving the bank accounts for koha,” she tells the Herald. “Covid changed a lot of things; it became more of an individual responsibility, rather than collective.”

When contacted by the Herald, Givealittle communications lead Michaela Martinez said “there are currently approximately 49 open pages, and 216 created in the last 12 months (from today) that mention ‘funeral costs’ in the use of funds”.

It follows moderation processes to establish permission and relationship of the payee and page owner.

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“Givealittle can be helpful for anyone needing to raise funds for any reason, but also for friends and family as one of the ways to support. Funerals can come at a high cost, and it is not uncommon to raise funds for funeral and funeral-related costs.”

For those without the money close to hand, Work And Income can help in some circumstances. They may supply a Funeral Grant for up to $2559.20 if the deceased’s estate is unable to pay; you can qualify for this without being on a benefit, and the money doesn’t need to be reimbursed.

“That’s a big help to families. I know it’s considered never enough,” says Michelle. “We’d all like that to be higher, and there’s a massive difference between Winz and ACC.”

READ: Casketeer Kaiora Tipene says Work and Income New Zealand funeral grant process archaic, lacks mana

Emergency loans are offered by several outfits, but have raised concerns in the past for saddling families with debt.

“It all comes down to the needs of families,” adds Allen Pukepuke, co-owner of Haven Falls.

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They have people who come to them for simple, no-frills cremation, while on the other end of the spectrum some families want multiple services at the chapel, catering, and a high-end casket. Financial tension can add to an already emotionally difficult time.

“You see the stress of [people who think] ‘I’ve got no idea what to do, I’ve got no money, I can’t process this as well as the cost’.”

Allen Pukepuke and Michelle Pukepuke own Haven Falls funeral homes. Photo / Sylvie Whinray
Allen Pukepuke and Michelle Pukepuke own Haven Falls funeral homes. Photo / Sylvie Whinray

Even if there is money there, it can be very hard for families to challenge the price. “They can feel like they’re challenging the worth of their whānau,” says Michelle. “A lot of cultures just won’t do that because they see it as disrespectful to the tūpāpaku.”

The cost of living is going up, so is the cost of dying

From hospitality to construction, many sectors have been grappling with rising costs of staying in business, and the funeral industry is no different.

“There’s been some pretty rapid increases in the funeral environment,” says Michelle.

A lot of supplies come from offshore – chemicals, special caskets, expensive parts to repair their Cadillacs – from shipping costs to delays and shortages, “you’re really vulnerable”.

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Everything has increased. “There’s not one thing that hasn’t,” she says. “Printing is out the gate in some of the regions.”

Burial costs have gone up.

Funeral Directors Association CEO Gillian Boyes has expressed concern that council cost increases were “particularly high in lower socio-economic communities such as Wairoa.”

The region has seen the biggest increase, up 48% on 2023, to a $2960 burial total for 2024.

READ: Funeral Guides Collective helps whānau cut funeral costs

The number of deaths in New Zealand is gradually increasing over time.

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“This is because of population growth, and there being more people in the older ages where most deaths occur,” reports Stats NZ. “Nearly two in every three deaths in 2023 were of people aged 75 years and older. The number of people in the population reaching these older ages is increasing, which will therefore increase the number of deaths occurring.”

How can Kiwis manage?

Talking through what you want and need, and what’s realistic, can help keep costs manageable.

“Funeral directors can tailor packages to suit any family’s budget,” explains Geoff Botherway, general manager of Harbour City funeral home, who also points out that there are online companies that carry out simple, dignified cremations for less than the WINZ Funeral Grant.

Addressing the increase in burial costs, Gillian Boyes, CEO of the Funeral Directors Association, advised people to be open about budget constraints, consider pre-purchasing a burial or ash plot to avoid future price-rises, and above all try to make an informed decision.

“Ask to see an estimate of costs and get advice on alternatives that might be available.”

Thinking clearly, let alone creating a plan, following the death of a loved one can feel impossible when you’re navigating grief.

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Treza Gallogly is an end-of-life doula at Swansong and chair of the newly formed End of Life Doula Alliance Aotearoa – in a nutshell, the profession, in its early days in New Zealand, helps people prepare for death, and cope with the aftermath – and says funerals can be less prescriptive than people realise.

“You don’t have to have a funeral,” Treza tells the Herald. “There are a lot of other ways to do things.”

“If you haven’t got much money, you can honour your person in a beautiful way, that can be really simple, and an awful lot more cost-effective.”

Embrace offers for help, like letting a neighbour who has a beautiful garden handle the flowers.

Creating time and space for dialogue is something to foster.

“Our society has stopped talking about death,” she says. “We plan for our births and our weddings and our birthday parties, and we ignore the fact that we’re going to die.”

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Treza advises to “start having these conversations with your loved ones about what you want.”

As Kiwis struggle with the cost of living and the cost of dying, putting a number on it isn’t going to get any easier, and the money has to come from somewhere.

Emma Gleason is the New Zealand Herald’s lifestyle and entertainment deputy editor. Based in Auckland, she covers life, culture and media.

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