Stoptober - Diary of a Quitter: Day 10

Matthew Backhouse smokes his last cigarette before starting Stoptober. Photo / Nick Reed

Journalist Matthew Backhouse chronicles his efforts to quit smoking for Stoptober in a daily diary.

Quit-wise, it was an entirely uneventful day. Which I guess is what you want. An eventful day means cravings and attempts at distraction and more cravings and plenty of anguish. An uneventful day is one where you don't smoke, and you don't really think about it.

I reached this point the last time I properly tried to quit smoking. Suddenly, it becomes easy. You don't want to smoke, so there's no issue. High-fives all round.

But I remember that was only a phase. Sometime later - it could be days, or even weeks later - the cravings will return stronger than ever. And you have to be prepared.

Read yesterday's entry here.

The addicted subconscious can play very subtle tricks on even the most determined conscious mind. It sneaks up on you when you feel the strongest - and that's when you're most likely to crumble. You catch yourself thinking: "Well, I could just have one cigarette. Just one cigarette couldn't hurt, right? I've quit now and I don't need to smoke, so what's the harm in a little treat? I'll just have the one, and then I'll be back on track."

Yeah, nah. It never works that way. You're back to being a smoker, buddy.

I guess that's the advantage of having tried to quit before. You're more aware of the pitfalls. And if you're determined and self-aware enough, you can spot them coming. And not give in.

It takes a dozen attempts to quit smoking, apparently. I've lost count of how many times I've tried - most of them feebly. But as I've said before, this time is different. I'm prepared. I want to stop. And with a young son, I have great motivation to stop.

So back to my uneventful day. I'm still feeling unwell - worse than yesterday, in fact. I've scarcely left my bed in two and a half days. And no, it's not quitting related.

But unlike yesterday, I didn't lie around thinking about smoking. I scarcely thought about it at all. And that's what worries me. I'd better get my defences ready. The cravings are coming. And when they hit, unpredictably, they'll be worse than ever.

To take part in Stoptober, visit www.stoptober.nz

For help quitting, visit Quitline at www.quit.org.nz or phone 0800 778 778