NZ Herald
  • Home
  • Latest news
  • Herald NOW
  • Video
  • New Zealand
  • Sport
  • World
  • Business
  • Entertainment
  • Podcasts
  • Quizzes
  • Opinion
  • Lifestyle
  • Travel
  • Viva
  • Weather

Subscriptions

  • Herald Premium
  • Viva Premium
  • The Listener
  • BusinessDesk

Sections

  • Latest news
  • New Zealand
    • All New Zealand
    • Crime
    • Politics
    • Education
    • Open Justice
    • Scam Update
  • Herald NOW
  • On The Up
  • World
    • All World
    • Australia
    • Asia
    • UK
    • United States
    • Middle East
    • Europe
    • Pacific
  • Business
    • All Business
    • MarketsSharesCurrencyCommoditiesStock TakesCrypto
    • Markets with Madison
    • Media Insider
    • Business analysis
    • Personal financeKiwiSaverInterest ratesTaxInvestment
    • EconomyInflationGDPOfficial cash rateEmployment
    • Small business
    • Business reportsMood of the BoardroomProject AucklandSustainable business and financeCapital markets reportAgribusiness reportInfrastructure reportDynamic business
    • Deloitte Top 200 Awards
    • CompaniesAged CareAgribusinessAirlinesBanking and financeConstructionEnergyFreight and logisticsHealthcareManufacturingMedia and MarketingRetailTelecommunicationsTourism
  • Opinion
    • All Opinion
    • Analysis
    • Editorials
    • Business analysis
    • Premium opinion
    • Letters to the editor
  • Politics
  • Sport
    • All Sport
    • OlympicsParalympics
    • RugbySuper RugbyNPCAll BlacksBlack FernsRugby sevensSchool rugby
    • CricketBlack CapsWhite Ferns
    • Racing
    • NetballSilver Ferns
    • LeagueWarriorsNRL
    • FootballWellington PhoenixAuckland FCAll WhitesFootball FernsEnglish Premier League
    • GolfNZ Open
    • MotorsportFormula 1
    • Boxing
    • UFC
    • BasketballNBABreakersTall BlacksTall Ferns
    • Tennis
    • Cycling
    • Athletics
    • SailingAmerica's CupSailGP
    • Rowing
  • Lifestyle
    • All Lifestyle
    • Viva - Food, fashion & beauty
    • Society Insider
    • Royals
    • Sex & relationships
    • Food & drinkRecipesRecipe collectionsRestaurant reviewsRestaurant bookings
    • Health & wellbeing
    • Fashion & beauty
    • Pets & animals
    • The Selection - Shop the trendsShop fashionShop beautyShop entertainmentShop giftsShop home & living
    • Milford's Investing Place
  • Entertainment
    • All Entertainment
    • TV
    • MoviesMovie reviews
    • MusicMusic reviews
    • BooksBook reviews
    • Culture
    • ReviewsBook reviewsMovie reviewsMusic reviewsRestaurant reviews
  • Travel
    • All Travel
    • News
    • New ZealandNorthlandAucklandWellingtonCanterburyOtago / QueenstownNelson-TasmanBest NZ beaches
    • International travelAustraliaPacific IslandsEuropeUKUSAAfricaAsia
    • Rail holidays
    • Cruise holidays
    • Ski holidays
    • Luxury travel
    • Adventure travel
  • Kāhu Māori news
  • Environment
    • All Environment
    • Our Green Future
  • Talanoa Pacific news
  • Property
    • All Property
    • Property Insider
    • Interest rates tracker
    • Residential property listings
    • Commercial property listings
  • Health
  • Technology
    • All Technology
    • AI
    • Social media
  • Rural
    • All Rural
    • Dairy farming
    • Sheep & beef farming
    • Horticulture
    • Animal health
    • Rural business
    • Rural life
    • Rural technology
    • Opinion
    • Audio & podcasts
  • Weather forecasts
    • All Weather forecasts
    • Kaitaia
    • Whangārei
    • Dargaville
    • Auckland
    • Thames
    • Tauranga
    • Hamilton
    • Whakatāne
    • Rotorua
    • Tokoroa
    • Te Kuiti
    • Taumaranui
    • Taupō
    • Gisborne
    • New Plymouth
    • Napier
    • Hastings
    • Dannevirke
    • Whanganui
    • Palmerston North
    • Levin
    • Paraparaumu
    • Masterton
    • Wellington
    • Motueka
    • Nelson
    • Blenheim
    • Westport
    • Reefton
    • Kaikōura
    • Greymouth
    • Hokitika
    • Christchurch
    • Ashburton
    • Timaru
    • Wānaka
    • Oamaru
    • Queenstown
    • Dunedin
    • Gore
    • Invercargill
  • Meet the journalists
  • Promotions & competitions
  • OneRoof property listings
  • Driven car news

Puzzles & Quizzes

  • Puzzles
    • All Puzzles
    • Sudoku
    • Code Cracker
    • Crosswords
    • Cryptic crossword
    • Wordsearch
  • Quizzes
    • All Quizzes
    • Morning quiz
    • Afternoon quiz
    • Sports quiz

Regions

  • Northland
    • All Northland
    • Far North
    • Kaitaia
    • Kerikeri
    • Kaikohe
    • Bay of Islands
    • Whangarei
    • Dargaville
    • Kaipara
    • Mangawhai
  • Auckland
  • Waikato
    • All Waikato
    • Hamilton
    • Coromandel & Hauraki
    • Matamata & Piako
    • Cambridge
    • Te Awamutu
    • Tokoroa & South Waikato
    • Taupō & Tūrangi
  • Bay of Plenty
    • All Bay of Plenty
    • Katikati
    • Tauranga
    • Mount Maunganui
    • Pāpāmoa
    • Te Puke
    • Whakatāne
  • Rotorua
  • Hawke's Bay
    • All Hawke's Bay
    • Napier
    • Hastings
    • Havelock North
    • Central Hawke's Bay
    • Wairoa
  • Taranaki
    • All Taranaki
    • Stratford
    • New Plymouth
    • Hāwera
  • Manawatū - Whanganui
    • All Manawatū - Whanganui
    • Whanganui
    • Palmerston North
    • Manawatū
    • Tararua
    • Horowhenua
  • Wellington
    • All Wellington
    • Kapiti
    • Wairarapa
    • Upper Hutt
    • Lower Hutt
  • Nelson & Tasman
    • All Nelson & Tasman
    • Motueka
    • Nelson
    • Tasman
  • Marlborough
  • West Coast
  • Canterbury
    • All Canterbury
    • Kaikōura
    • Christchurch
    • Ashburton
    • Timaru
  • Otago
    • All Otago
    • Oamaru
    • Dunedin
    • Balclutha
    • Alexandra
    • Queenstown
    • Wanaka
  • Southland
    • All Southland
    • Invercargill
    • Gore
    • Stewart Island
  • Gisborne

Media

  • Video
    • All Video
    • NZ news video
    • Herald NOW
    • Business news video
    • Politics news video
    • Sport video
    • World news video
    • Lifestyle video
    • Entertainment video
    • Travel video
    • Markets with Madison
    • Kea Kids news
  • Podcasts
    • All Podcasts
    • The Front Page
    • On the Tiles
    • Ask me Anything
    • The Little Things
  • Cartoons
  • Photo galleries
  • Today's Paper - E-editions
  • Photo sales
  • Classifieds

NZME Network

  • Advertise with NZME
  • OneRoof
  • Driven Car Guide
  • BusinessDesk
  • Newstalk ZB
  • Sunlive
  • ZM
  • The Hits
  • Coast
  • Radio Hauraki
  • The Alternative Commentary Collective
  • Gold
  • Flava
  • iHeart Radio
  • Hokonui
  • Radio Wanaka
  • iHeartCountry New Zealand
  • Restaurant Hub
  • NZME Events

SubscribeSign In
Advertisement
Advertise with NZME.
Home / Lifestyle

Safe sexting: We teach school kids about safe sex. We need to teach safe sexting too

By Giselle Natassia Woodley and Lelia Green
The Conversation ·
15 Mar, 2024 11:42 PM6 mins to read

Subscribe to listen

Access to Herald Premium articles require a Premium subscription. Subscribe now to listen.
Already a subscriber?  Sign in here

Listening to articles is free for open-access content—explore other articles or learn more about text-to-speech.
‌
Save

    Share this article

While the risks should be acknowledged, education should also include how to be respectful and safe with sexting. Photo / 123rf

While the risks should be acknowledged, education should also include how to be respectful and safe with sexting. Photo / 123rf

Sexting involves taking self-made naked or partially naked sexual photos, videos or explicit texts and sending them online or via a mobile phone. They are more commonly referred to as “nudes” or “dick pics”.

A 2021 survey of almost 7000 Australian teenagers (aged 14 to 18) found sexting was “ordinary practice” for young people. Of those surveyed, 86 per cent reported they had received sexts and 70 per cent said they had sent them.

Our new research, conducted out of Edith Cowan University in Western Australia, explores Australian teens’ experiences with sexting and sext education. We conducted 49 interviews with 30 young Australians (aged 11 to 17), with 19 repeat interviews a year later.

Our findings show how current messages to simply avoid sexting do not work for young people. While the risks should be acknowledged, education should also include how to be respectful and safe with sexting.

What are the laws around sexting?

Advertisement
Advertise with NZME.
Advertisement
Advertise with NZME.

In most states and territories in Australia, it is legal to have sex when you are 16, but you need to be 18 to sext.

This is because the creation of sexual images of people who are minors is seen as creating child sexual exploitation materials. This is illegal under Commonwealth laws.

This makes sexting between people under 18, consenting or otherwise, legally and ethically complex.

States have diverse practices regarding underage sexting (and police and prosecutors have some discretion). But if you are in possession of a naked image of someone under 18 or send a naked image of someone under 18, you are breaking the law. It is even illegal to own a naked photo of yourself under 18, even if that image is never sent to anyone.

Advertisement
Advertise with NZME.

Researchers have argued this legal approach to sexting can end up punishing those it is supposed to protect. It also adds to the shaming and fear around sexting for young people.

In New Zealand, teenagers can legally have sex and sext at the age of 16, according to Oranga Tamariki.

Most young people in an Australian study had their first experience of sexting between 10 and 13 years old. In many cases, this was before their first kiss. Photo / 123 rf
Most young people in an Australian study had their first experience of sexting between 10 and 13 years old. In many cases, this was before their first kiss. Photo / 123 rf

Our research

Most young people in our study had their first experience of sexting between 10 and 13 years old. In many cases, this was before their first kiss.

But young people in our study said education about sexting in school tends to be based around risks, often in response to a particular incident and is mostly ignored by students. As Max*, 12, told us, “it was just basically saying … ‘don’t send them’”.

Lauren, 14, said: “They more veer on the safety side of things … why nudes are bad.”

She argued this didn’t work. “They [teens] know the warnings, but it just sort of goes in one ear and out the other. I don’t think kids listen to that.”

Rightly or wrongly, teens in our study also saw relationships as a safe space for sexting. As Warren, 17, said: “If I was in a relationship, it’s a bit different because I trust them, they trust me.”

This “don’t do it” messaging is akin to abstinence-only sex education, which is widely acknowledged to be ineffective and fails to protect young people from pregnancy and STIs. In contrast, comprehensive sexuality education has been proven to delay first sexual experiences and increase contraceptive use. This shows offering young people access to important sexual information can protect them.

Teens in our study acknowledged sexting had a “dark side”.
Teens in our study acknowledged sexting had a “dark side”.

Young people want to be ‘be prepared’

Teens in our study acknowledged sexting had a “dark side”.

For many, their first sext was an unsolicited image known as “cyberflashing”. Many knew of peers who had their own images leaked by other students without their consent, even though none said this had happened to them. This sharing and leaking of private images has previously been known as “revenge porn” and forms part of an array of behaviours known as technology-facilitated sexual violence, which is illegal.

Advertisement
Advertise with NZME.

Teens wished they had been taught about sexting before encountering it so they could “be prepared”. Secondary school students said sexting education should begin in upper primary school with age-appropriate discussions continuing into high school, where, as Tiffany, 15, told us, sexting “happens regularly, daily”.

Lauren said education around how to be respectful and consider issues like consent in online safety was also important: “I think it would be really useful, some people just don’t know, if you send something to someone that it’s obviously ‘private’ … you just want to share it with that one person.”

The UK is changing its approach

Pretending sexting won’t or shouldn’t happen because it is illegal is like pretending no one under 16 has sex, no young teenagers drink alcohol and no one takes illicit drugs. We don’t pretend these behaviours don’t exist: we educate for harm minimisation around them.

Recent guidance to schools in the United Kingdom around sexting reduces the emphasis on legal issues, while attempting to minimise shaming of young people who sext. This approach emphasises young people’s rights and responsibilities to make informed choices over their own bodies and sexual selves.

Indeed, online sex is sex, forming part of a repertoire of sexual behaviours. Offering non-judgmental information acknowledges sexuality as a legitimate part of human development.

It helps if teens know parents will help in a crisis, rather than punish them. Photo / Getty
It helps if teens know parents will help in a crisis, rather than punish them. Photo / Getty

What can parents and teachers do?

Parents and teachers can offer balanced information that identifies potential dangers but also acknowledges the reality of young people’s behaviours.

Advertisement
Advertise with NZME.

Instead of “don’t do it”, teens may be more receptive to discussions about consent and mutual respect for one another’s bodies as they would (and should) in real life.

If things do “go wrong” there are several services available.

The eSafety Commission acknowledges it is important young people know they can always say no to a request to send nudes, and to avoid sharing intimate images and videos without consent . This is a breach of trust and against the law. It also has advice for when nudes have been shared, if someone is trying to blackmail you over a naked image (“sextortion”) and provides a way to report image-based sexual abuse.

You can also make a report to the Australian Centre to Counter Child Exploitation and US-based site Take It Down

The federal government’s parenting website, the Raising Children Network also offers balanced step-by-step guides if your child is asked to send a nude, receives one or has one shared without their consent.

Above all, maintaining an open dialogue and a shame-free stance will allow young people to feel safe to discuss anything with the adults in their lives. It also helps if teens know parents will help in a crisis, rather than punish them.

Advertisement
Advertise with NZME.

*Names have been changed. Additional reporting by NZ Herald.

Save

    Share this article

Latest from Lifestyle

LifestyleUpdated

Watch: Monteith’s Wild Food Challenge returns to Auckland after 11 year hiatus

18 Jun 06:32 AM
Premium
Lifestyle

How healthy is chicken breast?

18 Jun 06:00 AM
Premium
Lifestyle

I thought I was a ‘moderate’ drinker until I started tracking my alcohol

18 Jun 12:00 AM

Sponsored: Embrace the senses

sponsored
Advertisement
Advertise with NZME.

Latest from Lifestyle

Watch: Monteith’s Wild Food Challenge returns to Auckland after 11 year hiatus

Watch: Monteith’s Wild Food Challenge returns to Auckland after 11 year hiatus

18 Jun 06:32 AM

A live cook-off featured ox heart, wapiti, wild boar and plenty of edible wildlife.

Premium
How healthy is chicken breast?

How healthy is chicken breast?

18 Jun 06:00 AM
Premium
I thought I was a ‘moderate’ drinker until I started tracking my alcohol

I thought I was a ‘moderate’ drinker until I started tracking my alcohol

18 Jun 12:00 AM
Premium
UK sculptor claims NZ artwork copied his design, seeks recognition

UK sculptor claims NZ artwork copied his design, seeks recognition

17 Jun 10:23 PM
Help for those helping hardest-hit
sponsored

Help for those helping hardest-hit

NZ Herald
  • About NZ Herald
  • Meet the journalists
  • Newsletters
  • Classifieds
  • Help & support
  • Contact us
  • House rules
  • Privacy Policy
  • Terms of use
  • Competition terms & conditions
  • Our use of AI
Subscriber Services
  • NZ Herald e-editions
  • Daily puzzles & quizzes
  • Manage your digital subscription
  • Manage your print subscription
  • Subscribe to the NZ Herald newspaper
  • Subscribe to Herald Premium
  • Gift a subscription
  • Subscriber FAQs
  • Subscription terms & conditions
  • Promotions and subscriber benefits
NZME Network
  • The New Zealand Herald
  • The Northland Age
  • The Northern Advocate
  • Waikato Herald
  • Bay of Plenty Times
  • Rotorua Daily Post
  • Hawke's Bay Today
  • Whanganui Chronicle
  • Viva
  • NZ Listener
  • Newstalk ZB
  • BusinessDesk
  • OneRoof
  • Driven Car Guide
  • iHeart Radio
  • Restaurant Hub
NZME
  • About NZME
  • NZME careers
  • Advertise with NZME
  • Digital self-service advertising
  • Book your classified ad
  • Photo sales
  • NZME Events
  • © Copyright 2025 NZME Publishing Limited
TOP