Tāwera Nikau has come through the darkness to rebuild a life filled with purpose and meaning. Photo / Moha Winders
Warning: This story discusses suicide, which may be distressing and/or triggering to some readers.
It’s nearly 20 years since rugby league legend Tāwera Nikau lost his leg in a devastating motorcycle accident – a moment that plunged him into a deep despair. Still grieving the loss of his wife Letitia, who died by suicide just a few years earlier, the former athlete found himself questioning whether he would ever feel true happiness again.
He says: “I remember sitting on the edge of my hospital bed, feeling sorry for myself, having a cry and thinking, ‘What does a one-legged former rugby league player do with his life?’”
But with the support of his whānau, Nikau has come through the darkness to rebuild a life filled with purpose and meaning. At 58, he is a keen advocate for his family, community and the environment, and says giving back is what drives him.
“What I’ve learned is that s*** happens to all of us,” he says. “We all go through different challenges at different times, but it’s really about how you see it and what you decide to do about it.
“You have to ask for help, hold on to optimism and eventually the sun will come out again. But you can’t do it alone – you have to surround yourself with your people.”
The devoted dad and grandad is speaking to us from his farm at Ohinewai, on the banks of Lake Waikare, where he’s several hours deep into clearing drains and maintaining stopbanks. It’s hard work, but he’s in his happy place, outdoors on his whānau’s land in north Waikato. He might only have one leg, but he believes he’s in better shape than most.
“It doesn’t hinder me in any way,” he says. “I did the Hyrox and Ultimate Athlete [fitness events] this year. I go to the gym every morning and train. I’m on the farm or travelling every day. I’m probably a lot fitter than most people with two legs.”
It’s fair to say the former Match Fit star is a man with many strings to his bow – not only is he managing his whānau trust’s dairy and cropping farms, but he’s also involved in the code in which he made his name, sitting on the New Zealand Rugby League Board of Directors and acting as a selector for the Kiwis.
Still a highly sought-after motivational speaker, Nikau shares with audiences his experiences overcoming adversity and his mental health challenges. He’s also worked closely with Māori farmers through the Fonterra network and been involved with the Rural Support Trust, helping people in agricultural communities get the assistance they need.
He is also a committed environmentalist and is thrilled to be co-chairing the Endangered Species Foundation (Tāngaro Tuia te Ora). Grounded in his Waikato-Tainui heritage, the organisation is tasked with tackling some of the most urgent ecological crises facing New Zealand, from polluted rivers to the threat of sand mining in coastal habitats.
These are causes close to Nikau’s heart, having grown up on the shores of Lake Waikare with a respect and commitment to honouring the land. He says a lifetime of farming and being Māori go hand in hand with environmentalism.
“Most farmers are environmentalists,” he says. “We’re looking after the animals and looking after the land – really living and breathing it. But being Māori adds another dimension with mātauranga Māori [traditional knowledge] and our historical context of mātauranga tuku iho, which are the things that have been passed on from our tūpuna and our ancestors. I’ve always had a strong understanding of how important our environment is for us as Māori.”
He describes wetlands as “the Earth’s kidneys” for their important role in filtering water and is passionate about the restoration work of the Endangered Species Foundation. He’s championing Māori-led restoration programmes, empowering local communities and running projects that aim to eradicate invasive species.
It’s hard to imagine how Nikau can fit so much into each day, but keeping busy is how he likes it.
“When you get to a certain age, you realise you have to be part of the community, but also that you can mentor and help younger people. I’m always thinking about how I can inspire and motivate.”
But it’s his close-knit whānau who bring him the greatest joy. Yes, he’s faced unimaginable tragedy; however, with his wife Hayley by his side, he’s found contentment.
“I’m just very grateful that I have a beautiful wife, happy children and healthy grandchildren, and every morning I’m thankful for what I have. It’s a tough world out there, so mindfulness and gratitude are really important.”
See endangeredspecies.org.nz to learn more about the Endangered Species Foundation or to make a donation. If you’re struggling with your mental health, call or text 1737 at any time to speak to a trained counsellor for free, or visit mentalhealth.org.nz. For the Suicide Crisis Helpline, dial 0508 TAUTOKO.