All Access. All in one subscription. From $2 per week
Subscribe now

All Access Weekly

From $2 per week
Pay just
$15.75
$2
per week ongoing
Subscribe now
BEST VALUE

All Access Annual

Pay just
$449
$49
per year ongoing
Subscribe now
Learn more
30
NZ Herald
  • Home
  • Latest news
  • Herald NOW
  • Video
  • New Zealand
  • Sport
  • World
  • Business
  • Entertainment
  • Podcasts
  • Quizzes
  • Opinion
  • Lifestyle
  • Travel
  • Viva
  • Weather

Subscriptions

  • Herald Premium
  • Viva Premium
  • The Listener
  • BusinessDesk

Sections

  • Latest news
  • New Zealand
    • All New Zealand
    • Crime
    • Politics
    • Education
    • Open Justice
    • Scam Update
  • Herald NOW
  • On The Up
  • World
    • All World
    • Australia
    • Asia
    • UK
    • United States
    • Middle East
    • Europe
    • Pacific
  • Business
    • All Business
    • MarketsSharesCurrencyCommoditiesStock TakesCrypto
    • Markets with Madison
    • Media Insider
    • Business analysis
    • Personal financeKiwiSaverInterest ratesTaxInvestment
    • EconomyInflationGDPOfficial cash rateEmployment
    • Small business
    • Business reportsMood of the BoardroomProject AucklandSustainable business and financeCapital markets reportAgribusiness reportInfrastructure reportDynamic business
    • Deloitte Top 200 Awards
    • CompaniesAged CareAgribusinessAirlinesBanking and financeConstructionEnergyFreight and logisticsHealthcareManufacturingMedia and MarketingRetailTelecommunicationsTourism
  • Opinion
    • All Opinion
    • Analysis
    • Editorials
    • Business analysis
    • Premium opinion
    • Letters to the editor
  • Politics
  • Sport
    • All Sport
    • OlympicsParalympics
    • RugbySuper RugbyNPCAll BlacksBlack FernsRugby sevensSchool rugby
    • CricketBlack CapsWhite Ferns
    • Racing
    • NetballSilver Ferns
    • LeagueWarriorsNRL
    • FootballWellington PhoenixAuckland FCAll WhitesFootball FernsEnglish Premier League
    • GolfNZ Open
    • MotorsportFormula 1
    • Boxing
    • UFC
    • BasketballNBABreakersTall BlacksTall Ferns
    • Tennis
    • Cycling
    • Athletics
    • SailingAmerica's CupSailGP
    • Rowing
  • Lifestyle
    • All Lifestyle
    • Viva - Food, fashion & beauty
    • Society Insider
    • Royals
    • Sex & relationships
    • Food & drinkRecipesRecipe collectionsRestaurant reviewsRestaurant bookings
    • Health & wellbeing
    • Fashion & beauty
    • Pets & animals
    • The Selection - Shop the trendsShop fashionShop beautyShop entertainmentShop giftsShop home & living
    • Milford's Investing Place
  • Entertainment
    • All Entertainment
    • TV
    • MoviesMovie reviews
    • MusicMusic reviews
    • BooksBook reviews
    • Culture
    • ReviewsBook reviewsMovie reviewsMusic reviewsRestaurant reviews
  • Travel
    • All Travel
    • News
    • New ZealandNorthlandAucklandWellingtonCanterburyOtago / QueenstownNelson-TasmanBest NZ beaches
    • International travelAustraliaPacific IslandsEuropeUKUSAAfricaAsia
    • Rail holidays
    • Cruise holidays
    • Ski holidays
    • Luxury travel
    • Adventure travel
  • Kāhu Māori news
  • Environment
    • All Environment
    • Our Green Future
  • Talanoa Pacific news
  • Property
    • All Property
    • Property Insider
    • Interest rates tracker
    • Residential property listings
    • Commercial property listings
  • Health
  • Technology
    • All Technology
    • AI
    • Social media
  • Rural
    • All Rural
    • Dairy farming
    • Sheep & beef farming
    • Horticulture
    • Animal health
    • Rural business
    • Rural life
    • Rural technology
    • Opinion
    • Audio & podcasts
  • Weather forecasts
    • All Weather forecasts
    • Kaitaia
    • Whangārei
    • Dargaville
    • Auckland
    • Thames
    • Tauranga
    • Hamilton
    • Whakatāne
    • Rotorua
    • Tokoroa
    • Te Kuiti
    • Taumaranui
    • Taupō
    • Gisborne
    • New Plymouth
    • Napier
    • Hastings
    • Dannevirke
    • Whanganui
    • Palmerston North
    • Levin
    • Paraparaumu
    • Masterton
    • Wellington
    • Motueka
    • Nelson
    • Blenheim
    • Westport
    • Reefton
    • Kaikōura
    • Greymouth
    • Hokitika
    • Christchurch
    • Ashburton
    • Timaru
    • Wānaka
    • Oamaru
    • Queenstown
    • Dunedin
    • Gore
    • Invercargill
  • Meet the journalists
  • Promotions & competitions
  • OneRoof property listings
  • Driven car news

Puzzles & Quizzes

  • Puzzles
    • All Puzzles
    • Sudoku
    • Code Cracker
    • Crosswords
    • Cryptic crossword
    • Wordsearch
  • Quizzes
    • All Quizzes
    • Morning quiz
    • Afternoon quiz
    • Sports quiz

Regions

  • Northland
    • All Northland
    • Far North
    • Kaitaia
    • Kerikeri
    • Kaikohe
    • Bay of Islands
    • Whangarei
    • Dargaville
    • Kaipara
    • Mangawhai
  • Auckland
  • Waikato
    • All Waikato
    • Hamilton
    • Coromandel & Hauraki
    • Matamata & Piako
    • Cambridge
    • Te Awamutu
    • Tokoroa & South Waikato
    • Taupō & Tūrangi
  • Bay of Plenty
    • All Bay of Plenty
    • Katikati
    • Tauranga
    • Mount Maunganui
    • Pāpāmoa
    • Te Puke
    • Whakatāne
  • Rotorua
  • Hawke's Bay
    • All Hawke's Bay
    • Napier
    • Hastings
    • Havelock North
    • Central Hawke's Bay
    • Wairoa
  • Taranaki
    • All Taranaki
    • Stratford
    • New Plymouth
    • Hāwera
  • Manawatū - Whanganui
    • All Manawatū - Whanganui
    • Whanganui
    • Palmerston North
    • Manawatū
    • Tararua
    • Horowhenua
  • Wellington
    • All Wellington
    • Kapiti
    • Wairarapa
    • Upper Hutt
    • Lower Hutt
  • Nelson & Tasman
    • All Nelson & Tasman
    • Motueka
    • Nelson
    • Tasman
  • Marlborough
  • West Coast
  • Canterbury
    • All Canterbury
    • Kaikōura
    • Christchurch
    • Ashburton
    • Timaru
  • Otago
    • All Otago
    • Oamaru
    • Dunedin
    • Balclutha
    • Alexandra
    • Queenstown
    • Wanaka
  • Southland
    • All Southland
    • Invercargill
    • Gore
    • Stewart Island
  • Gisborne

Media

  • Video
    • All Video
    • NZ news video
    • Herald NOW
    • Business news video
    • Politics news video
    • Sport video
    • World news video
    • Lifestyle video
    • Entertainment video
    • Travel video
    • Markets with Madison
    • Kea Kids news
  • Podcasts
    • All Podcasts
    • The Front Page
    • On the Tiles
    • Ask me Anything
    • The Little Things
  • Cartoons
  • Photo galleries
  • Today's Paper - E-editions
  • Photo sales
  • Classifieds

NZME Network

  • Advertise with NZME
  • OneRoof
  • Driven Car Guide
  • BusinessDesk
  • Newstalk ZB
  • Sunlive
  • ZM
  • The Hits
  • Coast
  • Radio Hauraki
  • The Alternative Commentary Collective
  • Gold
  • Flava
  • iHeart Radio
  • Hokonui
  • Radio Wanaka
  • iHeartCountry New Zealand
  • Restaurant Hub
  • NZME Events

SubscribeSign In
Advertisement
Advertise with NZME.
Home / Lifestyle

Opinion: My smart, capable mother was forced to make way for a stream of average white men

By Allison Pearson
Daily Telegraph UK·
26 Sep, 2023 08:31 PM8 mins to read

Subscribe to listen

Access to Herald Premium articles require a Premium subscription. Subscribe now to listen.
Already a subscriber?  Sign in here

Listening to articles is free for open-access content—explore other articles or learn more about text-to-speech.
‌

Subscriber benefit

The ability to gift paywall-free articles is a subscriber only benefit. See more offers by clicking the button below.

Already a subscriber?  Sign in here
Save

    Share this article

    Reminder, this is a Premium article and requires a subscription to read.

"Once, when I asked my patently bright parent why she didn’t go into further education, she shrugged and said she wasn’t clever enough." File photo / Getty Images
"Once, when I asked my patently bright parent why she didn’t go into further education, she shrugged and said she wasn’t clever enough." File photo / Getty Images

"Once, when I asked my patently bright parent why she didn’t go into further education, she shrugged and said she wasn’t clever enough." File photo / Getty Images

Opinion by Allison Pearson

OPINION:

There are certain women of my mother’s generation who sweetly still write their shopping lists in shorthand. It is a tribute to the interminable hours of drilling in Pitman’s phonetic squiggles three-quarters of a century ago.

If you were a girl born in the 1930s, 1940s or 1950s, there is a strong chance you left school at 15 and headed to the local tech or secretarial college to train to be a copy typist, as my mum did.

Once, when I asked my patently bright parent why she didn’t go into further education, she shrugged and said she wasn’t clever enough. Only the “brainboxes” at her girls’ grammar school in Wales went to university. Just three of them in her year, I think.

Among the rest, who had got through the very difficult 11-plus (the pass mark was said to be weighted against girls because too many of them did well compared with the boys who are less mature at that age), there were surely many more than three who could have managed a degree.

Keep up with the latest in lifestyle and entertainment

Get the latest lifestyle & entertainment headlines straight to your inbox.
Please email me competitions, offers and other updates. You can stop these at any time.
By signing up for this newsletter, you agree to NZME’s Terms of Use and Privacy Policy.
All Access. All in one subscription. From $2 per week
Subscribe now

All Access Weekly

From $2 per week
Pay just
$15.75
$2
per week ongoing
Subscribe now
BEST VALUE

All Access Annual

Pay just
$449
$49
per year ongoing
Subscribe now
Learn more
30
Advertisement
Advertise with NZME.

But, back then, options for girls were extremely limited, with any resources in the family reserved for their brothers. It was more than that, though. Two hundred years after Jane Austen sardonically cautioned against the perils of girls reading, too much education was still seen as blighting a young woman’s prospects.

As 17-year-old Cicely McCulloch’s father said to her bluntly in the late 1950s, “There’s no point in your having a career, because you’re perfectly bedworthy and will get married.”

Julia Wigan (born 1960) recalls her father giving her and her two sisters Latin lessons “so we would have something to think about whilst doing the washing up”. Thanks, Dad!

Advertisement
Advertise with NZME.

Those are just two of the hilarious yet sad and unsettling quotes found in Jobs for the Girls, the terrific new book from Ysenda Maxtone Graham. It is the third in Maxtone Graham’s “lost worlds” trilogy, following on from the vicissitudes of girls’ boarding schools and British summer holidays that put the sand into sandwiches (not to be confused with grit in the oyster).

What struck me, as I devoured the recollections of 200-plus women, is how recently all this thwarting of female lives went on. The author, who graduated from Cambridge not long after me, tried to get into publishing, but while her male contemporaries swanned into editorial assistant roles, Ysenda had to “get a toe in the door”, starting as the lowest of the low.

Discover more

Employment

Theresa Gattung: Why NZ women are effectively working for free from today

28 Nov 04:06 PM
Employment

Women in their twenties smash glass ceiling to reverse pay gap

09 Dec 03:12 AM
Business

Corporations urge Government to enforce gender pay gap reporting

21 Sep 07:42 PM
Lifestyle

Michelle Ang was on the cusp of Hollywood stardom - then it all changed

30 Sep 05:00 PM

There was a quandary. If you learnt to type, girls were told, you would “never be without a job”, but would you ever progress to a job where you wouldn’t be typing?

Maxtone Graham points out that the passport to decent employment was maths O-level, but that was “off the menu” both at the poorest state schools and the poshest academies for young gentlewomen where learning to be a good hostess and keeping your man happy were the important subjects.

Girls at St Mary’s School, Wantage, had to write a list of their most valued attributes in a husband. “Grouse moor,” quipped one bright spark who was clearly up to rather more than a cordon-bleu course catering for a lifetime of dinner parties.

In the 1970s, marriage was still the perceived destination for girls.
In the 1970s, marriage was still the perceived destination for girls.

At my comprehensive in the 1970s, while the boys did carpentry and metalwork, all the girls did domestic science: among other skills, we were taught to cook for an invalid (mushy beige food), a talent I have yet to find an opportunity to exercise, although there’s still time. Any invalids out there, my cheesy cod bake is all yours.

Marriage was still the perceived destination for girls, so very few got the necessary basics to enter a profession. Many who could – and should – have become doctors ended up nursing instead where they were roared at by dragons. (Older women were allowed to be “dragons” and “office treasures” but never managing directors.)

The dress codes for nurses were terrifying. Patricia Heath told Maxtone Graham about a friend who was on night duty, desperately trying to resuscitate a man who’d had a cardiac arrest. “Night Sister Brown came back from her tea break and was horrified. ‘Nurse,’ she hissed, ‘You’ve got your cardigan on!’”

Advertisement
Advertise with NZME.

(A bitter irony here. Because so many clever girls, who would today be doctors, went into nursing, the standard of nursing was far higher then than now. Women’s gain was the patients’ loss.)

Even by the 1970s, our career horizons were remarkably limited. My teenage girl gang all announced our intention to become air hostesses, probably because we thought we’d marry a handsome pilot.

(To be fair, one Carole Goldsmith worked as a secretary before joining British Airways as a flight attendant and ended up marrying the exceedingly handsome Michael Middleton. Carole is now mother to our future Queen, so the career plan worked out for at least one smart girl.)

Or there was always the typing pool. Rows and rows of women making nine carbon copies of everything, supervised by a strict upright female in front. Shorthand typists were given one single slot per mid-morning and mid-afternoon to go to the “lav”.

If they missed their slot, bad luck. One theme that comes through strongly in this book is the punitive attitude the dragons had towards aspirational girls who were restrained on a tight leash and taught not to get ideas above their station.

It rang a bell. When I was a Littlewoods Saturday girl, our resident dragon would not allow us to sit down all day and even leaning against the till or a clothes rack got you a telling off. Looking back, an element of generational envy must have entered into it. Maxtone Graham points out that mothers were often against daughters working. “You shouldn’t really have a job,” one mother told her offspring, “you’d be taking a job from a man.”

The outrageous workplace sexism which crops up throughout Jobs for the Girls would be jaw-dropping to the MeToo generation, but was looked upon as something you simply had to put up with. Helen, who was sexually assaulted by one of her law firm’s clients, says, “It would never have occurred to me to report it. The recrimination would most likely have been for me, not him.”

Thank goodness that no longer applies today, although Maxtone Graham is far too subtle and curious a writer to issue some blanket condemnation of previous eras. Guys on the factory floor, she notes, often behaved much more like gentlemen towards their female colleagues than the better-educated male bosses upstairs.

Work was more fun too. Flirting, nursing a crush, loitering in the stairwell, paying compliments, falling in love, doing armed combat with the Gestetner machine, all made for a more enjoyable environment than the screen-based, soulless, politically correct joylessness of today’s office. (No wonder so many now prefer to work from home.)

Readers of Jobs for the Girls will all have their own memories, their own stories to tell. (Please do send me yours, and I will share them.) Its author says wistfully that a lack of self-confidence “seeped into girls”. Like my mother, they assumed they weren’t clever enough, yet too many spent their working lives correcting the grammar and spelling of male bosses who were superior to them only in title.

This book made me appreciate how very lucky I was, being born just after the time when girls were condescended to and viewed as unworthy of higher education. Filling in my application form for Cambridge, I remember my pen hovering over Mother’s Occupation.

How did the word “secretary” do justice to the incredibly capable and devoted woman who had read to me, and sung to me, and somehow let me imbibe the complete Rodgers and Hammerstein songbook, so I qualified, against all odds, to read English at one of the best universities in the world when she didn’t have a chance to stay on at school after 16?

I will be giving Jobs for the Girls to my mum (for nostalgia) and my daughter (as a scarcely believable cautionary tale). And to my son, too, who may one day have a daughter of his own who learns Latin – and not just as something to think about over the washing up.

How poignant and powerful is this secret history as it tells us her story.

Jobs for the Girls: How We Set Out to Work in the Typewriter Age, by Ysenda Maxtone Graham (Little Brown Book Group)

  • Allison Pearson is a columnist for the Daily Telegraph

Subscriber benefit

The ability to gift paywall-free articles is a subscriber only benefit. See more offers by clicking the button below.

Already a subscriber?  Sign in here
Save

    Share this article

    Reminder, this is a Premium article and requires a subscription to read.

Latest from Lifestyle

Lifestyle

How a jar of Auckland hummus became a comedian's tour highlight

30 May 06:41 AM
Premium
Lifestyle

Why 36 to 46 is the most critical decade for your health

30 May 06:00 AM
Lifestyle

Why do we cry happy tears? The science behind this emotional paradox

30 May 05:36 AM

Sponsored: Cosy up to colour all year

sponsored
Advertisement
Advertise with NZME.
Recommended for you
'Load of crap': Chris Bishop's rant during Stan Walker performance
New Zealand

'Load of crap': Chris Bishop's rant during Stan Walker performance

30 May 09:57 AM
Brumbies v Crusaders: Battle for second seed
Super Rugby

Brumbies v Crusaders: Battle for second seed

30 May 09:30 AM
Chiefs secure top seed with win over Highlanders
Super Rugby

Chiefs secure top seed with win over Highlanders

30 May 09:18 AM
Erin Patterson trial: Mother’s Day text message aired in court
World

Erin Patterson trial: Mother’s Day text message aired in court

30 May 09:06 AM
'Virtually nothing': Father criticises NZ govt support after son's death
New Zealand

'Virtually nothing': Father criticises NZ govt support after son's death

30 May 08:58 AM

Latest from Lifestyle

How a jar of Auckland hummus became a comedian's tour highlight

How a jar of Auckland hummus became a comedian's tour highlight

30 May 06:41 AM

'We kind of had a joke – should we take him some hummus?'

Premium
Why 36 to 46 is the most critical decade for your health

Why 36 to 46 is the most critical decade for your health

30 May 06:00 AM
Why do we cry happy tears? The science behind this emotional paradox

Why do we cry happy tears? The science behind this emotional paradox

30 May 05:36 AM
Premium
Four ways to know if you're in the alcoholic danger zone

Four ways to know if you're in the alcoholic danger zone

30 May 12:00 AM
Sponsored: Into the woods - the new biophilic design
sponsored

Sponsored: Into the woods - the new biophilic design

NZ Herald
  • About NZ Herald
  • Meet the journalists
  • Newsletters
  • Classifieds
  • Help & support
  • Contact us
  • House rules
  • Privacy Policy
  • Terms of use
  • Competition terms & conditions
  • Our use of AI
Subscriber Services
  • NZ Herald e-editions
  • Daily puzzles & quizzes
  • Manage your digital subscription
  • Manage your print subscription
  • Subscribe to the NZ Herald newspaper
  • Subscribe to Herald Premium
  • Gift a subscription
  • Subscriber FAQs
  • Subscription terms & conditions
  • Promotions and subscriber benefits
NZME Network
  • The New Zealand Herald
  • The Northland Age
  • The Northern Advocate
  • Waikato Herald
  • Bay of Plenty Times
  • Rotorua Daily Post
  • Hawke's Bay Today
  • Whanganui Chronicle
  • Viva
  • NZ Listener
  • What the Actual
  • Newstalk ZB
  • BusinessDesk
  • OneRoof
  • Driven CarGuide
  • iHeart Radio
  • Restaurant Hub
NZME
  • About NZME
  • NZME careers
  • Advertise with NZME
  • Digital self-service advertising
  • Book your classified ad
  • Photo sales
  • NZME Events
  • © Copyright 2025 NZME Publishing Limited
All Access. All in one subscription. From $2 per week
Subscribe now

All Access Weekly

From $2 per week
Pay just
$15.75
$2
per week ongoing
Subscribe now
BEST VALUE

All Access Annual

Pay just
$449
$49
per year ongoing
Subscribe now
Learn more
30
TOP
search by queryly Advanced Search