Nicola Alpe: Why the best gift you can give Mum this Mother's Day is time

Turns out the greatest gift you can give mum is some time off. Photo / Getty Images

OPINION:

Mother's Day can be sprinkled with mixed emotions; remembering mums no longer with us, children no longer with their mothers, fractured relationships, and the strain of trying desperately to become a mother.

If you fall into one of those categories, then my heart goes out to you. It's not easy.

For me, motherhood came late, and with some difficulty, so it is a day of celebration.

Sceptics will say that it's another opportunity to empty the shelves of tiny bath cubes, boxes of suspect chocolates and bottles of perfume, but before you do damage at the mall, I'm about to tell you what mums really want. And it doesn't need to cost a thing.

There are only 24 hours in a day, but mums really want and need extra time.

But this isn't something we long for just so we can iron more school uniforms or pick up more toys, it's so we can sit down before we have to cook dinner, or so we can get to bed at a reasonable hour and wake up not feeling like we've been hit by a truck.

If your mum or the mother of your children craves time, then you can easily give this to her by following my personal dream plan.

Firstly, do the housework. Do it all and do it properly.

Then prepare some dinner, or at least have a plan for dinner that night which does not include her involvement.

Make it something she likes and something that will leave her feeling considered and loved.

Don't bring home stodgy takeaways when she loves a Thai salad.

When those two things are complete, take the kids and leave the house for the entire day.

Leave her alone in her clean and tidy home to relish the peace and quiet as she pleases.

With no housework to do, no dinner to prepare, no need to get in the car to go anywhere, mum can truly relax and recharge.

Now because we are mums who love our children and actually want to spend Mother's Day with them, or we have others who also require a visit on the big day, the above could be done the day before, so mum gets a day to herself and then a day to spend with the kids and previous generation. Winning.

Another way to show mum you care is to take over a job that she hates or that sucks up a lot of her time.

For example, perhaps mum hates emptying and washing the lunchboxes.

The kids could commit to being in charge of their own emptying and washing when they come home from school.

If they're old enough, they could assume responsibility for washing and ironing their own school uniforms. Including sports clothes.

Perhaps it's unpacking the dishwasher, feeding the animals, or washing and vacuuming the car.

Whatever it is, one of the kids committing to take it over will not only help instil responsibility in that child, it removes something from the household to-do list.

Pretty good gift if you ask me.

Finally, if you are absolutely desperate to give mum something, write her a card telling her what she means to you.

Give her a flowering plant so she can watch it grow and flourish just like her children are under her loving care.

Or if you feel she really needs it, give her a night or two at a hotel to enjoy on her own so she can wear a bathrobe all day without judgement, sleep as long as she likes, and miss the kids desperately.