Nicola Alpe: What I've learned about myself from homeschool parenting

During lockdown none of us are having to deal with one of the most tiresome and difficult aspects of teaching: parents, writes Nicola Alpe. Photo / Getty Images

Two weeks in and who knows how many to go, but we aren't Victoria where, as of July, kids had missed 126 days of face-to-face learning; or California, with kids at home for 531 days straight. Basically, a horror story.

Initially I was investigating what real-life skills should be taught in school, and I'm not talking metalwork or sewing. Because I attended school for 13 years, university for four, and have been adulting to varying degrees of success for the ensuing decades, I figured I have enough real-life experience in what kids of varying ages should be taught.

But as I spoke to more friends who are teachers, all of whom are also parents, my angle changed.

We've been playing teacher for a few weeks, but no matter how many times we implore our children to pay attention or have to quickly google something is completely irrelevant in real life, like long division, none of us are having to deal with one of the most tiresome and difficult aspects of teaching; parents.

At first the insights were entertaining and then I got a touch embarrassed; I refer to my earlier statements about considering myself an expert on what kids should be learning. It appears I'm not alone though, and it's nice to have companions out on that ledge.

We know helicopter parents hovering over their kids, lawnmower parents mowing down potential adversity, free-range parents letting their kids explore their own boundaries, tiger parents pushing for academic and extracurricular excellence and more. Causing the most grief for teachers locally are the overs and the unders.

I'm not surprised to discover I have over-parenting tendencies, although I don't consider myself a full-blown tiger parent, mostly because ferrying my child maniacally to after-school activities exhausts me, though I take pride in sewing new Pippins badges to her sash.

The overs are advising schools on what they should be teaching and the more educated and successful the parents are, the more likely they are to think they know more than trained educators. They have difficulty acknowledging that educational practices and philosophies may have moved on from when they were at school and so live in the glory days of their own educational experience and subsequent accomplishments.

Under-parenting is what I regard as a blight on our nation's educational success. Kids are spending too much time playing unrestricted and violent video games at home because it's an easy babysitter and they are wreaking havoc at school daily, even in the best of schools. Kids are hungry, not always because parents are struggling to make ends meet, often because of lazy nutritional choices that could be avoided with a little bit more effort. Not being ready for school with the right equipment or the right clothing, kids exposed to drug use, and those who are continually sleep deprived, current lockdown late nights aside.

You may think your school or community is immune to these problems and that they are only limited to certain areas, but I can assure you they exist everywhere and more often than you think.

The lack of basic parenting disciplines detracts from the ability of teachers to perform their jobs properly, and as such teachers are overwhelmed, burned out and leaving the profession.

No one chooses teaching for the glory or the money, but our brief taste of educating our kids may make us more aware that how we parent our children can impact some of society's most important professionals.